Why do people have to ask "were you trying?"

LemGirlCute · Apr 17th, 2012, 22:41 PM

I think it's so rude when a friend holds back a congratulations or follows up a congratulations with "you were trying, right?"

Regardless if it was an "oops" or not, people should hold their tongues and just say congratulations.

Why must they follow up with "you were trying to get pregnant, right?" or "this a good thing, right"?

I know the urge is strong, but people need to hold it back.

It's none of people's business, really.

Do they want to hear, "no, it was a horrible mistake. Please console me"?

It's incredibly rude.

Rizzo Rizzie · Apr 17th, 2012, 22:46 PM

Yep we got that. we also got "congrats...?" and this little gem.. "well i'd say congrats but you aren't married" really? who says that?

bexxc · Apr 17th, 2012, 22:49 PM

ew! what is wrong with people? we've only told very close family so far (and they were thrilled beyond words). so glad i have that to look forward to in a few weeks.

wishfulmom2b · Apr 17th, 2012, 22:59 PM

i never ever ask that question because whenever i hear people are trying or whatever i just picture them having tons of sex.. haha oh god, i swear i am 25 years old and not 15.

but to be serious.. its not cool to ask and i am glad no one asked us, i dont know what i would of said..

samj732 · Apr 17th, 2012, 23:38 PM

OMG, I hope someone asks me so I can just say "no, I didn't think unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy, contrary to popular belief"

But after it happens once, I'll be over it.

I'm going to get that a lot because like you Rizzo, we aren't married yet either. But really, it's 2012 and you don't have to be married to have a baby. I wish people would get over their old fashioned ideals and realize the world has changed a bit.

lindsinc · Apr 17th, 2012, 23:55 PM

Ah! This drives me crazy people still ask us this and OHs grandparents had the nerve to say well we thought you two knew what birth control was and are now pushing us to get married quicker. It sucks :/ I never thought us not being married would be this big of a deal I mean we were planning the wedding already but changed our date because I don't want to be 7 months pregnant when I get married and now everyones just telling us to go to the court house and do it. I can't stand it

katealim · Apr 18th, 2012, 00:00 AM

Nobody has asked me if we were trying but if they did I might be tempted to say hell no it was immaculate conception!

cheshire · Apr 18th, 2012, 00:31 AM

When you are expecting number 4, this is a question that will come thick and fast

I would so LOVE to say, 'trying what?' or 'No we haven't had sex in months, I have no idea how this happened!'

pink_rulez · Apr 18th, 2012, 00:39 AM

I'm glad no one has asked us because I don't really want to be discussing my sex life with close family members lol, I was always a bit freekd when people openly told me they were trying, lovely thought that they want me to be involved with there big plans but I'd rather not no what they plan to do when they get home lol x

phineas · Apr 18th, 2012, 00:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheshire

When you are expecting number 4, this is a question that will come thick and fast

I would so LOVE to say, 'trying what?' or 'No we haven't had sex in months, I have no idea how this happened!'

Lol I would love to say this specially cause no 1 is 7 so we waited a long time before even trying!

I'm not looking forward to this question or people presuming its a bad accident....I'm 200% loving this but cause I'll be 33 weeks at my sisters wedding it'll be looked down upon

Apr 17th, 2012, 22:41 PM	#1
LemGirlCute Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 148	Why do people have to ask "were you trying?" I think it's so rude when a friend holds back a congratulations or follows up a congratulations with "you were trying, right?" Regardless if it was an "oops" or not, people should hold their tongues and just say congratulations. Why must they follow up with "you were trying to get pregnant, right?" or "this a good thing, right"? I know the urge is strong, but people need to hold it back. It's none of people's business, really. Do they want to hear, "no, it was a horrible mistake. Please console me"? It's incredibly rude.

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Apr 17th, 2012, 22:46 PM	#2
Rizzo Rizzie Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Whiteman AFB, Missouri Posts: 148	Yep we got that. we also got "congrats...?" and this little gem.. "well i'd say congrats but you aren't married" really? who says that?

Status: Offline

Apr 17th, 2012, 22:49 PM	#3
bexxc Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: California Posts: 10,087	ew! what is wrong with people? we've only told very close family so far (and they were thrilled beyond words). so glad i have that to look forward to in a few weeks.

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Apr 17th, 2012, 22:59 PM	#4
wishfulmom2b Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: boston MA Posts: 1,399	i never ever ask that question because whenever i hear people are trying or whatever i just picture them having tons of sex.. haha oh god, i swear i am 25 years old and not 15. but to be serious.. its not cool to ask and i am glad no one asked us, i dont know what i would of said..

Status: Offline

Apr 17th, 2012, 23:38 PM	#5
samj732 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,436	OMG, I hope someone asks me so I can just say "no, I didn't think unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy, contrary to popular belief" But after it happens once, I'll be over it. I'm going to get that a lot because like you Rizzo, we aren't married yet either. But really, it's 2012 and you don't have to be married to have a baby. I wish people would get over their old fashioned ideals and realize the world has changed a bit.

Status: Offline

Apr 17th, 2012, 23:55 PM	#6
lindsinc Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Tennessee Posts: 147	Ah! This drives me crazy people still ask us this and OHs grandparents had the nerve to say well we thought you two knew what birth control was and are now pushing us to get married quicker. It sucks :/ I never thought us not being married would be this big of a deal I mean we were planning the wedding already but changed our date because I don't want to be 7 months pregnant when I get married and now everyones just telling us to go to the court house and do it. I can't stand it

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 00:00 AM	#7
katealim Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 677	Nobody has asked me if we were trying but if they did I might be tempted to say hell no it was immaculate conception!

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 00:31 AM	#8
cheshire Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,288	When you are expecting number 4, this is a question that will come thick and fast I would so LOVE to say, 'trying what?' or 'No we haven't had sex in months, I have no idea how this happened!'

Status: Offline

Apr 18th, 2012, 00:39 AM	#9
pink_rulez Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Bristol,UK Posts: 1,762	I'm glad no one has asked us because I don't really want to be discussing my sex life with close family members lol, I was always a bit freekd when people openly told me they were trying, lovely thought that they want me to be involved with there big plans but I'd rather not no what they plan to do when they get home lol x

Status: Offline

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