Sex -Becoming a Problem.

DawnMN26 · Oct 1st, 2010, 09:33 AM

Hello Ladies

Ok I am noticeing that the lack of sex drive on my part since pregnancy is becoming a problem in my relationship with my OH. Before I got pregnant we did the deed 2 - 3 times a week, since we conceived its more like once a week if that. I just have no desire what so ever!! I am always bloated, have cramps, have back pain and depressed from hormones. (had hormonal problem to begin with). Not to give too much info, but my OH is big & at times it hurts. I am very sensitive down there & sex isn't enjoyable for me when it hurts. OUCHHH

My OH says he understands but brings the subject up at least once a week. I just got a text from him just now saying that he doesn't think he could do the once a week thing cause his body is going wacko. I don't know what to do anymore he says he understands but then complains once a week.

When we have arguements, he gets very nasty & throws it in my face & says how he's in a sexless relationship. Don't know what to do anymore....

Sevenladybugs · Oct 1st, 2010, 09:42 AM

Might I suggest you try pleasuring him in other ways? Since it's uncomfortable to have intercourse, consider BJ or HJ. He'll be happy and you won't be so uncomfortable. It's worth trying. You OH also needs to understand this is a temporary thing, and he will have to be more gentle with you now that you are pregnant. If you tell him it's a physical thing, not that you don't want him he might be more understanding.

DawnMN26 · Oct 1st, 2010, 09:44 AM

True! Thanks!
But i don't understand where my desire disappeared to.
Is this normal??

Lui246 · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:04 AM

Yes it is completly normal for some women, i went off sex altogether when i was about 10 weeks pregnant and me and OH have only just started trying again although its still uncomfortable sometimes and some days i still just have no desire to at all.x

MissFox · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:05 AM

Dawn- my DF is one of the guys who thinks sex with a pregnant woman is weird! We've gotten in a couple of fights over it and I've stopped trying for it because I don't want to get rejected. I make comments to him and I would love to give him a HJ (he's not into bjs) but that does me no good. I'm

horny all the time and can't get any. It's been 4 daysshy of a month since we've had sex. Tell you hubby that once a week is all you can do right now, but i agree with trying to please him other ways. Also- try being on top?
My man said that an amazing HJ is just as good as sex sometimes.

DawnMN26 · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:16 AM

Yes! I wish my OH could change spots with me for a few hours & see how it feels to be pregnant. I just wish he understood more. We seem to be getting into fights more & more about it & it isn't helping our relationship at all.

I have to add that I live in a mother/daughter kinda house with my parents & my OH hasn't moved in yet, long story, there's a 2 rooms separate from the rest of the house that we are going to turn into our bedroom & tv room/baby room in a few months after my amnio test results.
SO we don't have a bed of our own yet & the tv room that we spend time in, is right next to my parents & i do not feel comfortable having sex with my parents on the other side of the wall & having sex on the couch or the floor is not very comfy in my book.
We are in the process of looking for a house.

MissFox · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:18 AM

PSSSH! Tell him you will NOT be having sex so your parents can hear!!! DF and I used to live with my mom and she's out in the middle of nowhere so we could gofor a "drive" and try to do it in the car. Things will be OK. I'm really sorry you're fighting more. That makes things hard.

pickles · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:32 AM

I'm not being funny but it's not like your parents don't know you were having sex lol.

I'm right with you on the no sex front, but DH is scared of me mc as we have had previous losses.
If I was in your shoes I'd tell him if I can do without, so can you. His balls won't drop off or any other such nonsense and he has hands of his own if he really needs to. I so don't think it's fair on him to pressure you like that.

DawnMN26 · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:38 AM

haha no they know we have sex, but i choose to have sex when they are upstairs in their bedroom & not in their tv room on the other side of the wall of our tv room. My parents sometimes stay up late watching tv & i won't do it with them still up in the next room. So it may be only once a week when they go upstair early & allows us to do the deed. And sometimes when they are upstairs, i'm not always in the mood.

His comment to me last week when was that its been 2 weeks since we haven't had sex & two weeks is the longest he ever when in his lifetime. He said he never went 2 weeks straight in 43 years without sex. Nice huh?

I have to admit, him complaining about getting sex, makes the whole sex situation feel weird & strange to me now. Its hard to explain.

MissFox · Oct 1st, 2010, 10:49 AM

I understand the weird and strange feeling. I feel like I'm doing something bad when I want sex. The last time... I think... there may have been a VERY quickie a couple days later? or before... it was some of the best sex we had had! We were both sore the next day and he was complaining baout his abs and legs and I was like SEE! SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!! But since then I'm afraid to initiate because I'm afraid that I'm pressuring him and maing him unhappy.

Oct 1st, 2010, 09:33 AM	#1
DawnMN26 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: USA NJ Posts: 639	Sex -Becoming a Problem. Hello Ladies Ok I am noticeing that the lack of sex drive on my part since pregnancy is becoming a problem in my relationship with my OH. Before I got pregnant we did the deed 2 - 3 times a week, since we conceived its more like once a week if that. I just have no desire what so ever!! I am always bloated, have cramps, have back pain and depressed from hormones. (had hormonal problem to begin with). Not to give too much info, but my OH is big & at times it hurts. I am very sensitive down there & sex isn't enjoyable for me when it hurts. OUCHHH My OH says he understands but brings the subject up at least once a week. I just got a text from him just now saying that he doesn't think he could do the once a week thing cause his body is going wacko. I don't know what to do anymore he says he understands but then complains once a week. When we have arguements, he gets very nasty & throws it in my face & says how he's in a sexless relationship. Don't know what to do anymore....

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Oct 1st, 2010, 09:42 AM	#2
Sevenladybugs Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 2,563	Might I suggest you try pleasuring him in other ways? Since it's uncomfortable to have intercourse, consider BJ or HJ. He'll be happy and you won't be so uncomfortable. It's worth trying. You OH also needs to understand this is a temporary thing, and he will have to be more gentle with you now that you are pregnant. If you tell him it's a physical thing, not that you don't want him he might be more understanding.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 09:44 AM	#3
DawnMN26 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: USA NJ Posts: 639	True! Thanks! But i don't understand where my desire disappeared to. Is this normal??

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Oct 1st, 2010, 10:04 AM	#4
Lui246 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Sleaford, Lincolnshire Posts: 198	Yes it is completly normal for some women, i went off sex altogether when i was about 10 weeks pregnant and me and OH have only just started trying again although its still uncomfortable sometimes and some days i still just have no desire to at all.x

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:05 AM	#5
MissFox Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: Humboldt County, Northern CA Posts: 4,706	Dawn- my DF is one of the guys who thinks sex with a pregnant woman is weird! We've gotten in a couple of fights over it and I've stopped trying for it because I don't want to get rejected. I make comments to him and I would love to give him a HJ (he's not into bjs) but that does me no good. I'm horny all the time and can't get any. It's been 4 daysshy of a month since we've had sex. Tell you hubby that once a week is all you can do right now, but i agree with trying to please him other ways. Also- try being on top? My man said that an amazing HJ is just as good as sex sometimes.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:16 AM	#6
DawnMN26 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: USA NJ Posts: 639	Yes! I wish my OH could change spots with me for a few hours & see how it feels to be pregnant. I just wish he understood more. We seem to be getting into fights more & more about it & it isn't helping our relationship at all. I have to add that I live in a mother/daughter kinda house with my parents & my OH hasn't moved in yet, long story, there's a 2 rooms separate from the rest of the house that we are going to turn into our bedroom & tv room/baby room in a few months after my amnio test results. SO we don't have a bed of our own yet & the tv room that we spend time in, is right next to my parents & i do not feel comfortable having sex with my parents on the other side of the wall & having sex on the couch or the floor is not very comfy in my book. We are in the process of looking for a house.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:18 AM	#7
MissFox Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: Humboldt County, Northern CA Posts: 4,706	PSSSH! Tell him you will NOT be having sex so your parents can hear!!! DF and I used to live with my mom and she's out in the middle of nowhere so we could gofor a "drive" and try to do it in the car. Things will be OK. I'm really sorry you're fighting more. That makes things hard.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:32 AM	#8
pickles Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 382	I'm not being funny but it's not like your parents don't know you were having sex lol. I'm right with you on the no sex front, but DH is scared of me mc as we have had previous losses. If I was in your shoes I'd tell him if I can do without, so can you. His balls won't drop off or any other such nonsense and he has hands of his own if he really needs to. I so don't think it's fair on him to pressure you like that.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:38 AM	#9
DawnMN26 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: USA NJ Posts: 639	haha no they know we have sex, but i choose to have sex when they are upstairs in their bedroom & not in their tv room on the other side of the wall of our tv room. My parents sometimes stay up late watching tv & i won't do it with them still up in the next room. So it may be only once a week when they go upstair early & allows us to do the deed. And sometimes when they are upstairs, i'm not always in the mood. His comment to me last week when was that its been 2 weeks since we haven't had sex & two weeks is the longest he ever when in his lifetime. He said he never went 2 weeks straight in 43 years without sex. Nice huh? I have to admit, him complaining about getting sex, makes the whole sex situation feel weird & strange to me now. Its hard to explain.

Status: Offline

Oct 1st, 2010, 10:49 AM	#10
MissFox Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: Humboldt County, Northern CA Posts: 4,706	I understand the weird and strange feeling. I feel like I'm doing something bad when I want sex. The last time... I think... there may have been a VERY quickie a couple days later? or before... it was some of the best sex we had had! We were both sore the next day and he was complaining baout his abs and legs and I was like SEE! SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!! But since then I'm afraid to initiate because I'm afraid that I'm pressuring him and maing him unhappy.

Status: Offline

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