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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 06:29 AM   1
PaulaR
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I want to shout it from the rooftops!!


I am so excited and want to shout it from the rooftops but I am
Not even 5 weeks yet and have a history of early miscarriage! I told 2 friends but my husband won't let me tell anyone else! He doesn't want me to tell my family because they will talk about it 24/7 and he is concerned it will make a miscarriage even harder on me. But omg the secret is literally oozing out of me it's so hard!! Anyone else?



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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 06:36 AM   2
Wobbles
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Depends on your family ... obviously wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy but sometimes we need our family to support us. Its fine to be positively excited imo




 
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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 06:52 AM   3
red_head
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I told my family and my husbands parents when I was pregnant the second time when I was five weeks, and having to tell them when things didn't turn out well a few weeks later was the worst thing ever. I ended up telling them over the phone and then avoiding them for at least a month because I just felt so stupid and naive. His mother had actually said something along the lines - oh maybe there will be a baby and kept saying maybe and hopefully - it was obviously she thought it was too early to tell. It just made everything harder, and if we do get pregnant again, j wouldn't say anything until I was well into the second trimester. My sister in law also recently told at around 7 weeks and then had complications - thankfully everything is fine but I think it just makes things harder. I thought it wouldn't have mattered as if we did miscarry I would have told my mum anyway, but it's much easier to tell someone that something sad has happened, without having to also disappoint them if that makes sense? My mum had already been talking about what she wanted the baby to call her and was super excited, and having to tell her that wasn't going to happen was so sad. Whereas when I had told her on other occasions that I was going through a miscarriage, it was more of a supportive environment as she didn't feel the same grief. I hope that makes sense!
That all being said - I'm sure that none of that will apply to you, and as it's your pregnancy - it's your decision. Just be prepared that if something does happen (which hopefully it won't) that it may make things even worse than it would be.
Urgh I'm sorry how negative this post sounds!
On a lighter note - massive congratulations on your pregnancy! How long had you been trying for? Is it your first? It's lovely you are so excited



 
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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 09:14 AM   4
PaulaR
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I know it makes sense not to tell world but it's so hard as I am thinking about pregnancy every minute. I have two already so you would think I would be more chill!



 
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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 09:14 AM   5
Bumpontherun
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I do know how you feel. This is the fourth time I've been pregnant this year and because of this I am trying very hard not to tell people yet. Even though I am now 8 weeks and have seen the heartbeat on a scan. I still don't want to get my hopes too high and to tell everyone in case I then have to tell them I've had another loss. I don't plan on telling most people until my 12 week scan which is actually going to be when I'm 13.5 weeks. It's so hard though - especially when I'm eating constantly, feeling rotten and obsessing over custard and trifle! Congratulations on your pregnancy



 
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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 10:04 AM   6
Talia12
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I was the same. It's totally understandable. Shout it from the rooftops here if it helps! Congrats



 
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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 20:23 PM   7
NewLeaf
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I hear you!


I am dying to tell someone too... but I'm also scared! I want to tell someone because I want it to feel real! It still feels like a dream! But then I want to wait to make sure everything is 100%... My hubby is terrrrrible at keeping secrets and I know its been killing him not to tell his family yet. But honestly they're so gossipy that if you tell just one person, the rest of the family knows in about 20 minutes.. All calling each other up with the preface "dont tell anyone, but... !!!" lol & Thats not how I want this to go down!

I think I will tell my sister after my first appointment. I just want someone to tell me everything is okay in there before I get people excited. I will try try try not to tell the rest of the fam until 2nd trimester, but not sure how that's gonna pan out.. haha



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Old Oct 11th, 2017, 20:34 PM   8
PaulaR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewLeaf View Post
I am dying to tell someone too... but I'm also scared! I want to tell someone because I want it to feel real! It still feels like a dream! But then I want to wait to make sure everything is 100%... My hubby is terrrrrible at keeping secrets and I know its been killing him not to tell his family yet. But honestly they're so gossipy that if you tell just one person, the rest of the family knows in about 20 minutes.. All calling each other up with the preface "dont tell anyone, but... !!!" lol & Thats not how I want this to go down!

I think I will tell my sister after my first appointment. I just want someone to tell me everything is okay in there before I get people excited. I will try try try not to tell the rest of the fam until 2nd trimester, but not sure how that's gonna pan out.. haha
I think I'm just going to wait for first scan at 7.5 weeeks to tell everyone as the chance of miscarriage after that is less than 5%



 
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Old Oct 13th, 2017, 14:48 PM   9
KittenLifter
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I always thought I would wait longer to tell folks, and then actually got pregnant, and was like "lol no I cannot wait another 2+ months." My NP actually recommended telling a small number of people I trusted as soon as possible, so that if something DID go wrong, I'd have support available. (We told my best friend, our moms, and my little sister first; in that group there are three moms, and two who have had pregnancy losses.)

I swear, time slowed down the first few weeks, anyway. Every day took forevvvvver. I'm of the opinion that whatever you decide is the right choice! You've got the two friends who know and the forums here; if it's still bursting out of you, it is okay (in my book) to tell someone else. But maybe not all the blabby people in your family!



 
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