Why do people have to ask "were you trying?" - Page 2

Mindy_mini · Apr 18th, 2012, 00:56 AM

Ahh that old chestnut.

The reason why people think they have the right to ask is now you're pregnant, you are public property! People think they have the right to know everything about you and your body becomes public property and they have the right o man handle you when ever they want.....

In otherwords people forget what's acceptable and what's not and become rude!

Daisy_bear · Apr 18th, 2012, 01:11 AM

I am in the same position because I am not married and a teacher in a catholic school. Even although a lot of the parents r unmarried or separated I was so nervous before telling my head teacher. She asked if my family approved because I'm not married! I'm scared about telling some others in work So hiding it till my 12 week scan and maybe longer if I can.

geordielass21 · Apr 18th, 2012, 01:16 AM

Had to pop over and make a comment. :-)
When we told my husbands family his parents asked "and is Amanda happy with it?" and my husband had to say "of course - it was a planned baby". LOL

However I know some people who apparently "arent trying" - and say they "arent trying".... that makes me laugh.

a good friend of mine wasnt trying when she got pregnant (in fact she was quite shocked by it) however she wasnt using contraception - in my opinion we are old enough to know if you dont use contraception you can get pregnant so if you arent using anything with your regular partner then you are trying :-)

Tallulah28 · Apr 18th, 2012, 01:31 AM

My OHs MUM asked him if this was a "shock for him" to which i replied "actually, no, we had actually been trying since last year!"

I was stunned because she was basically trying to say that id done all this in secret! :-o

She has a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome 99.9% of the time so i cant say i was suprised.

She followed it up a day later with the classic "well, neither of you had mentioned that you had ever wanted children, thats why i was suprised".

Next time.i'll remember to fly a flag from the roof of my house of put it in the sky in writing with a plane. Doh!

samj732 · Apr 18th, 2012, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phineas

Lol I would love to say this specially cause no 1 is 7 so we waited a long time before even trying!

I'm not looking forward to this question or people presuming its a bad accident....I'm 200% loving this but cause I'll be 33 weeks at my sisters wedding it'll be looked down upon

I don't think TTC should have to be put on hold because of a wedding. So what if you'll be pregnant? I wish people would keep their noses on their face instead of everyone else's business.

I'll have a 4 month old when I get married, not quite the same thing but I'm sure people will be disapproving of that also.

However, I do not think that people should announce their pregnancies at a family member's wedding, that's just tacky. My OH wanted to announce to his family at his cousin's wedding, and I said hell no. We will be waiting until after the wedding to tell everyone. I do not think it's fair to take away from the bride's day, and I would be furious if someone did that to me. I will be 9 weeks that day, so nobody will be the wiser especially since I will (obviously) be the designated driver.

Veronicaco · Apr 18th, 2012, 01:48 AM

The only person rude enough to say this would be my mil, but I guess that would be a reflection of her opinion of me. We have been together for eight years and married a year ago although we started trying before we were married cos.... Why the hell not lol. I genuinely believe that people are jealous if they ask questions like that and I for one would never be rude enough to ask anyone that question. I guess after having a hard time ttc and some losses I have realised that every healthy pregnancy is magical regardless of whether conception was intended or not. If someone asks that question ask them if their parents intended to conceive them, if they say yes say 'ahhhh wrong decision' if they say no say 'figures' lol. X

fumbles · Apr 18th, 2012, 02:11 AM

People really have the nerve to say that!!? Wow! We haven't told anyone yet, now I'm going to have to perfect my response!

I just can't believe someone would ask that! I mean how do you know the couple weren't trying for years and it's been a really difficult conception! Keep your nose out people!

pinkribbon · Apr 18th, 2012, 02:37 AM

That question makes me uncomfortable too, especially if it's from a stranger!!

lookin4bump · Apr 18th, 2012, 03:38 AM

I have found that since announcing our news people do actually ask the most personal questions! It's like everything has changed since you mention you are having a baby. "Were you trying?" "did it take long?" "when did you stop using protection?" ... Urm ... It's none of your business!!!!
The particular one that shocked me was "was it planned?are you happy?" I have not been so dumbfounded in my life!

