Hi Ladies

I need your opinions on whether or not I'm being unreasonable . Im really annoyed and hormonal at the moment , and crying over the smallest thing so I dont know if Im over-reacting .

When I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks I made an appointment to see the midwife like youre supposed to . I had a 3 week wait as no appointments were available , I finally got an appointment last week on Wednesday 28th March.

I booked a day off work , as a half day wouldnt leave me enough time to get to the appointment , have lunch and get back to work , I have an hours journey both ways .

Anyway I saw a midwife who said she wasnt the usual midwife for the area and was covering for someone. I thought ok fair enough , then she proceeded to take my name , address , date of LMP, weighed me and that was it .

I was given no paperwork nothing from her at all . I thought that appointment would have been my booking in appointment - but oh no. The other midwife would be calling me to arrange a booking in appointment at my home.

I left there feeling like it was a waste of time , and a waste of my holiday allowance from work!

Its been over a week and I've still not had a phonecall from the midwife for a booking in appointment . I mentioned that I'm in a new job (same company new department) and my line manager would need a weeks notice of any holiday.

My boss is also due to go on holiday herself for a week and half and she wont be there to authorise my holiday. I could ask her boss (who heads the department) if I had to whilst shes away , but I would rather not as Ive been in this job less than a month.

Other girls Ive spoken to have recieved scan letters off the back of this appointment , but I havent recieved anything . I was told that I wouldnt be getting a scan appointment until I've had a booking in appointment as the hospital needs my nhs number to get the paperwork arranged, which apparently is normal.

I rang the doctors today , and they gave me the number for maternity, who gave me the midwifes mobile number . It goes straight to voicemail and she is only available 3 days next week.

Im so annoyed that I havent been contacted , how hard is it to make a phonecall , it would have taken less than 10 seconds .

The lady on maternity reception said that apparently it could take up to 2 weeks for the midwife to contact me if shes busy, but I dont think thats acceptable. I already told them that I need at least a weeks notice before I can take time off , and my boss might not be around to authorise my time off .

I cant tell work Im pregnant until Ive had the 12 week scan , Ive had a miscarriage in December at 5 weeks , and a missed miscarriage where my baby died at 7 weeks , but I didnt find out until I was 13 weeks when I went for a scan.

I just wanted to have my booking in appointment and my scan dates so I can have the time booked off work .

Im annoyed that Ive already had to waste 1 day at the pointless appointment for no reason. Apparently the delay could also be because my details havent been passed on to the relevant midwife - how pathetic is that . It might mean my holiday was ACTUALLY pointlessly wasted .

I work in a dump , and Im the mainearner. My work only provides the statutory minimum mat. leave ie 90% for 6 weeks , then the statutory minimum for the rest of the time , so I need my holiday to add on to the beggining of my maternity leave .

If the midwives are so busy then why is the midwife for my area only available 3 days a week , and why do home visits at all.
Why waste time travelling to and from patient to patient , not to mention the expense when the NHS is apparently in trouble .
It would save time and the money if the patients visited the midwives at the GPs or where-ever as of course they would be recieving a car/ petrol allowance , that could be put towards another office based midwife!!


Im thinking of making a formal complaint on Tuesday - am I being an emotional nutter?

I didn't get to read your entire story; however you are NOT overreacting. Its completely unacceptable for her to take that long to get back to you. Do you even want a midwife who you can't get ahold of? What if there is an emergency? You go into labor and she is no where to be found? File a complaint and select another caregiver!

You aren't being unreasonable as they are messing you around unfairly.

However, your boss does not have the choice about giving you time off for antenatal appointments. It's the law, they have to give you paid time off to attend them. I do understand your reasons for not wanting to tell yet though.

Phone the hospital and ask for the contact details for the supervisor of midwives. then make a complaint about your treatment so far.

First of all...Oh my goodness that kitty is so CUTE. Second i would be very annoyed at this woman and look for another one because if she is this hard to get ahold of for a simple appointment what is she going to be like later on? "Sorry i missed your labor phone was shut off." Not very reliable at all.

I had the same type of pre booking in appointment as you, with a covering midwife as mine was on holiday. I received my scan date through the post about 10 days later, so maybe yours will arrive in a few days.

I had my first appointment on a Tuesday and was called the following Thursday to schedule my booking in appointment for next week.

I understand why you are frustrated, but I don't think there is much to complain about in all honesty as midwife services are really stretched atm. Having said that, I was also suprised that they do home visits.

I hope everything gets sorted for you soon x

Thank you for your replies , sorry for the long rant , Im just so annoyed .
These days I cant even tell If Im over reacting anymore . I'm a nightmare snapping at the slightest thing

LOL - Thank you! Your kitty is cute as well! That picture was of Mittens or Mitsy as she likes to be called! When she was a kitten , shes 2 years old now .

I understand your frustration, however there is a very good reason why they visit women at home. They need to see how you live, that you dont live in squaler (sp). That you have a safe home for your baby and a healthy environment. It can also give them an insight into your relationship with your partner and help women in abusive relationships be identified. Its so they can see whether you need any help and assistance, not to waste time. Also, I the uk it is actually quite rare to only see one midwife the whole way through and be delivered by her. She will probably spend some time on the labour ward and therefore can't be at everyones beck and call. In an emergency you would call hospital so it's not really a problem that she only works in the community or has clinics only 3 days a week.
It's frustrating about your work situation, but they will see alot of women every day and probably don't have the time/resources to plan around everyones schedules.
I come from a medical family so have an insight into the workings. I hope this might help explain. Though I understand this may not be the case.

I agree with this, also take into account that surgeries will now be closed until Tuesday and post will be delayed because of bank holiday.
It's very rare you will have the same midwife throughout and generally they don't tend to be the one that deals with you in labour.
If you can't get hold of her and it's an emergency (bleeding etc) then that's also what labour ward is for