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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 04:01 AM   11
sam3starxx
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Congratulations on BFP

I'm due July also and my son will nearly be 7 and my partners son will nearly be 9. We all live together. I know they won't have a close bond with the baby due to age gap.

I am a twin and we had a close bond then our little sister came along when we were 6 but we never bonded as the time she was 3/4 talking and so on we were 10 and had no interest we just wanted to play and do 10 year old things.

Which means I know the baby will be the same. The boys will be peas in a pod like they are now so when baby is 3/4 they'll be 11 and 13 they won't be interested in baby at all so I've already prepped myself.

It's annoying ��
Not always true. I have a brother who is 21 months younger than me, a sister 3.5 years young than me and another sister who is nearly 7 years younger. I was not close to my brother and first sister but I was incredibly protective of my baby sister and did everything for her (within reason) when Mum brought her home from hospital. Mum often tells me stories of me not letting her near the baby. The other 2 I couldn't have care less about and was never close growing up although my younger sister and I am now since my eldest was born (he's the oldest out of mine and my siblings children). My brother on the other hand, well, that's another story. I was the kid who spent most of my time in my baby sister's classroom when she started school and the teenager who would rather be at home with her instead of partying. While most siblings with such a large gap wouldn't want their kid siblings tagging along in their shadows, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I don't understand whats not to be true. I was never stating that "they will not bond" I was stating my version of real life events. I am not saying "it will happen" and that they will not bond, was just sharing my experience.

I genuinely hope they have a strong bond, (FX) as well as i would like to hope my children will with baby but sometimes it just doesn't happen (based on my own experiences).



 
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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 05:47 AM   12
WackyMumof2
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Originally Posted by sam3starxx View Post
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Originally Posted by WackyMumof2 View Post
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Originally Posted by sam3starxx View Post
Congratulations on BFP

I'm due July also and my son will nearly be 7 and my partners son will nearly be 9. We all live together. I know they won't have a close bond with the baby due to age gap.

I am a twin and we had a close bond then our little sister came along when we were 6 but we never bonded as the time she was 3/4 talking and so on we were 10 and had no interest we just wanted to play and do 10 year old things.

Which means I know the baby will be the same. The boys will be peas in a pod like they are now so when baby is 3/4 they'll be 11 and 13 they won't be interested in baby at all so I've already prepped myself.

It's annoying ��
Not always true. I have a brother who is 21 months younger than me, a sister 3.5 years young than me and another sister who is nearly 7 years younger. I was not close to my brother and first sister but I was incredibly protective of my baby sister and did everything for her (within reason) when Mum brought her home from hospital. Mum often tells me stories of me not letting her near the baby. The other 2 I couldn't have care less about and was never close growing up although my younger sister and I am now since my eldest was born (he's the oldest out of mine and my siblings children). My brother on the other hand, well, that's another story. I was the kid who spent most of my time in my baby sister's classroom when she started school and the teenager who would rather be at home with her instead of partying. While most siblings with such a large gap wouldn't want their kid siblings tagging along in their shadows, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I don't understand whats not to be true. I was never stating that "they will not bond" I was stating my version of real life events. I am not saying "it will happen" and that they will not bond, was just sharing my experience.

I genuinely hope they have a strong bond, (FX) as well as i would like to hope my children will with baby but sometimes it just doesn't happen (based on my own experiences).
I know this and I never discredited your opinion at all. If I made you feel like I have, I apologize. Again, just like you, just my experience. Every family has different dynamics so there are endless possibilities with large age gaps.



 
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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 06:43 AM   13
sevenofnine
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My mom is the oldest of three kids, she has a brother 18 months younger and a brother 8 years younger. She is equally close to both and I would say both her brothers are like her best friends. She said she felt like a second mom to her youngest brother (not in a bad way, she just felt very protective of him). They all talk almost daily. I think itís hard to know what will happen, as it seems based on the children themselves!



 
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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 09:12 AM   14
ReadynWaiting
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There is 9yrs between ds (14) and dd (5) and you would think there is no gap the we they go on with each other. Some days they love each other and other days they are poking at each other to get a reaction. I never expected them to be best friends nor play together on a daily basis. They have their own connection that will develop and change as they grow.
One thing I was very clear about with all family (in laws especially as ds is from a previous relationship) was that ds was to be included in ALL things related to baby. I was explicit about his concern that he would be forgotten and therefore they were to include him. The first couple months after she was born he made sure to hold her if anyone came to visit as he would get attention too. He did relax after a few months when he realized he wasn’t forgotten.



 
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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 11:22 AM   15
amotherslove
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i chose to have a large gap. my daughter will be almost six when this baby i born. i think its perfect. my sister is nine years older than me. love her lots. its just different than a same age sibling is all!



 
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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 14:23 PM   16
makeithappen
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Thanks everyone.

All your replies have made sense and helped me loads.



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Old Nov 21st, 2017, 14:28 PM   17
Hopfl4bbynbr4
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My first two are 11 months apart (15 &14) then there's a 4 year age gap between ds1 and ds2 (ds2 is 10 now) and there is now a 10 year age gap between ds2 and this baby. We wanted to wait till we were between the ages of 30-35 to complete our family. So that brings us to today with a 10 year age gap between ds2 and this baby and a 15 year age gap between dd and this baby. Dd and ds1 (11 months apart) literally fight like crazy all the time but no one else is allowed to mess with either of them or they get very protective of each other. Ds1 and ds2 (4 years age gap) also fight but not as much and aften play together while ds1 is protective of ds2 when they are playing with friends and such. Dd and ds2 (5 year age gap) are very close and she tries to be his "second moma" which annoys him lol
With all that being said, dd can't wait for this baby to be born even though there will be a 15 year age gap. She tells everyone she will be at the hospital when he is born and will be the 3rd person to hold her baby brother (me, dh, then her) and tells everyone she wants to be home to help me out as much as possible while he's newborn so I'll be able to take naps and shower or whatever it may be. Which is very sweet but we'll have to see how she does with him first.
Ds1 (14) doesn't show any interest at all right now but says he will help out when baby gets older.
Ds2 (10) is excited to be a big brother but also says he's worried about not being the youngest anymore. We've assured all three of them that our love for them will grow everyday and they won't be left out no matter how many more babies we have (this is definitely the last)



 
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Old Nov 27th, 2017, 16:48 PM   18
Allie84
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We never meant to wait his long either. When I have this baby, my DS will be 6 and a half. I'm a bit nervous and hope they have a great relationship, in time.

I grew up an only child and hated it.



 
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Old Nov 29th, 2017, 13:59 PM   19
xdxxtx
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My sister and I are 9 1/2 years apart, so we are now 30 (me) and 40 (sister). We are best friends. We were close siblings, although she found me annoying (which is, of course, normal between siblings of any age gap), and we were at two different stages in life... But now we're both grown ups with families of our own and have tons in common. So, there's hope that they'll get there. Good luck! & Congratulations!!!



 
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