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Old Apr 3rd, 2013, 16:51 PM   11
Mom2Hope
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good luck to you anjamum i hope the docs doing what they did helped and you can be on your way to having a lil angel ...babydust to you...

So today I had an extreamely frustrating day....I have been trying to set up an OB appt. or trying to find a doc that accepts my insuance so I could set up an appointment...I don't need to be seen until end of april begining of May but I still want to make the appointment...I called 20 doctors and they are all on my approved list of providers from my insurance and every one has told me...."we no longer accept that insurance" or "oh we accept it but we don't handle pregnancy visits" or "you have to be over 65"....I am freaken 27 years old...sorry I can't be over 65, sorry i'm not calling because of something other than pregnancy, sorry my insurance company is stupid and doesn't update there dadgum list more frequently...grrrrrrrr...it was so frustrating...i called my insurance company jut bawling my eyes out...i'm sure they thought i was nuts....

I took a nap...and then...finally...the very last doctor on the list....the only one left to call...is going to se me on May 1st, at 1:15...finally...I don't feel like I am limbo...I feel like I have something to look forward to...what do they generally do at a first appointment at 8 weeks??? I don't even know that...

How have you ladies been today?



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 11:31 AM   12
sparklela
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hey, congrats on the appointment! (sorry i was offline for a few days.)
that's a pain about the insurance... i'm so sorry to hear about the drama with doctors. i remember going through something similar when i was living in new york a few years ago-- i have to say, that's one of the things i'm eternally grateful about now that we're living in Europe at the moment. Healthcare is a lot simpler (well, apart from the fact that most of my doctor's visits have to be done in German...)

How are you feeling?

I am in the throes of nasty morning sickness today-- home from work because of it. i have a feeling that i'm going to have to announce the pregnancy earlier than i wanted to...

in answer to your question about the 8 weeks visit: i'm not sure because mine will be next week! Here they do an ultrasound and it might be possible to hear the hearbeat-- but you should ask the doctor. some people told me to set aside several hours, though, because it might take a while. I think it's also your first real chance to talk with the doctor and ask questions-- so i'm planning on coming with my list. (Being a first-time mom and all)

hope you all are feeling ok! i am SOOO looking forward to the first trimester being over.

um, is it possible that i'm showing a little ?!? i can't if it's my imagination or not... but i think so. my jeans are also a little tighter and i've put on a couple of pounds. yikes! hope this isn't starting too soon...



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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 11:47 AM   13
Mom2Hope
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I would think it is possible to be showing a little by 7 or 8 weeks...but I've also heard it could still be bloating at that time too...

I think I may have to call the doctor office and as ahead of time about how long the appointment will be and if they will do a scan because I scheduled it while my stepkids were in school and I will have to be out of there at the latest by 3:00 to get to them on time or schedule for someone else to pick them up for me...plus my wife is taking part of the day off to go with me and she has to know if she has time to return to work or not that day...I just am afraid if I all asking questions like that they will think I'm being to eager or something...

Sorry about the icky ms...no bad ms yet for me....just queasy every day...some days more than others and somedays longer tan others....

I wish health care in the us went as smoothly as you say yours goes....ours is crazy...
good luck on your scan next week though you will hve to let me know how it goes...sorry for all the typos today my computer keyboard is being stupid and I don't feel like going bak and correcting everything lol...sorry guys..

keep me posted on how you feel...



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 12:08 PM   14
sparklela
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hm. in that case, i would definitely call and ask how long the appointments typically run-- i wouldn't worry about being too eager. after all, it's the first time you're giving birth right? i think doctors' offices must expect first-timers to have a ton of questions. and even if not, it's your right to ask. plus you already have the appointment-- they won't take it away from you just because they're irritated or something.

ugh, i am feeling so lazy today!! i know it's the sickness, but i can't motivate myself to do anything... i was going to try to get a few things done around the apartment, but it's just not happening today.

anybody else dealing with this? my partner says i should just take it easy, but i feel rather guilty just taking the time out...



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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 13:12 PM   15
Mom2Hope
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oh me too...complete guilt for wanting to lay down and just sleep...push myself because my wife works two jobs and I only work the one...so I feel I should have more of the house duties...its only fare...she tells me to shut up and take a nap lol...but I still feel badly about it...I just washed the dishes but have laundry to do and just don't want to do it...thinking of taking a nap before doing laundry lol...

yes this is my first time pg myself...I have two step children who are amazing but being pregnant is all new to me even if parenting isn't lol...a little backwards hu...I think I will call...so you may hear back from me today because you hit the nail on the head I was so petrified they would take the appointment away especially after how long it took me to find an OB to take my insurance....argh that was frustrating...but I guess there is no harm in asking...

so which person are you in your profile pic???



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 13:26 PM   16
Mom2Hope
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THEY DO A SONOGRAM YAY...so I get a scan at 8 weeks...but when I asked if they do bloodwork she said she wasn't sure...isn't blood work the most important to check the numbers and everything...or is the sonogram the one that offers more information....

the receptionist said they do a sonogram and answer questions the first appointment...but I hope they do bloodwork too...guess we will find out in a few weeks...and it is only suppose to last like 30 min to an hour...which is doable for picking up kiddos...


so excited now



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 14:28 PM   17
sparklela
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awesome! good for you for calling back :-) i'm sure it will be awesome to see the sonogram... yippee! i'm on pins and needles myself! so hoping that everything is okay with the little peanut...

i'll tell you what happens at mine next week... and i guess if you wanted bloodwork done, you could also probably ask for it. (plus, i think that's something they are supposed to do at least a few times-- to make sure your hormone levels are adequate for supporting the pregnancy, etc.

Realizing that I actually have the right to ask for a test or treatment is something that dawned on me (finally, duh!) about a year or so ago. I mean, I don't know why it never hit me before-- I guess I just always thought the doctor was totally the boss, since i'm not a medical professional. But at the end of the day, you make an appointment because you're taking care of your health-- so you're entitled to ask for something if it really feels important to you. The only real question is if would be an extra expense...

I'm the one on the right in the pic-- it's from a trip to NYC we took awhile back. I thought i'd put us both on there since we're not a straight couple and it would just be easier to clear that one up from the get-go :-)



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Old Apr 10th, 2013, 14:36 PM   18
Mom2Hope
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yup totally understand...my friends and family (whether they like it or not) accept mine and my wifes relationship (even though it took some years to get to that point) but when it comes time to explain that we are having a baby I can just see how child like I am going to have to break it down for some of them lol...it will be way over there head simply because they assume I accepted a long time ago that I wouldn't have children...wrong!! lol...We are telling my dad and sister this Saturday because they are coming up for my step sons 14th birthday...if they get here early enough we tell them before the party if not then we tell them after...

I know I have the right to ask for a test it is just that after all the trouble with the insurance and dr.s clinic and what not I was so worried they would call back and say sorry on second thought we don't accept your insurance...but when I asked the lady was really nice said "oh you are a new patient, first timer hu?" and I was happy because she wasn't all judgy and stuff...

cant wait to hear how your appointment goes...did the time seem like it has gone really slow or did it go pretty fast for you until now???



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2013, 05:38 AM   19
J.D.
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Hi everyone!

Just popping my head up from the haze of morning sickness to say hi!

I have the week off work (I booked some holidays so I could get some non-guilt-related rest!) so I'm just hanging at home with the kitties, feeling queasy but at least I'm not at work feeling this way.

And I'm starting to have good days. I had one last week -- I was completely free of sickness (ok, there was this low-level nausea still there, but I was completely able to function normally -- I wasn't even exhausted). So I have hope it is drawing to a close.

Next week is the big 12 weeks when we said we're going to tell. Terrified, of course.

And I'm (patiently, of course) waiting on my first letter from the hospital to meet the consultant and the midwives. November doesn't feel that far away now.

Oh, and I bought my wife a surprise birthday present (surprise because I'm buying her a new phone for Xmas/birthday when she's due an upgrade, so that's meant to be it), but I saw this, and couldn't resist.

Her birthday is the day after we're 12 weeks, so...



I think she'll be really excited. Sometimes it's hard, I think, for her to think of the baby as hers. So, here's a little vest thing with Manchester United stuff on it, her favourite team, and maybe that will help.

How are all of you getting on? How are you surviving the morning sickness?



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2013, 08:06 AM   20
sparklela
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Hi JD! Glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better.

The onesies are adorable. hopefully that will help your wife feel more like the baby is hers! I can understand that-- i think my partner also sometimes feels distant from the pregnancy. Especially at the moment, since there's so little to see. And anytime she asks if i can feel it, i can only talk about exhaustion and nausea, or whether or not i puked... not exactly helpful.

I'm having a better day today physically-- although i have to say that is also scary -- what if it means something has stopped growing?

I know that it seems silly to worry, but it's actually not, because we've been on an emotional roller-coaster since last thursday, when i got a last-minute doctor's appointment to go in because my nausea was so terrible. They did a scan-- I was at 7 weeks, 4 days according to my LMP-- and they couldn't find the an embryo.

They hadn't found one at my initial appointment either, but that was only at like 5 weeks, so the doctor wasn't alarmed. this time he said that it's not really normal (though he was also still pretty relaxed about it), and said that he is really hoping that it shows up this week when I have my first official prenatal appointment on wednesday. He also explained that sometimes they just can't be located-- but that there is also a chance that it might be a blighted ovum. (It's also possible that since the pregnancy is actually situated very high in my uterus that he just hasn't found it yet-- apparently it's harder to maneuver the trans-vaginal ultrasound well when it's so far up-- but still. he found the gestational sac just find and could measure it, so why on earth can't they find the embryo?)

If it's a blightem ovum, that means that at some point-- probably due to a chromosomal abnormality-- the embryo just failed to develop or was reabsorbed. In that case, your body will probably miscarry at some point. But if not, then you can either be given medication to expel the baby (miscarry in the comfort of your own home) or have an operation to clear out the "pregnancy products"-- a "D&C".

At the moment all we can see is an empty gestational sac. (On a positive note, that sac is a bit larger than it actually should have been at 7-4... it's was more the size of 8 weeks, 3 days. But still...)

I don't know what to make of this, and although the doctor said not to presume it's a blighted ovum just yet-- it's hard to avoid going there. especially when you see the big empty sac on the screen.

on the one hand, why would the sac and the placenta still be developing if there was no baby. and why would i have such morning sickness and be so tired? on the other hand, if the sac has grown so well, shouldn't the baby be visible? reading on the internet doesn't help of course. some people find their babies later-- often at the last-minute scan right before the D & C. But many people also simply have the blighted ova ... and there is, indeed, no baby-- despite pregnancy symptoms and a gestational sac.

still some other people write about situations where they find a sac and no baby, but it's much smaller than it should be-- as if the baby stopped developing at some point, and so did the sac. (that seems to bode well in my case, since my sac seems to still be growing.)

the torturous thing about this is that there's no way to know yet-- we just have to wait it out. i guess it is possible that the baby would just be too small to see, or hiding somewhere (if it's small, located someplace that's hard to see).

but the waiting is *killing* me. I have been crying off and on every day since the appointment-- i think doing premature grieving so that it doesn't hurt so bad later if i find out there's no actual baby. my partner has also been sporadically upset, too... and we are both terribly tense.

Imagining having to go through surgery, and/or a miscarriage, and the process of TTC all over again is also just totally overwhelming.

Not to mention that every time i've felt sick or tired this weekend, i've felt like it's a total waste, i'm just sick from a pointless placenta, and burst into tears.

And now i'm also kicking myself for the fact that our donor is so much older-- he's 48-- because i feel like we've brought this on ourselves. (Most blighted ovum cases supposed happen due to chromosomal abnormalities-- and most are attributed to advanced maternal or paternal age. I'm 35 which is not that old... so it's hard not to think it's something with the sperm.)

Please think good thoughts for us, if you can. I feel quite alone right now-- especially with my mother, sister, and best friends in the states so far away. i could use the good vibes...

hope you all are okay... my current vote on the first trimester is that between the nausea and the exhaustion and the waiting to see a baby on the scan, this really sucks...



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