My boss has said previously that I am "not allowed to have a baby". Now even though she has said this in a joking way she's said it on so many occasions that it began to worry me. And now I am pregnant and absolutely terrified. I know that the law is on my side but I have reasons to back up my concern.

We had a review meeting the other day to check my progress as I have worked here for 3 months now. As some people know this happened a lot quicker than we expected and it was just a renegade month to shut me up going on about babies until our agreed TTC date. Luckily for me I got pregnant. Now everything in this review meeting went great just one point I need to improve on and that was to thoroughly proof read my work before printing it off.

Well the other day she asked me to go and do some photcopying that took a VERY long time (3 hours to be precise) and she was sat at my desk talking to others. Now because of her previous talks of me not being allowed to have a baby I had looked up on good ways to tell my boss that i'm pregnant and whilst I thought that I'd closed it and know full well it wasn't on the screen that my work was, I fear that she may have seen it and this is why;

This morning I received an email from my boss (she is working out of the office until Friday) with a written summary of our meeting the other day except there are things in there that we definately did not discuss all negative and all i feel exaggerated. She says that she is concerned about my interest in my role when I don't see how that can be true as I love my job and the field it is in and have been interested in a career in this area since I was a young teenager!!! She says that I seem to be taking breaks all over the place when it is not necessary even though I have quit smoking and don't take any breaks other than my lunch break...maybe a quick peak on here every now and again. She says that I am not proactive in my work and I do not communicate with her well, and that I forget work that I am supposed to have done meaning costly delays to the firm. Again I feel that all of this is untrue and I have never forgotten work. And if priority work has gone out late this is because she has not informed me that there is an urgent piece of dictation and I do not seek that one out and do that before anything else. I don't understand where all this has come from and I'm scared she's made up a bad review in writing so that she can sack me because I'm pregnant and she can find someone to replace me. I don't know what to do. I feel if my work is lacking it's because i'm so preoccupied fearing for my job.

Cant you refuse to sign the minutes and ask for proof of each of these suggestions (accusations)? Ask her directly why none of it was discussed in the meeting yet it was included in the minutes? Did you take notes - can you type up your own minutes and compare? Can you go above her head and complain that the statement she has sent is untrue or exaggerated?

Just my opinion

I think she has found out and is trying to cause problems for you already so she doesnt have to deal with a maternity situation (are you still on probation?)

Ask her for a meeting (make sure you have someone else there with you to witness it and minute it) and go through every point with her that you are not happy with and ask her to back up her allegations. I would also contact HR if I were you and if necessary have them attend the meeting.

Oh by the way my boss has also joked that I'm not allowed to get pregnant I'm toying with telling her now or after xmas

Unfortunately it sounds like she has cottoned onto something but employment law stipulates that she can't do anything about it but you really should speak to your HR department because it seems like she's trying to make your life difficult. I think she sounds like a bitch! Who the hell even jokes with an employee about not having a baby?!

id so tell her asap, when it is public hun if she then starts shit up she will be breaking the law, you will need to put in writing of your pregnancy signed and dated and make copies and hand it to her, then she will have to be very carefull in what she now does with regards to discrimination towards you, all you can do is take what she has said on board tell her you have done so and will rectify her concerns and do be the kind of employee she wants you to be. Also you need to take it higher, you need to express your concerns to someone over her head if there is anyone, tell them that you had left some personal info on your computer regarding your personal life and that you feel your boss has seen it as after your boss was significantly different towards you and has confussingly wrote things in your report that were never spoken about in the meeting. Just think of it like this - your boss and any1 above u are not real friends, this is business and they are business people, dont worry about judgemenets and what they will personally think of u because they dont care what u think of them that is how your boss even has the nerve to act like this and not hide it very well. You look after u, your own back and you remember its a business, you are paid from this job just like your boss is, ok less money but just as your boss you earn a living to live on, to put a roof over your head and to put food on the table. My ex boss tried to do it to me and she stated that my circumstances had changed blarr blarr blarrrr and i called her out on it and she shat herself and then took back what she was trying to do ...... Dont be affraid !!! u should only ever really be affraid of something which is REALLY REALLY scary like a gun, a bomb or a ghost lol ;-D

good luck, and be strong, i believe in you xxx

We don't have a HR department as it is a small company...only 5 people working in the office regularly one other that works part time as and when she needs to and a consultant that rarely works in the office.

I have the minutes and I am going to bring it up when she comes back and I have been here just over 3 months so not technically however I haven't signed my permanent contract. I'm so terrified. I can't lose this job!!! My parents would react so badly if I lost my job and then told them I was pregnant. So would OH's.

I have already written up my response to her minutes and will ask her why these were not mentioned in the actual meeting. I will also ask if somebody else can sit in on the next one as she wishes to review these things in 2 weeks time. I want to speak to her before because I think this is basically her saying that she is going to sack me in two weeks. I'm going to email her and ask her if I can have my permanent contract to sign when she comes back.

have u not sgned it because u have not recieved it or because u have forgot or put it off? because if u have forgot or put it off but got one then with a contract if not stated otherwise it is concidered signed after 1 month when it comes to employment, and my advice would be to contact the CAB (citizen advice) and also if u can afford it, contact a union which u can join for a monthly payment and do it now - like asap - and i stand firmly by my advice in telling her asap about your pregnancy because - seriously - if u leave it she can claim all these things in writting where b 4 she found out so cant be concidered discrimination towards pregnancy - also for a fair dismisal she has to follow proceedures by law as well, there are one verbal warning, and 2 written b 4 sacking can take place. So tell her quick,

Make sure there is a witness to every single conversation that you have about this. I wouldnt mention the contract thing until you speak to her about the other stuff. x

No i haven't got one my contract states "This post is subject to the completion of a 3 month probationary period. At the end of this period if your performance is of a satisfactory standard your appointment will be made permanent, and your wages will be reviewed. During this period, one weeks notice may be given by either party to terminate this contract."