X x

Deethehippy · Apr 18th, 2012, 03:47 AM

I had to laugh at what you put - it's not funny but so true!
When i was in my 20's people assumed it was always a mistake - i'm hoping when i announce this one (in my 30's) they will think otherwise??
I think it's just noseyness and fuel for gossip for some people

Apr 18th, 2012, 00:56 AM	#11
Mindy_mini Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 2,080	Ahh that old chestnut. The reason why people think they have the right to ask is now you're pregnant, you are public property! People think they have the right to know everything about you and your body becomes public property and they have the right o man handle you when ever they want..... In otherwords people forget what's acceptable and what's not and become rude!

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 01:11 AM	#12
Daisy_bear Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 210	I am in the same position because I am not married and a teacher in a catholic school. Even although a lot of the parents r unmarried or separated I was so nervous before telling my head teacher. She asked if my family approved because I'm not married! I'm scared about telling some others in work So hiding it till my 12 week scan and maybe longer if I can.

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 01:16 AM	#13
geordielass21 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 329	Had to pop over and make a comment. :-) When we told my husbands family his parents asked "and is Amanda happy with it?" and my husband had to say "of course - it was a planned baby". LOL However I know some people who apparently "arent trying" - and say they "arent trying".... that makes me laugh. a good friend of mine wasnt trying when she got pregnant (in fact she was quite shocked by it) however she wasnt using contraception - in my opinion we are old enough to know if you dont use contraception you can get pregnant so if you arent using anything with your regular partner then you are trying :-)

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 01:31 AM	#14
Tallulah28 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Worcester, UK Posts: 1,003	My OHs MUM asked him if this was a "shock for him" to which i replied "actually, no, we had actually been trying since last year!" I was stunned because she was basically trying to say that id done all this in secret! :-o She has a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome 99.9% of the time so i cant say i was suprised. She followed it up a day later with the classic "well, neither of you had mentioned that you had ever wanted children, thats why i was suprised". Next time.i'll remember to fly a flag from the roof of my house of put it in the sky in writing with a plane. Doh!

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 01:48 AM	#16
Veronicaco Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: UK - South west Posts: 860	The only person rude enough to say this would be my mil, but I guess that would be a reflection of her opinion of me. We have been together for eight years and married a year ago although we started trying before we were married cos.... Why the hell not lol. I genuinely believe that people are jealous if they ask questions like that and I for one would never be rude enough to ask anyone that question. I guess after having a hard time ttc and some losses I have realised that every healthy pregnancy is magical regardless of whether conception was intended or not. If someone asks that question ask them if their parents intended to conceive them, if they say yes say 'ahhhh wrong decision' if they say no say 'figures' lol. X

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 02:11 AM	#17
fumbles Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: UK Posts: 459	People really have the nerve to say that!!? Wow! We haven't told anyone yet, now I'm going to have to perfect my response! I just can't believe someone would ask that! I mean how do you know the couple weren't trying for years and it's been a really difficult conception! Keep your nose out people!

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 02:37 AM	#18
pinkribbon Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK. Posts: 4,274	That question makes me uncomfortable too, especially if it's from a stranger!!

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 03:38 AM	#19
lookin4bump Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Liverpool Posts: 340	I have found that since announcing our news people do actually ask the most personal questions! It's like everything has changed since you mention you are having a baby. "Were you trying?" "did it take long?" "when did you stop using protection?" ... Urm ... It's none of your business!!!! The particular one that shocked me was "was it planned?are you happy?" I have not been so dumbfounded in my life! X x

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 03:47 AM	#20
Deethehippy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Bucks, England, UK Posts: 8,476	I had to laugh at what you put - it's not funny but so true! When i was in my 20's people assumed it was always a mistake - i'm hoping when i announce this one (in my 30's) they will think otherwise?? I think it's just noseyness and fuel for gossip for some people

Status: Online

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