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Old Mar 7th, 2018, 14:55 PM   1
..marie..
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Hubby doesn’t want baby


I’m so upset Iv just found out I’m expecting my 3rd baby.I am over the moon Iv wanted this for quite sometime,however hubby is devastated and says he can’t do this again it’s meant to be our time now I disagree our sons are 9 & 4 so still babies,I’m just so upset he says that I knew he didn’t want this,even though I told him a few months ago how I wanted another child and that I was no longer going to take the pill he still continued to have unprotected sex.im being made to feel this is my fault.looks like I’m going to be doing this by myself



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Old Mar 7th, 2018, 15:56 PM   2
Brightxeyes
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Firstly, congratulations!

I’m so sorry to hear he’s not taking this well. He knew full well you’re off the pill and continued to have unprotected sex. He’s a big boy I’m sure he knows what may happen if you have unprotected sex.

He can’t just have unprotected sex and think about the consequences afterwards. It doesn’t work that way!

He may also be in a bit of shock. So let the news sink in first before making any permanent decisions.

My partner was pretty much saying ‘not yet’, times not right, and sometimes saying no. He knew I came off the pill and he knew I did want a second sooner rather than later. But he was happy to have unprotected sex. I tried my best to tell him what my LIKELY fertile days were, but twice we had sex totally half asleep and honestly it was a blur. It was my most fertile time and here we are!

His initial reaction was ‘FFS’ and I gave him space. Luckily he came round to the idea. Although annoyingly he likes to remind me our timing isn’t the best. But I just keep saying nothing you can do now so cheer the hell up and be excited like I am.

I hope your husband eventually comes round to the idea of another baby. It may just be the shock talking. He may regret saying what he has. So just give him a few weeks to collect his thoughts (some men may take longer than others). THEN make a decision if he’s still standing by what he has said.

I hope he feels like an absolute ass and apologises profusely to you. You don’t deserve to feel this way. You’ve done nothing wrong.
Big hugs xxx



 
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Old Mar 7th, 2018, 16:21 PM   3
..marie..
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Thank you so much this had made me feel so much better,I really hope he does snap out of it because he’s making me feel uncomfortable in my own home and I’m desperate to tell my mum and our boys but I can’t until he snaps out of it.Hes being very spoilt we are in a better position now money,job,house etc then we ever have.im glad you’re hubby came round it’s such an exciting time and is there ever really a perfect time



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Old Mar 7th, 2018, 23:59 PM   4
WackyMumof2
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I was like your husband when I found out I was pregnant with DS3 - except I was on BC. My partner said after DS2 was diagnosed at the severe end of the ADHD spectrum that he couldn't do it again. To be honest, I didn't want to do it again. DS2 sucked the fun out of parenting because he was just so full on and it was exhausting. I came home in tears and started packing because I know how the other half felt. I didn't want to have another baby but I couldn't terminate and my partner didn't agree with it either because he was a healthy and viable pregnancy. My partner was my rock and told me regardless we would get through it - and we did. We went on to have another baby 6 months after DS3 was born. Give it time. He will come to terms with it. I can't say I agree with you coming off contraception and him not using a condom so I do understand his feelings but it is what it is and in time things will be okay. Congratulations hon.



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 05:42 AM   5
happycupcake
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I'm sorry he's reacted like this, it's bizarre to me because he knew you weren't on contraception and he willingly had unprotected sex with you, knowing what that probably would result in.
It's probably the surprise of it talking at the moment, I think he will come round to the idea eventually. Perhaps when you have your first scan it will bring it home to him that this is a real little life growing and that's precious



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 06:04 AM   6
kittylady
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Hi I'm sort of in the same position. My hubby knew it was unprotected and I made it clear when I thought my fertile time was. However I started spotting and thought af had come so I told hubby I was on. Well the sporting continued for 4 days with only a bit of red on one of the days when I wiped. So I took a test yesterday, strongly positive and the same result today but I'm still spotting so who knows.

There's a lot on at the moment so I might wait to tell him until it's quietened down.



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 07:13 AM   7
..marie..
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Thanks ladies just been up to tell my mum is is absolutely over the moon,feeling a lot better like my mum said a baby is a blessing your married you both work and have the room just give him time,I’m just keeping my distance at the moment which is easier knowing I have my mum to share the excitement with



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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 07:15 AM   8
..marie..
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Kitty lady He may surprise you Hun and the spotting could settle I had it all through on my 2nd and everything is fine,when are you due I think we are around the same date



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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 07:19 AM   9
happycupcake
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I too had spotting/bleeding with all three of my children early on, with DS2 it seemed sex was causing it so we didn't do anything for a while. There wasn't any obvious cause with the others but it stopped eventually



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2018, 14:53 PM   10
kittylady
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I'm due the 12th Nov. I think he'd be supportive but it took him half the pregnancy last time to come to terms with it. To be honest I think I'm in denial a bit. I know I have a positive test result but I can't imagine going through it all again.



 
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