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Old Mar 14th, 2018, 11:35 AM   31
Carlee
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I honnestly don't know. He spends a lot of time on the phone to friends, family and colleagues so I suppose it's possible. I just wish he'd be rational and reasonable for once and talk this through like and adult instead of putting me through all this.



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Old Mar 15th, 2018, 04:43 AM   32
Carlee
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So I just got back from my scan and I am extremely shaken up. Visibility was poor but the technician says I am 9 weeks pregnant and the only thing wrong was that the sac is not well attached to my uterus.
I'm ashamed to say it but this must mean that my "husband" was right.
He left me whilst I was sleeping on december 16th and left the country. He left me without a word and with some serious financial problems of his making. I tried to reason with him for weeks but to no avail.
On january 25th I did have a regrettable fling but we did use protection and so I thought I could just erase it from my mind. I have never done such a thing before but the guy was cute and kept pestering me and I felt so alone and worthless that I gave in. I know that's not an excuse.
Words cannot express just how ashamed I am.



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Old Mar 15th, 2018, 04:58 AM   33
6lilpigs
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Well he sounds like a bit of an idiot anyway for leaving you all the way he did! Maybe this baby is a way for you to have a complete split. Sorry it wasnt the sca result you were hoping for but this baby will be a blessing to you and your children x



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2018, 06:32 AM   34
happycupcake
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Ok, so what does that mean, sac not well attached? Is this a wait and see scenario, or will things be fine?
I'm sorry that the dates don't work out to be your husband's but I have to agree with the previous poster. I know it sounds harsh, but he has treated you like shit! Whether or not he had doubts isn't the point, he should have talked it through with you like an adult as you say. He can't just up and leave at the drop of a hat whenever things get tough, so perhaps you are best off without him. You need stability, not this.
Please bear in mind though that even at this point, sometimes dates can be off, so it may be worth waiting until a little later to really confirm dates.

Also, please don't beat yourself up about having had a fling with someone. Your husband LEFT you, without any warning! Anyone would feel the same, you tried to talk to him but HE refused. Eventually you sought comfort and human connection elsewhere, which is natural. When something distressing happens, you want human contact. You're not a terrible person and you shouldn't be ashamed, you did what many would have done in the same situation



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2018, 12:48 PM   35
Brightxeyes
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Woah, don't you dare say you're ashamed! Your husband left you. In the middle of the bloody night. I would do the exact same thing, no regrets. Hell, I have done that. Never be ashamed!
Your husband cannot expect you to sit around moping, waiting for him, after he's buggered off. Doesn't matter if it's a few weeks or a few days. He buggered off so what the hell does he expect?!
Screw him. You sound far too lovely and he sounds like a bum hole who doesn't deserve you. You should not be ashamed of your actions. We all have regrettable flings, I like to think of them as learning curves.

I can understand your shock about the other guy being the father. These things can happen, maybe the condom tore a little without being noticed etc That can't be helped. You were being sensible.

Are you having a follow up scan? I hope all goes well for you and we're all here to listen if you need to talk.



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2018, 13:20 PM   36
Dreamer429
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Echoing the above - You did NOTHING wrong. He left you - he left the country - you are a human and humans need comfort and connection. He sounds volatile, I also think you should see this as an opportunity to have a clean break and move on with your life. You have been given a beautiful gift and this babe needs his/her momma to be strong, happy, healthy and brave.

Do not feel ashamed. You have all of our support throughout this.



 
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