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Old May 20th, 2018, 11:37 AM   1
phantomfaery1
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Mil told everyone !!!


Am so down right now , so we invited my partners parents over a couple of weeks ago to let them know about pregnancy we explicitly told them not to tell anybody yetX all went well they were really happy X we were gonna wait a couple of weeks to tell my parents (long story). Anyway we had planned to go up to visit the rest of my partners family this weekend and were so excited to break the news when the MIL informed us over the phone that she had already told everybody!!! That she hopes it's okay and that she had messaged us on whatsapp asking if she could tell everyone but we hadn't replied. Yes we haven't replied doesn't mean you can tell everyone!!!! And she knew she was in the wrong coz all the congratulation messages we received all went along the lines of "not sure we supposed to know " and "didn't say anything before because not sure if we supposed to know " . So my partners very distant family knew before my parents even did. Am very upset. Feel like our moment has been stolen I wanted to tell people and see there reactions. Sorry if I'm ott but gutted



 
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Old May 20th, 2018, 12:01 PM   2
Babybum35
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Been there and done that with my parents. It's absolutely not okay for anyone to not respect you or your wishes. My dh doesn't have parents, but I wanted to not have a lot of people to call if something went wrong and I made that clear. Not a week later my mom asked to tell her sister. I felt obligated but told her she was dealing with the fall out if something happened. So messed up when people feel like they can for any reason ask you to be okay with what they want more than what you want. Luckily that baby is now 2.5 but I'm pregnant again and am in no rush to say anything about it to her. I think your reaction is normal and healthy



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Old May 20th, 2018, 12:25 PM   3
phantomfaery1
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Thanks hun just so mad and upset and it's like she was pressuring us , instead of sending a private text to my partner asking if she could tell everybody she wrote on a PUBLIC whatsapp chat which contains my partners whole family (except me!). She wrote "Jamie can I tell everyone your big news?" (Jamie my partner) she obviously knew everyone would jump on it wanting to know what was going on, so angry she interfere to much!



 
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Old May 20th, 2018, 13:00 PM   4
Babybum35
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So disrespectful. Sometimes people don't know how to deal with not being in control or included and they kind of butt in and make things worse so they can fix it. It makes no sense cause all you want is for them to support you and be happy for you. It's ok to not do everything others think that you should.



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Old May 20th, 2018, 13:04 PM   5
misspriss
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This is absolutely disrespectful. Do not share future pregnancy news (gender if you find out, etc) with them until you tell everyone. Be wary in the future, if she will stomp all over this boundary, consider what she will do in the future. Feeding her solids after you say not to? Feeding water/juice/cow milk before old enough? If she disregards your explicit instructions on this, she is not above doing it again in the future. Be very careful.



 
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Old May 20th, 2018, 13:14 PM   6
Tashywashywoo
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You're completely justified for being so upset, how awful! I can understand her excitement, but she has no right to take those special moments away from you.



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Old May 20th, 2018, 13:17 PM   7
dizzy65
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Old May 20th, 2018, 13:36 PM   8
phantomfaery1
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Thank you for your replies X am in tears now, I know it's silly but I guess we all dream about telling people our news and have expectations. I am gonna be wary from now on she has done similar controlling things in the past but I always just thought her hearts in the right place but I'm gonna have to set some boundaries me thinks. For example my partner has a son from a previous relationship and him and his mum moved across country so my partner only sees him school holidays, well the MIL decided to book a holiday to New Zealand taking my partners son for the whole holiday without asking my partner if it was okay! My partner didn't get to see his son at all I was fuming!! I've told everyone that we are not going to announce names and gender . Uhhh stressed out



 
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Old May 20th, 2018, 16:44 PM   9
bdb84
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It's not silly at all to be upset about this. This is YOUR big news to share; no one else's . I hope your partner let his mother know just how much she ruined the surprise for you all, and I hope she feels really shitty for taking it upon herself to tell everyone.



 
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Old May 20th, 2018, 19:42 PM   10
MrsP1117
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Do not feel bad for being upset. She had no right to do that. I would share limited details with her and she can find them out with everyone else since she has proven she can’t be respectful and keep a secret. My MIL has not been that bad but guilted us into telling my husbands grandmother “bc she’s having a rough few weeks”. Not to be mean, but ice cream would have been sufficient, we didn’t need to share the news when we weren’t ready. I was just very up front with her and said we will tell her but that’s the end, you can’t dictate who we tell and when. She just looked ashamed and said ok. lol stand your ground, it’s your moment and news!



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