A very close friend of mine found out few weeks ago wen she went for her 12wk scan that there was no baby..possible blighted ovum...wen she went back for further scan she had a MMC.
Few days later before her 2nd scan i found out i was pregnant, spoke to friends for advice wondering when to tell her. i decided to tell her b4 she had her 2nd scan(there was still hope @ this point for her) as i thought if i had of told her afterwards it wud av been like rubbin salt in the wound. she took it well and i explained i didnt want her finding out from other ppl blah blah!

Anyhow its been hard to speak to her and i feel i cant talk to her either. Well my feelings where right as she has just told me i shud have waited to tell her as she was jelous it wasnt her. i explained why i had told her wen i did and explained i felt there would have been no right time, and that she wud av still felt the same about it no matter when she was told.
My sister also lost her daughter @35wks 6wks ago, so i had to also find the right time to tell her too.
Im now sitting here feeling guilty as hell for being pregnant, and crying because i am and my friend isnt. should i have waited and let her find out from other ppl, shud i have not told her wen i did???///??

My sister lost her baby at 21 weeks this time last year and had an mmc in January. So my pregnancy certainly strained things with us. It took us a good few weeks to really talk about it. I never forced the situation and she made the first move really and has started giving me some good advice etc.

It is really hard. Only time will help on this one. she will be grieving and will most probably be jealous for you, it is totally normal. I found I just couldn't be excited around my sister and that annoyed me because I wanted to be excited.

Do not feel guilty about it, life goes on, but maybe do step carefully and just don't force the situation just yet.

So hard, but everything will be fine xxx

iv not mentioned it to her since that day! As i feel i cant coz its like rubbin her face in it, an it only came up tonight by accident how i know how she feels bout it. i was actually preg b4 she found out her terrible news, so avnt done it to be nasty. Also because she struggles gettin preg and my hubby has to only look at me and im pregnant must also piss her off.

you did the right thing in telling her when you did ,she will heal in time and i bet she is feeling guilty to for the way she is feeling .she will just need time

I got preggo from a one night stand with a friend, so my sister was not exactly impressed with me!!

I'm on your side and know how you feel. But in the past few weeks I have really seen my sisters side too, which has helped me deal with it in a respectful manner, but still enjoy my pregnancy!

Maybe go into the miscarriage section and have a read in there. It may help you, I did. Maybe ask for advice, after all these women have been there and can give you a view from their side xxx

You did the right thing hun x

I had a similar feeling when I was pregnant with Brandon as the person I sat next to at work had had several courses of IVF, was about ten years older than me and desperate for a child, shortly before I got pregnant she did but was rushed into hospital with a late ectopic, had an almost full body blood transfusion and nearly died : ( anyway, people sitting around us would ask me about the baby and it was so awkward. One day another pregnant lady on out processing line who had her scan sent the picture along the line but someone quickly removed it before it got to my friend then put it back again, she noticed and was deeply upset, she said it made her feel like an alien, that she wasn't allowed to share other peoples happiness, and she said she wasn't going to lie to me, she was slightly envious that I was pregnant and more to the point, it wasn't planned but why should she be shielded from everyday life and not be allowed to join in?
It was a very emotional talk and really made me think, although I was still very careful not to go overboard talking about the baby constantly.
Lovely news though, a year or so after I had Brandon, she had a beautiful, healthy child and I was so, so pleased for her, she was glowing. Really brightened my day.
Don't feel bad for handling things the way you have, it is so hard knowing whats best to do. my sister is trying for a baby and as I kept my pregnancy a secret from her until about 2 weeks ago, she seems so disinterested and hasn't even spoken to me since my scan.......I kind of wish I had told her earlier but at the same time I wish she understood that I just wanted to get used to the idea before everyone knew.