Should I buy a doppler behind dh's back?

ettegirb21 · Oct 8th, 2010, 15:50 PM

Ok....I've had two miscarriages and am going nuts. I was contemplating getting a doppler, but now I absolutely want one. I've heard the heartbeat on a doppler at my OB's, so I know I am at the point where I can hear it on a home doppler.

My hubby and entire family don't support getting a doppler. They don't think it's totally safe (even though I provided research which says in moderation it's fine), and think it'll just cause additional stress. I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should just get one or just tell them I am and to get over it?! Should I not get one?! Ughhhh....I don't know what to do.

Also, do I have to get my doctor's permission to buy/rent one? I came across something that said I do, but couldn't find much more info.

Plunky · Oct 8th, 2010, 15:57 PM

just ask your doctor for another u/s if you've had miscarriages they'll do it. otherwise going behind hubby's back won't help. he may or may not come around in time but a doppler isn't going to do anything except make you feel happy, then really guilty.

BostonMommy · Oct 8th, 2010, 15:57 PM

You can rent them. I did for my last two
Pregnancies. I think it was www.bellybeats.com.

They even gave me prepaid ups label for when I was ready to return it.

I had heavy bleeding at 14 weeks and couldn't see my doctor till after the weekend so let me tell you that having that Doppler there to at least confirm there was still a heartbeat saved me alot of stress over that weekend!!!

BostonMommy · Oct 8th, 2010, 15:59 PM

But I agree, get hubby on board. Even suggest renting until you feel more secure about the pregnancy...

lisaf · Oct 8th, 2010, 16:30 PM

I think the point about the guilt would be hard.. .and if you have one of those nights where baby just isn't in position right and you can't find it... you'll be upset and won't be able to tell hubby why and ask for comfort.

Maybe talk him into one as a temporary measure until you can feel fetal movement... and agree to a limited schedule of checking (some use it nightly which is where I think some of the concern comes in). Most things in moderation are not a risk, so see if there is some level of doppler use that he'll agree to.

Mummy2Angel. · Oct 8th, 2010, 16:33 PM

Personally i would leave it till a bit further along maybe 14/15 weeks, mine came on thursday after my loss in march i thought it would reassure me! not! couldnt find bubs and am totally freaking out, now paying for a 2nd private scan tomorrow to know if beanies ok or not! alot of unnesarcy stress! i always said oh i will find it but when its you sitting there in a total panic its differant lol. Even though ive already had to hospital scans and a private one already, i thought the doppler would offer reasurrance but it hasnt x

Wudluvanuva1 · Oct 8th, 2010, 17:44 PM

Personally i would leave it i don't find them reasurring or reliable, i think it would just cause you added stress x

NandO1 · Oct 8th, 2010, 18:34 PM

im with the dont group, my midwifehad trouble finding the heartbeat sometimes, dont put yourself through that stress.

hotpinkangel · Oct 9th, 2010, 05:38 AM

i'd say don't, i borrowed my friend's at 10 weeks, couldn't pick up hb till 14th week, it just made me panic. even then i couldn't always find it. if u can wait till around 15 weeks then wait!!! x

Mrmojo1971 · Oct 9th, 2010, 05:43 AM

I wanted a doppler for reassurance after a loss earlier this year. OH was totally opposed to it for just about every reason under the sun, but finally agreed to me getting one if I let him keep it so I didn't get obsessive about using it every day.

It arrived last week and I tried a couple of times but haven't managed to find the heartbeat. I haven't panicked about it because I know there's no guarantee of finding it at this stage and my tilted uterus won't help either, but overall it was a big disappointment and hasn't helped me at all.

IMO It's definitely not worth lying to your OH over- if you decide you *must* have one, let him know before you get it.

Oct 8th, 2010, 15:50 PM	#1
ettegirb21 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 562	Should I buy a doppler behind dh's back? Ok....I've had two miscarriages and am going nuts. I was contemplating getting a doppler, but now I absolutely want one. I've heard the heartbeat on a doppler at my OB's, so I know I am at the point where I can hear it on a home doppler. My hubby and entire family don't support getting a doppler. They don't think it's totally safe (even though I provided research which says in moderation it's fine), and think it'll just cause additional stress. I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should just get one or just tell them I am and to get over it?! Should I not get one?! Ughhhh....I don't know what to do. Also, do I have to get my doctor's permission to buy/rent one? I came across something that said I do, but couldn't find much more info.

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Oct 8th, 2010, 15:57 PM	#2
Plunky Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 543	just ask your doctor for another u/s if you've had miscarriages they'll do it. otherwise going behind hubby's back won't help. he may or may not come around in time but a doppler isn't going to do anything except make you feel happy, then really guilty.

Status: Offline

Oct 8th, 2010, 15:57 PM	#3
BostonMommy Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 373	You can rent them. I did for my last two Pregnancies. I think it was www.bellybeats.com. They even gave me prepaid ups label for when I was ready to return it. I had heavy bleeding at 14 weeks and couldn't see my doctor till after the weekend so let me tell you that having that Doppler there to at least confirm there was still a heartbeat saved me alot of stress over that weekend!!!

Status: Offline

Oct 8th, 2010, 15:59 PM	#4
BostonMommy Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 373	But I agree, get hubby on board. Even suggest renting until you feel more secure about the pregnancy...

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Oct 8th, 2010, 16:30 PM	#5
lisaf Other BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: California Posts: 15,135	I think the point about the guilt would be hard.. .and if you have one of those nights where baby just isn't in position right and you can't find it... you'll be upset and won't be able to tell hubby why and ask for comfort. Maybe talk him into one as a temporary measure until you can feel fetal movement... and agree to a limited schedule of checking (some use it nightly which is where I think some of the concern comes in). Most things in moderation are not a risk, so see if there is some level of doppler use that he'll agree to.

Status: Offline

Oct 8th, 2010, 16:33 PM	#6
Mummy2Angel. Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 2,588	Personally i would leave it till a bit further along maybe 14/15 weeks, mine came on thursday after my loss in march i thought it would reassure me! not! couldnt find bubs and am totally freaking out, now paying for a 2nd private scan tomorrow to know if beanies ok or not! alot of unnesarcy stress! i always said oh i will find it but when its you sitting there in a total panic its differant lol. Even though ive already had to hospital scans and a private one already, i thought the doppler would offer reasurrance but it hasnt x

Status: Offline

Oct 8th, 2010, 17:44 PM	#7
Wudluvanuva1 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 1,651	Personally i would leave it i don't find them reasurring or reliable, i think it would just cause you added stress x

Status: Offline

Oct 8th, 2010, 18:34 PM	#8
NandO1 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 1,031	im with the dont group, my midwifehad trouble finding the heartbeat sometimes, dont put yourself through that stress.

Status: Offline

Oct 9th, 2010, 05:38 AM	#9
hotpinkangel Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: East Yorkshire Posts: 996	i'd say don't, i borrowed my friend's at 10 weeks, couldn't pick up hb till 14th week, it just made me panic. even then i couldn't always find it. if u can wait till around 15 weeks then wait!!! x

Status: Offline

Oct 9th, 2010, 05:43 AM	#10
Mrmojo1971 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 617	I wanted a doppler for reassurance after a loss earlier this year. OH was totally opposed to it for just about every reason under the sun, but finally agreed to me getting one if I let him keep it so I didn't get obsessive about using it every day. It arrived last week and I tried a couple of times but haven't managed to find the heartbeat. I haven't panicked about it because I know there's no guarantee of finding it at this stage and my tilted uterus won't help either, but overall it was a big disappointment and hasn't helped me at all. IMO It's definitely not worth lying to your OH over- if you decide you must have one, let him know before you get it.

Status: Offline

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