Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Dec 15th, 2011, 21:43 PM   1
AshleyR
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 501

Prenatal depression?


Not sure if this is normal or not - but is anyone else not feeling overly excited about the baby yet?

I am 9 weeks today and it hasn't really set in yet. I guess it's because I haven't seen or felt the baby.... it doesn't really seem real yet and I'm not feeling a "connection" to the baby like I thought I would.

I am overjoyed that we are pregnant and we planned this baby for a long time, but I'm just not feeling all that "into it" yet.

I've also been really sick the past couple of weeks and whenever I think about the baby or baby things it makes me nauseous. I can't help what makes me sick lately (a random youtube video not pregnancy or food related that I keep seeing on facebook makes my stomach turn - it's so weird).... I just can't help it! I think I am associating the baby with the crappy way I've been feeling which is making me feel kinda depressed.

I thought I'd be excited to pick out names, start a blog, take weekly pics of my belly, etc. but I have not had the desire to do any of that yet.

I feel like we're pretty safe now as far as miscarriage goes - found out yesterday that baby is healthy and right on target. I thought at first that the reason I wasn't feeling attached to it was because I was worried we'd lose it, but I don't feel that so much now. When we were worried about possibly losing it, DH was very upset by the thought but I wasn't as upset as he was. I had a very laid back feeling about it. I would have been sad to lose the pregnancy but I don't feel like I "know" this baby enough yet to feel sad about IT.

I hear and read people saying all the time that they "love their little bean already!" and I don't feel that way yet. I feel really guilty for admitting this (REALLY guilty) but it's the truth! I even feel like I am jinxing things by even writing this right now...

I'm in a very stable, happy relationship and have been married for 3 years. We have planned this baby and both really want it - I have no idea why I'm feeling this way!

Anyone else??



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 15th, 2011, 21:52 PM   2
Rosered52
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,468
Aw, I'm sorry. When will you finally get to see the lo?

I think what you're experiencing is within the normal range of pregnant human emotion. You have plenty of time to get nest-y and bond with your baby in the second and third trimesters. Just take good care of yourself right now and look forward to the end of ms.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 15th, 2011, 22:13 PM   3
SnowGal
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Sask
Posts: 324
I'm 12 weeks, and have heard the heart beat, but still feel a bit like this. I have no desire to tell anyone and be congradulated. Maybe when I get a bump it wil lbe more real?



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 15th, 2011, 22:20 PM   4
kissesandhugs
Trying to conceive (TTC)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Michigan,US
Posts: 5,603
I'm in the same boat. I get that nauseous feeling when I think about the baby and how our lives will change. Ours too was planned. But we don't know if the baby will be okay until Monday so maybe that's why? But, I've just been feeling depressed and down as well about all this and have no idea why Not a fun feeling.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 00:28 AM   5
Ash0619
 
Posts: n/a
I have it, too. I'm starting to feel ill, I think I'm still worried about bean, and I'm just not attached yet. I think I'm scared to get attached....this is what I wrote in my journal yesterday:

Part of me isn't attached to my little bean yet....that sounds horrible to say....but after the bleeding scare I had, I'm so worried that my body is going through these motions only for me to find out things are not 100% okay when I go in for my scan. I'm scared to be happy and enjoy this....my scan is 3 weeks away, I just want to hear the HB and see my LO on a monitor......and be told by a doctor that everything is okay. Sorry about these worries, etc. but first tri is a much scarier place than I previously thought it would be...

Anyway, I've been feeling like terrible person for feeling this way but I just can't seem to shake it. DH was really upset with the bleeding scare I had early on and seems to be feeling all this more than I am. They say the mom becomes a mom when she finds out shes pg and the dad becomes a dad when he sees the baby. It's been the opposite in my family...



 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 00:54 AM   6
tu123
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: London
Posts: 6,655
Hi hunny.
What you are feeling is normal. I think it changes (well it did with my daughter) when you start to feel movement and arms and legs poke out your tummy:-)

Also, your body is having a huge overdose of HCG and progesterone at the moment-progesterone is usually the culprit for PMS mood swings. It may just take a little longer for things to settle.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 03:53 AM   7
kat2504
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Northamptonshire, UK
Posts: 5,325
Pregnancy is 40 weeks for a good reason! It gives you nine months to physically and emotionally get used to the idea of having a baby. It doesn't happen overnight as soon as you pee on a stick. You don't bond with the unborn baby fully just like that, it will happen over time, starting with when you see scan pictures, when you hear a heartbeat, when you see a little bump coming, when you feel the first movements. It will get more and more until your baby is finally here for you to get to know in the flesh. It is totally normal for it to not feel quite "real" yet at 9 weeks, I felt that way too and my baby is very long awaited and very much planned. I was excited but scared about being pregnant, but didn't really connect with it as a "baby" just yet, until I had seen the 12 week scan. I'd even had early scans, but they don't look very baby-like.

You have got plenty of time to do the things you want to get excited about. you still have 31 weeks to go. Don't give yourself a hard time about not being ready to do it all right away.



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 03:56 AM   8
kat2504
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Northamptonshire, UK
Posts: 5,325
Sorry I forgot to add that there is such a thing as prenatal depression and it can affect up to 10% of women, which is quite a lot. So if you do have symptoms of depression talk about it with your doctor so you can get some support. However, what you describe sounds quite normal to me though. If you are struggling with things like not sleeping at night, feeling very very weepy more than just hormonal, little interest in doing things you enjoy, feeling very down, then don't be afraid to ask for help with it, as it is a common pregnancy problem.



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 03:57 AM   9
ShannonAreki
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 353
Wait till you have your first scan! You will fall in love!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 16th, 2011, 04:51 AM   10
mandwrx
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 651
I too feel nauseous when I think about the baby or baby things. I force myself to walk through the baby department in stores and look at cute things but it just makes my stomach turn and I feel overwhelmed. It's like I have a mental block concerning the baby and all the changes going on in my life. I know it will be better later when I can feel the baby moving. This is my 3rd so I know pregnancy does weird things to my mind!



 
Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO