Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old May 8th, 2012, 22:10 PM   1
hello_kitty
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,440

Question to all the soon-to-be mothers who married at a young age?


Did you ever regret getting married at a young age...like ever? I'm happy most of the time, but sometimes when I see friends my age go on an adventure or is living a carefree life, I get kinda depressed...especially now that I'm pregnant. Sometimes, I have the thought "Oh great, not only am I a young wife, I am now a young mother". I know this is really what I want, but sometimes elder people in my family, especially my mom, tries to play the guilt trip on me. Like pointing out what people my age are doing and I'm not. Of course, I always argue back with her about this matter. I'm a straightforward person and I share my feelings with my husband. He tells me nothing changes now or in the future. I can do whatever I want. Hang out with friends, go to parties. I've always been a homebody and have rarely been to parties...but its just this feeling of obligation that sometimes pins me down. Does anyone ever have this feeling? Sorry for the long post, I just had to vent.



Status: Offline
 
Old May 8th, 2012, 22:21 PM   2
Betheney
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,705
how young is a young to be married?

I met my husband at 16 and i married him at 22.

I never feel the way that you do, i hate travelling and partying. I find spending time with my husband and daughter a hell of a lot more enjoyable than all the crap my friends are doing.

But all i've ever wanted is to be a young wife and mum so to me i'm living a dream. lol

It's ok to want something different to everyone else or the same as everyone else, just do what makes you happy.

I always got shit for wanting kids early and marriage early but i used to say the same things to everyone "But i don't want to travel... i hate partying... why would i throw away the love of my life because i haven't been single enough?... i'm not going to sit around twiddling my thumbs until i'm at an age appropriate to everyone else to get married."



Status: Offline
 
Old May 8th, 2012, 22:31 PM   3
ttc1soon
Other
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,692
I am not currently pregnant but have been twice in the last six months and will soon be trying again. I met my husband at 15 and got married at 19. I understand the feeling sometimes of seeing people dating and stuff and I think "hm, am I missing out on something?" but then I see my loving adoring husband and the doubt always goes away. When I got pregnant the first time I was excited but confused about it because I was planning on waiting and I didn't want to miss out on anything but shortly after finding out I wanted that baby so badly, after I suffered from a miscarriage I wanted to try again so badly, and again this time. I think it is normal to question sometimes but only if the doubt goes away after being with your other half.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 03:57 AM   4
Cheryl202
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 191
My OH and I are not yet married. We have been together for almost 3 years but always have known that a future with marriage and kids was what we both wanted. I never feel like I've missed out,I'm 23 just now,but it is my friends that seem to have an issue with me being settled and not out clubbing every weekend,they also don't understand the pressure of living in your own flat with bills and things to pay. I guess it's normal to doubt your life,especially when it is now due to change again,but just remember the grass isnt always greener on the other side. This is the way you've chosen to live your life and I fully believe if you lived it a different way, you'd always yearn for the life you have now iykwim?xxz



Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 04:13 AM   5
daddiesgift
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,751
Your not alone, though I got married at 21 and have no regrets I do have a best friend who got married at 18 and has the same feelings you do. My husband was 18 (13 days before he was 19) when we got married. I never even dated someone younger than me and sometimes I worry if he will feel like this one day.

I lived on my own since I was 15 so I had long term relationships, I had plenty of time to party, do foolish things, go to school, quit jobs on a whim, move all over the place ect. It was carefree but I feel I got that out of my system and have no desire to party and have one night stands ect. My husband had slept with many women but never dated one longer than a month, I was the first he slept in a bed with over night. He did party a lot though. I ask him often if he feels like us getting married at that age, and having a baby at 22 (23 this time) makes him feel like he is missing out and he does not feel that way.

So sometimes I dont think its age that makes you regret its life experiences you feel you missed out on. Believe me tho this is waaay better than any dance club, hot boyfriend, or traveling I could ever imagine.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 05:57 AM   6
2016
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 9,488
I met DH just before I turned 21 and we married a year later! 10 years this month. Never regretted getting married and we have had plenty of adventures together. I am a bit glad we waited to have kids though but doubt I would regret having them earlier.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 07:03 AM   7
Betheney
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,705
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2016 View Post
I met DH just before I turned 21 and we married a year later! 10 years this month. Never regretted getting married and we have had plenty of adventures together. I am a bit glad we waited to have kids though but doubt I would regret having them earlier.
haha you sound like me and hubby we frequently discuss our adventures. lol.



Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 07:05 AM   8
keepholdingon
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,902
Some of my friends reactions were really quite surprising to me when I got engaged at 24. I wasn't very young but in the grand scheme of things I'd consider myself on the younger side. I got married at 25, 2 months shy of 26. Some of my friends were like "YOU'RE SO YOUNG!!!" True, compared to a 90 year old I am, but I had been with my now husband almost 4 years by the time we got married! I kept trying to explain to them it was the natural progression of things - we weren't breaking up and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Our families were like, SUPER excited but some of my friends were weird about it. I think they were, honestly, upset at how it changed THEIR life instead of thinking about how it changed mine. I didn't go out drinking as much, I wasn't interested in huge parties, I obviously wasn't out trolling for guys, etc. They learned to STFU though

Now, at 27, we'll be welcoming our first in November and I'm sure from some of my friends, who are still unsure what they want to do with their life and wondering why they can't find or keep a boyfriend, will be like OMG YOU'RE SO YOUNG!!! But the truth is, in the US the average age for a first child is 25. I'll be almost 28. Hubby and I will have been together almost 6 years. I am amazed at how much some people think they can just say whatever they want, when they want!!!

(I'm making my friends sound horrible, but I promise they're not, lol)



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 07:11 AM   9
beautifuloaks
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 568
I met my husband at 14 and married at 18, every now and then I catch myself thinking about my friends having fun but I don't enjoy going out, partying, being carefree. I like responsibility. I've never likied going out or doing those things, so its differant for me.

Like my sister she's 27 and WILD, does what she wants, when she wants, where she wants and with who she wants....I look at her life....and I DO NOT WANT THAT LIFE!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 9th, 2012, 07:39 AM   10
dubjaykay
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 76
I met my husband at 20 and married him at 23. I was never one for the partying or things like that. My husband is 9 years older than I am and he got all his partying days out of his system. Sometimes he wants to have some beers and hang with friends but they are also all married too. So it is possible to still have fun and party it just might be with people who are in the same situation as you are. At least they understand when you say you need to call it an early night cause you have to get the baby home.


I don't mean driving with the baby in the car after a few beers.. I'm always the DD!!



Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO