First Ultrasound Yesterday, So Stressed. Rant.

melissalynn · Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:44 AM

Well, I had my first ultrasound yesterday and the baby is perfect... but when they dated it they changed my due date. Which means the day I thought I conceived changed as well.

The problem arises here... originally I thought the baby was my ex-boyfriend's, but after the ultrasound I am not sure if it is my ex's or the new guy's.
According to my due date I should have conceived around January 27th but I was with neither of them at the time. My ex and I broke up on the 17th (we hadn't done the deed since the beginning of the month) and the new guy and I didn't get together until the 5th of February.

I am so ashamed, these things aren't supposed to happen, pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time. And now I am embarrassed and feel so alone.

Does anyone have any advice?

Finallytrying · Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:49 AM

I don't really have any advice I would just talk to your dr about when they think your conception date is, my baby is reading exactly to the day of ovulation so how far along did they dr say your baby was

Scuba · Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:57 AM

Well if the date drs say you would have conceived on is when you weren't sexually involved with anyone, surely they're wrong?! Maybe the baby was measuring slightly off for your dates but will level out by 20 week scan?xx

1eighty · Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:04 AM

Scuba sounds on the money here.

Getting into the nitty gritty, sperm can't live past 5 days once ejaculated, and the doc's estimated date of conception is 10 days after you DTD with your ex. Rules him out. Their EDC also strikes *before* you DTD with Mr. New, so that rules him out too. I think you'll just have to wait until a later scan to see how far along you are and see if their estimations change according to how your LO is growing.

Best of luck with the wait - I know that's the most anxious part.

Creative · Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:09 AM

quite clearly the ultra sound date does not allow for either of the men in your life to be the father and one of them is, so all you can do is wait until your 20 week scan for a more accurate measurement.

mum2b2010 · Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:14 AM

Dont be embarassed. Your baby is healthy and thats the main thing. Whats done is done and stressing wont help you or your baby.

Now lets see can we help you? When was first day of your last period? Do you have regular cycles and how long are they? What is your new due date as per the doctor?

SleepyBaby · Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:25 AM

nothing to be ashamed about as things like this do happen and you are thinking about who's the father rather than picking the one you like most and saying he is!

Either the 20 week scan or a DNA test when baby's born will help you to see who the father is.

If i was you id honest with both men.

keep your chin up

maidelyn · Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:34 AM

Ignore the scan date, if your baby has grown right at the top of the range then a week's difference is nothing. They quote your date on the average, at 8 weeks (when I had my first scan) the average was +/- 4 days so by 12 weeks the margin of error must be at least a week!
If you didn't have sex with your ex for a month (roughly) before that then it's very unlikely to be his - the chance of being 4-5wks out on the scan is much more unlikely.

Nurse1980 · Apr 3rd, 2012, 12:47 PM

Don't be embarrassed.

From my 12 week scan I was brought forward two days before we had sex. So I wouldn't take that as too precise.

Can you not get a DNA/paternity before the baby is born? Sorry if this is a silly thing to say.

taylorxx · Apr 3rd, 2012, 13:00 PM

Nothing to be ashamed about love!

To me, it sounds like the new guy is the father. The baby could be measuring big. Sperm only lives for at most 5-7 days (which is rare), so I really doubt your ex is the father unless baby is measuring a lot smaller. xx

Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:44 AM	#1
melissalynn Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 72	First Ultrasound Yesterday, So Stressed. Rant. Well, I had my first ultrasound yesterday and the baby is perfect... but when they dated it they changed my due date. Which means the day I thought I conceived changed as well. The problem arises here... originally I thought the baby was my ex-boyfriend's, but after the ultrasound I am not sure if it is my ex's or the new guy's. According to my due date I should have conceived around January 27th but I was with neither of them at the time. My ex and I broke up on the 17th (we hadn't done the deed since the beginning of the month) and the new guy and I didn't get together until the 5th of February. I am so ashamed, these things aren't supposed to happen, pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time. And now I am embarrassed and feel so alone. Does anyone have any advice?

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:49 AM	#2
Finallytrying Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 260	I don't really have any advice I would just talk to your dr about when they think your conception date is, my baby is reading exactly to the day of ovulation so how far along did they dr say your baby was

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:57 AM	#3
Scuba Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Essex, UK Posts: 1,908	Well if the date drs say you would have conceived on is when you weren't sexually involved with anyone, surely they're wrong?! Maybe the baby was measuring slightly off for your dates but will level out by 20 week scan?xx

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:04 AM	#4
1eighty Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Bonnie Scotland Posts: 1,453	Scuba sounds on the money here. Getting into the nitty gritty, sperm can't live past 5 days once ejaculated, and the doc's estimated date of conception is 10 days after you DTD with your ex. Rules him out. Their EDC also strikes before you DTD with Mr. New, so that rules him out too. I think you'll just have to wait until a later scan to see how far along you are and see if their estimations change according to how your LO is growing. Best of luck with the wait - I know that's the most anxious part.

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:09 AM	#5
Creative Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: East Yorkshire Posts: 1,234	quite clearly the ultra sound date does not allow for either of the men in your life to be the father and one of them is, so all you can do is wait until your 20 week scan for a more accurate measurement.

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:14 AM	#6
mum2b2010 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 37	Dont be embarassed. Your baby is healthy and thats the main thing. Whats done is done and stressing wont help you or your baby. Now lets see can we help you? When was first day of your last period? Do you have regular cycles and how long are they? What is your new due date as per the doctor?

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:25 AM	#7
SleepyBaby Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 1,712	nothing to be ashamed about as things like this do happen and you are thinking about who's the father rather than picking the one you like most and saying he is! Either the 20 week scan or a DNA test when baby's born will help you to see who the father is. If i was you id honest with both men. keep your chin up

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:34 AM	#8
maidelyn Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Bury St Edmunds, UK Posts: 864	Ignore the scan date, if your baby has grown right at the top of the range then a week's difference is nothing. They quote your date on the average, at 8 weeks (when I had my first scan) the average was +/- 4 days so by 12 weeks the margin of error must be at least a week! If you didn't have sex with your ex for a month (roughly) before that then it's very unlikely to be his - the chance of being 4-5wks out on the scan is much more unlikely.

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 12:47 PM	#9
Nurse1980 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Greater Manchester Posts: 448	Don't be embarrassed. From my 12 week scan I was brought forward two days before we had sex. So I wouldn't take that as too precise. Can you not get a DNA/paternity before the baby is born? Sorry if this is a silly thing to say.

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 13:00 PM	#10
taylorxx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: US Posts: 5,312	Nothing to be ashamed about love! To me, it sounds like the new guy is the father. The baby could be measuring big. Sperm only lives for at most 5-7 days (which is rare), so I really doubt your ex is the father unless baby is measuring a lot smaller. xx

Status: Offline

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