Ok so I know this may sound bad, and I don't want you ladies thinking I'm not a nice person and judging me, but something has been bugging me in this pregnancy and I need to talk about it. So I have three kids already. A five year old and 20 month old twins. Both pregnancies were planned and very ,uh wanted. Even when I found out that 2nd pregnancy was twins, once the shock died down I was over the moon. From the moment I got my BFP (very early on in all pregnancies) I felt immensely protective over the bean, love and a bond. I felt excited. It felt real. Even though the day I got my BFP with the twins, me and OH had had a huge bust up and I had left him (only to return when I found out I was pregnant) even that didn't taint the pregnancy or the excitement.

This pregnancy wasn't planned. It came as a big of a shock. I have always said I wanted to try again for another baby (I wanted to try for a girl) I wasn't planning on TCC till the twins were three and at nursery. So yes, this was a surprise. I would never get rid of a baby, nr do I wish I wasn't pregnant, BUT I just don't feel the excitement, or that immediate love or that bond for this bean. It doesn't feel real. I'm constantly worried that something is wrong. I keep thinking that at my scan they'll tell me that baby has no heartbeat. And I'm just not happy this time round. I don't know if the fact that I feel like something is wrong is what is holding me back from bonding with this bean. I guess deep down I'm thinking if I don't get too attached I won't be hurt if something does go wrong. But I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Is this normal. Or is some thing wrong with me? I'm worried if I keep feeling like this i'll end up with PND....

hugs. I totally understand. I've not got the same bond with this baby as I did with ds. We were NTNP but didn't expect to get pregnant so quickly and I am totally not ready. DS will only be 14/5 months old when this LO is born. I know that I'll love baby when it's born but I'm struggling to be excited about being pregnant.

I can't get excited about this pregnancy either cause I'm so scared something is wrong, We asked God for this baby but with a previous miscarriage I'm very scared.

The could be something between planned and unplanned?

when i got pregnant with my son, i didn't feel attached to him until the third trimester, he wasn't a planned baby and I was happy with my life how it was at that time, when the pregnancy happened i was worried about work and how id manage and it just didn't fit in, but when i felt him move around and knew he would be about soon i bonded with bump!

This time i've planned the pregnancy and was expecting it so baby was loved before the test turned pink, i was planning and hoping for this baby so my feelings where different when it happened

doesn't mean ill love either child more, just means i reacted differently to both !

hope you feel better soon x

I think I'm also worried about how I'll cope when the baby comes along. The twins will only be 2 years 3 months old and they are demanding little monkeys. They are still not sleeping through the night and one is very very clingy to me, so having two toddlers and a newborn to look after scares me! Thankfully my eldest is pretty independent and very helpful but still...

I'm about 12 weeks so far and I still can't see this as a baby, much less MY baby. It's more like a science project that I'm incubating. to you.

I think the key difference is the planning. Give it some time, once you've had some time to feel movement and had a chance to bond you'll maybe feel better. If not there's help you can get while pregnant.

My son will be 26 months when this LO is born and although this one was planned, I thought it would take longer and I'm a little nervous about the age gap.

I am the same, I even keep forgeting Im pregnant. I always said I wanted 3 and I have 2 boys which are now both at primary school. I just dont feel as excited even tho I really want this baby Im finding hard picturing me with 3 dont think it has sunken in, I keep getting emotional and crying. I keep thinking something will happen. I had previous m/c and bled few times this time Inc last night but I alreay was having a clinic apt this morn all was ok.

I also have 2 boys and everyone keeps saying Oh I hope its a girl for you, That just makes me feel worst because I dont want to find out the sex at the scan so If i have another boy, I can hear everyones reaction 'awww' feeling slighty under pressure for a girl now, however much I would love a girl I just want a happy healthy baby.

Hope I start to pick up soon x

I know what you mean about the gender thing. Yes I'd love a little girl, but I just want a healthy baby. I think other family members ( my mum in particular ) will be dissapointed if it's a boy so I too feel the pressure. I don't want to hear people comments if I find out its a boy. Hope you feel better soon. X

Thank you just a bad day I suppose,

I know what you mean all our family keeping saying it, Oh are you trying for a girl this time? Feel like screaming NO an alien oh I mean a baby!! Lol

Fingers crossed for you too hope it all feels better soon xxx