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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 04:48 AM   11
cliqmo
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Im afraid your damned if you do and damned if you dont, as neither feeling suffocated or abandoned will work. Just keep being your lovely self and try to remember its only for a short while



 
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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 04:51 AM   12
wannabenewmum
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Have you actually asked her whats up. It is most likely hormones, but maybe it would be good to see if she wants to chat. Although us pregnant women are strange my husband went to get fish the other from chip shop.i said if it was too crunchy get me nothing so he did. I went mad(really didnt mean it. And he rightly pointed out if he got crunchy fish I too would be mad) sometime you just cant win best of luck hun.



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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 04:52 AM   13
Bumpontherun
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My husband really annoyed me last time I was pregnant. I started feeling sick around 5 weeks and that lasted until about 20 weeks. I didn't want to be touched, certainly didn't want to have sex and like someone else said I didn't even like the smell of him. I also felt weird about him going anywhere near my boobs. I wasn't sleeping well and he just seemed really needy and clingy (although I don't think he'd really changed at all, it was all me) when I just wanted to be left alone. It's not nearly as bad this time, maybe because we both know what to expect and maybe also because we have our little girl to focus on too.

I think you really need to back off and let your girlfriend work through this in her own time. Obviously we can't say for sure that she still wants to be with you but the way she is behaving sounds very familiar. Give her as much space as she needs, if she's not being too unreasonable then cater to her whims but don't allow yourself to be her punch bag! If you're not living together and she's not wanting to spend the night together then I would let her have her space (I would love a couple of nights alone in our bed at the moment). To be honest I wasn't myself throughout most of my last pregnancy. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you she just has a new focus at the moment. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you



 
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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 04:55 AM   14
needadvice87
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=) thank you so much i will try, its just so hard to stay positive when im getting told that she isent in love with me anymore but dosent seem to end our relationship i just want things to go back to normal and be able to make her smile again like i used to. i really dont think she understands how much she really means to me =/



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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 04:58 AM   15
allaboard
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Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not.

It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now.

I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!

It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make life feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!

Oh and to add, i told my boyfriend last time (the miscarriages) that i didn't love him and wanted to split. This time he knows to expect that, in fact that was the only reason he was worried about having his first baby with me and getting pregnant this time as i totally pushed him away!



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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 05:02 AM   16
needadvice87
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i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(



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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 05:02 AM   17
Bumpontherun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard View Post
Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not.

It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now.

I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!

It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make like feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!
^^^ WSS

I think pregnancy can be really tough even for the strongest relationships.



 
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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 05:06 AM   18
AndreaBat
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She's vulnerable .. she's on edge .. she has changes going on in her body that she has no control over and I know how she feels so here is my advice .. dont put her under pressure .. give her as much space as she wants but be there for her as a friend more than a boyfriend .. i know its hard but that is what she needs .. I have the most amazing b/f .. wouldnt change him for the world but right now I actually get irritated when he comes near me .. sex is a NO NO .. cant even manage a proper kiss without thinking 'hurry up' .. its the hormones .. give her space she needs it. Good luck.



 
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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 05:09 AM   19
allaboard
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Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvice87 View Post
i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(
You need to stop thinking stuff like that - she's just not herself right now so don't judge her on it. Pregnancy puts great emotional strain and physical strain on a woman at a time they need a strong committed partner, not one who feels like that about her. I know you love her and mean well, but what an insult If she knew you believed that, i can bet my life on it she would be very very upset and you'd make her even more distant. Please, put thought like that WELL out of they way, it'll eat into you relationship like cancer.



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Old Feb 3rd, 2011, 05:13 AM   20
needadvice87
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all i do is reasure her that im not going anywhere, i do anything she asks me even if that means walking to a shop at stupid o'clock to get anything she is craving and i help with her two boys as much as i can. the lack of sex is not even a problem i know she feels pretty rubbish at the moment and its not as if i need it on a dayly bases. i just really want her to understan how im am feeling as well but if i try talking about it, it seems to make things a little worse so i have just given up on that. i agree with you ladies its kind of a no win situation. i guess all i can do is make the best of it i just hope she gets better soon.



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