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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 08:59 AM   1041
SierraJourney
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Oh Kellen! I'm surprised your DH isn't saying no to this by himself! My DH won't even let us drive 4 hours for the holidays because I'll be so pregnant! We're even thinking of trying to get his family to come to our house for Christmas to avoid driving 2.5 hours!

Could you invite them to your house? Just explain to DH that all of the research says that you shouldn't be in a car for that long---and if you are, you have to stop like every hour in order to stretch while you are pregnant! Tell him you are concerned for the baby since it can't be good to have the blood flow restricted for that long while you're sitting down. Plus, I went for a 6 hour car ride a few weeks ago and I ACHED. Even with stopping, I couldn't get comfortable. It just wouldn't be pleasant. AND, the smoke is not good for you or for the baby---surely you can explain that to him? And you wouldn't get much sleep on an air mattress on a cement floor---and you'll need your rest for labor and for when the baby is here. I would really just focus on how you would "really like to go, but this is probably best for baby if we stay home". Tell him he can invite them to your house. . . or maybe meet halfway at a hotel or something for an evening?

That's really tough, but he should understand. If all else fails, tell him you can postpone the trip until after the baby is born---and wouldn't his family like to see the new baby?

Let us know how it goes!!



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:04 AM   1042
Kellen
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Unfortunately his family pleads poverty. They think we are wealthy (hahaha! ) I have suggested that, but he doesn't seem to understand. His mother has an unhealthy pull on him. She is very good at the guilt game: "All of your siblings will be here. How can I leave my grandchildren?" (She is currently raising 3 grandkids and taking care of DH's sister who broke her neck a couple months ago... who also has three kids).

I know he is going to get mad when I bring it up. His reasoning is: "The midwife said you are good to travel. Why don't you want to go? You don't even like my family!" It is very upsetting to me. I just keep praying that something will happen at either his work or mine that will prevent us from going.



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:31 AM   1043
helena
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Offer to split heir gas bills if it means you not havng to travel? And they travel to you? Driving that far at 37 weeks is not healthy. Wh don't they visit a few weeks later when LO is here?
37 weeks is considered full term..what if you go into labour at theirs? Or on the road?
Your husband needs to step forward and tell mommy no. Why wouldn't you wan to g?...URL, back Ache, constant toilet stops, the risk of labour no where near your doctor, generally feeling heavy and uncomfortable....no, I wouldn't do it! Can't MIL remember being heavily pregnant?

we are also staying home for the holidays this year as I don't want to risk anything r have extra stress.



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:43 AM   1044
SierraJourney
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Kellen, Helena brings up a good point---what if you go into labor!? There is no way I would want to have my baby anywhere but with my doctor and my hospital! Surely your DH wouldn't want that either. That's a huge risk! Also, with holiday traffic---what if you get in an accident? He would be risking his child. I would definitely offer to split the gas bill or something. If they can't do that, then you will have to visit with them sometime after baby is born. Your baby is your biggest priority---and your DH's biggest priority. If his mother can't accept that, then that's her problem. You have to look out for this pregnancy. I think if you put it that way--that you are concerned and don't want to go into labor at that point, then your DH should understand.



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:50 AM   1045
Kellen
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You girls are awesome. I hadn't thought about offering to split their gas bill. That might work... if they can get away from the rest of the family.

DH is #4 of 6... the other 5 live within 30 minutes of momma. So somehow I seriously doubt she'll budge.

And my times were off... I'll only be 33 weeks... so much better. Not really. Now DH is having a bad day at work and his paycheck is going to be short due to him taking time off last week. Ugh, I just want to crawl under some blankets and ignore the world.

You guys are awesome. I think I'm going to print out a list of reasons why not to travel.



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:58 AM   1046
SierraJourney
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Even at 33 weeks, it's not advised to travel long distances-----and even at 33 weeks you can go into labor. Ask DH to offer to split the gas bill or ask them if you can celebrate Christmas later with them. (Or maybe earlier? Could you maybe do a Thanksgiving get-together instead? I have heard of other families doing that.--it still won't be the most comfortable ride, but could be an option?) Keep us posted!



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 10:51 AM   1047
DragonflyWing
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Kellen- I hope your husband and MIL can understand that traveling that far while in the third trimester is uncomfortable at best, very risky at worst! Especially driving...no way would I be doing a 13 hour drive even now at 27 weeks! In my case, I guess I'm lucky, because my doctor has forbidden me to travel more than an hour away from home past 24 weeks. And an air mattress on the cement floor? No way in hell! I can barely get in and out of bed as it is, and can barely sleep once I'm in! No...if I were you, I would put my foot firmly down and say that we would have to visit once the baby arrives.



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 11:01 AM   1048
Kellen
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I feel like I have very little room to stand on because our midwife said I would be perfectly fine to travel that distance at 33 weeks. Even though I know I'll be miserable and uncomfortable I feel like he'll ignore it because she said I'll be fine.

I think I'll try proposing splitting the cost of gas tonight after our waterbirth class. Maybe there will be a heavily pregnant person there who I can get to speak up about the stupidity of traveling when 33 weeks pregnant.

Dragon, if you could get your doctor to write me a note for no travel that would be awesome!



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 12:49 PM   1049
helena
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Even if the midwife said you are fine (daft advice anyway) if you are stressed about it then that is not good.
If she wants to see you they can come to you. I would stand by that. Or celebrate Easter with them next year! Can't you Skype and that be enough?....having to put yourself so out for others is such a big issue right now.
Otherwise, tell DH you will need several stops, including at least one or two overnights on the way. So he had best start saving...
Life has changed now..

The other option ofcourse is to go along with it but to huff and puff a lot and make them all feel guilty!.. x



 
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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 13:12 PM   1050
Jo_Bean
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I am surprised the MW said it's ok to travel at 33 weeks. Some airlines refuse you at 36 and that's only 3 weeks difference!

You need to check insurance too, I'm from the UK so I don't understand how your insurance and healthca system works, but we have travel insurance which would likely not cover any early labour and hospital trips and if you decide to travel whilst pregnant at that stage, it could invalidate it anyway.

You will have to take all the notes and everything with you in case you need to go to another hospital.

My friend has been admitted into hospital today because walking too far made her blood pressure go crazy.

The biggest worry is how much this will stress you out as that will cause just as many problems.

Hope you can resolve it Kellen

When your MW said it was ok, did you say you would be sleeping in less than comfortable circumstances?



 
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