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Old Apr 8th, 2017, 21:44 PM   5101
AliJo
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Angel - I'm sorry everything is so rough for you right now! I'm wondering if she associated not being able to breathe well to nursing off the breast? Definitely keep calmly offering the breast and maybe try offering half way through a bottle as well. That way she isn't as hungry and maybe a little calmer.

I agree with Lite. It does sound like you're having a lot of anxiety and even though it may feel like your fault it definitely isn't! I sometimes feel like how my children are behaving as my fault, even if I know better. It's very hard to just accept that they're being babies/toddlers and that you can't control or "fix" everything.

Apple - Sounds like a great party you have put together! I want to do a Mickey Mouse themed party for O when he turns 3. He loves Mickey right now. No bakeries around here do Mickey cakes so I'm trying to find a good one online that I can do or maybe get a cake and put Mickey toys on it. Not sure yet. It isn't until September, but I really should plan ahead or it'll creep up on me. I want to do a surprise for him. Have DH take him out and set everything up. That way he walks in to family, friends, and Mickey everywhere.

Ally - What is relaxing? I can usually find some time on the days I'm home to relax, but not in the last couple of weeks. T has been very demanding. Wanting held all the time when he's not asleep and not sleeping much. Ah well.. hopefully it passes soon.

Their routines seem to always be changing at this age. For the last several days T is up generally 3 hours with an hour nap between the 3 hour stretches. I haven't had a long nap the last few days. Which is why I feel like I don't have any time to relax. Those 3 hours are me holding him and putting him down long enough to do something quick. He quickly gets pissed! I won't be surprised if this turns into the norm. It's what I remember O doing till he switched to two naps.

Slammer - I have to take T out of bed so I'm always afraid he's going to wake up. He will generally stay asleep, thankfully. I put him in the swing, but bought a rock n play to lay him in instead. He sleeps really well on the bed. I think it's because it smells like me.

Lite - I'd do the same and say not to worry. Plus, the one that comes and destroys my son's room.. his mother doesn't really help. Just because I still have to go through and sort it all because it's not in order! I let her, but then I'm in there dumping things and sorting. Every time he is over toys go missing. I'm still missing a part of his stacking rings. My apartment is not that big yet I still can't find it.


AFM - Just coasting along.. T doesn't ever want put down which makes for a long day when he's awake most of it. I haven't gotten a long nap out of him for a few days.

The apartment upstairs is being redone since the people moved out.. It's 9:30 pm and they're slamming hammers against the floors. It's actually pissing me off. DH got like 0 sleep because of it. Both the boys are asleep and they better not wake either up.

Also didn't make it to the Easter egg hunt. We got there a couple of minutes too late and it was over. After seeing all the people.. it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. O wouldn't have been able to focus on getting eggs because he'd be too excited or distracted by all the people. My stepmom got him some eggs, though. They didn't put anything in the eggs and had them come up and draw prizes and were given a bag of candy instead, which was smart. A lot of older kids would have kept the little ones from getting anything. We'll be doing a family one, so that'll be better.

Also, one other thing. O's pediatrician called yesterday. She was concerned because he wasn't responding to her when she was trying to give him a sticker. This was the whole scenario, We open the door, he heads out as she does, she's like "You want a sticker" and he just keeps going, there's a room down the hall and he was bound determined to go explore so he's heading that way, she kept calling his name and he COMPLETELY ignores her. So she thought it was odd that he wasn't responding or acting like he heard her at all. I don't feel it's an issue, I mean I talked like I was unsure on the phone because this was out of nowhere and I thought "Maybe I'm just missing it because I'm around him all the time?" Then I walked out and he was calm on the couch. I said his name. He looked right over at me. So, pretty sure it's because he's got a one track mind when he's on a mission. I've had to snap at him to get his attention in situations because just saying his name doesn't work. He's being evaluated anyways just to make sure everything is fine since he was a little delayed in speech, even though I still feel like he's okay and maybe just a little behind. I won't be too surprised if they suggest therapy, though. I hope not because I really don't want to deal with a weekly meeting. I get all frazzled when people come over. I'm one of those that wants to make it look like we don't even live here

Now I'm off to bed. Won't be able to sleep with all the banging. I can hear it on the baby monitor as well.



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 10:53 AM   5102
Angel5000
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Thanks ladies for your support. You're right, I was and am having a lot of anxiety. I go back to work in 3 weeks and I'm not ready to deal with pumping at work and not being with baby, and at the same time I desperately need to get away and have some non-baby time. Plus the lack of sleep the last couple weeks has just snowballed and turned me into a wreck. I have never functioned well without 8 hours of sleep and so zombie mode doesn't work real well on me.

To top it off - I mentioned before my mom and her lupus diagnosis and my MIL and her cancer diagnosis. Well, last week we got a call and found out MIL had a stroke about two weeks before (and no one thought to call us ). SHe's right side paralyzed and in rehab center now but definitely won't be baby sitting any time soon. With her stroke plus cancer plus kidney failure I'm not sure how long she'll be with us.

It looks like, tentatively speaking, the nursing strike may be over! She wouldn't eat much yesterday during the day, just little bits, but by evening she was eating full meals from me again. We'll see how today goes. It'll be so nice not to pump every few hours, pumping is exhausting.

Last night we tried her in her crib in her own room but by the second time I Had to go to her I was too tired to keep walking across the house so I brought her back to the pack n play in our room. I found a heated throw blanket I have and before we went to bed I had anticipated this would happen. So I put the heated blanket on the pack n play mattress and then wrapped that with the mattress protector and sheet. With the throw on low I can't really feel any heat through the sheet, but its just enough to take the chill out of the sheets. So for the rest of the night when she woke she would eat and go back down on the pack n play fairly easily. Last night was the first time in probably a couple weeks where I feel like I actually managed some decent sleep. Now if only she would move her feedings from 2.5 hours to closer to 4 I would really feel great.



Lite - You're right, I have a ton of anxiety and I do feel like I sort of "caused" some of these problems. We were doing so well in sleep training (and I use the term loosely because it was more of setting a sleep routine, which was working to get her to a point of sleeping well) but then it all got mucked up. And while I'm not usually a perfectionist, I am definitely acting that way with M. It's like I feel like I have to do everything "just right" so I don't "mess up" my kid. It's a complex my sister and I both have, comes from being raised in an abusive household with an alcoholic and very aggressive father. We were both so messed up for a long time (we thought our family dysfunction was normal) that I am absolutely determined to make sure I don't "mess up" my own kid. Which is wreaking havoc on me. I need to chill. Easier said than done.

Sounds like V and M had similar situation with the congestion. M started out just nursing less and then went into full blown strike. I suspect she was associating not breathing with the breast. I don't know thta it was really a cold though, I feel like M is always congested and this was just a worse couple weeks. No running nose or anything, just congestion way up in sinuses. Is that the baby equivalent of a cold? Poor V, two colds already?! That's rough. What do you do to help her out besides keep her propped up? Saline drops are helping M a little but the "snot bulb" is useless. lol.



Apple - Thank you so much. You're right, getting on here makes me feel so much better. I'm going to ry and read back a few pages, I'm sure it'll help me to feel better, seeing others struggling (sounds awful but you know what I mean). I read about putting breast milk in the nostril but wasn't sure it actually worked, or how to really do it. Did you just express a little and then use a dropper or something? It seems like such an odd thing to do but I've seen it pop up on a lot of places to do that.

Ollie sounds a lot like Melody. She will be fine with DH but if I'm in the room she often fusses until I take her and then she's perfectly fine.

Are you pumping and bottle feeding or giving Ollie formula? I'm thinking about giving bottle before bed just to help her sleep a bit longer. Some friends keep telling me to put rice cereal in her bottle before bed to sleep longer but everything I read says not to put it in bottles, and she's only 3 months so I don't even know if hat's a good idea. Haven't tried that yet, feels like I should check with pediatrician first. BF full time is a chore, and one thing I realized during the strike is that formula is a lot less exhausting to feed her. I wasn't always pumping enough for her to eat so I was supplementing formula and that was so much simpler. I really hate pumping.


Ali - I think you'er right, I think she was associating not being able to breathe with nursing. She's so long/tall that I can't keep her really upright when nursing on the breast but with a bottle I can keep her fairly well propped up and she can breathe better. A couple times I would give bottle with my breast already out and as she finished the bottle she would somtimes turn and just reflexively start nursing. Usually lasted about 3-4 minutes before she suddenly seemed to remember she was on strike and pull off. lol. Today seems to be going well, I am tentatively hoping the strike is clearing up.

Does wearing a T in wrap or carrier help you and him? When M is being really fussy and doesn't want to be put down I put her in my moby wrap and am able to get a bit more done. She seems fairly content that way and usually will fall asleep. I just can't take her back out without waking her up.

That apartment situation sounds awful, and really frustrating! I went through something similar in my last apartment. They were always working on it in the middle of the night (and by middle of the night I mean 8-10pm). It was infuriating.



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 12:27 PM   5103
Apple111
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Hi angel , just quick reply I'll reply properly later , I put breast milk straight to nostril from nipple whilst he was dosing, a few drops in each, left it a min then did it again. I was surprised how it helped. I'd got to stage where I'd try anything !!
I expressed at first and gave bottle then I supplemented with formula, now he has formula 80% of time (changed to formula for hungrier babies after a week or two ) and he still has a bit of breast middle of night. I think he will be formula full time soon. I admire everyone doing it full time I just found it a lot easier in the end with formula and ollie is really settled. I did 3 months so im ok with that ️xx I was bit gutted at first bit I'm ok with it now



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 12:40 PM   5104
Apple111
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image.jpgCouple of pics hope they have uploaded



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 12:42 PM   5105
slammerkin
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Angel - sorry to hear you've been struggling so much. Young babies are so hard! I know you want to do your best by M. I felt a lot of anxiety with my first about doing things the "right" way, so I know where you are coming from. But once I let things go a bit I felt more at peace. I never could get DD to sleep well at night for her first year. It was brutal, and I tried many things...even some sleep training, which I am mostly opposed to. Nothing worked. I drove myself crazy. She got better in her own time. Also naps were crap until she hit 6 months old. They were all 30-45 minutes if you put her down (longer if held/nursed). Once she hit 6 months she magically started taking 1-1.5 hour naps. It was just developmental. It is OK to just do what works in any given stretch of time! Nothing has to be set in stone. Everything is a phase. Just get through these early trying months the best you can and take it easy on yourself.

AFM - Jack is ridiculously tired today! He was up for an hour in the morning and then took a nearly four hour nap on top of me! Only up and hour then before falling back asleep on me while eating and I'm trapped again! Growth spurt maybe...

DH is finally feeling better, not 100%, but a lot better, and is going back to work tonight. Kind of sad about it actually. It's going to be tough getting back into our regular routine of him working and me being on my own with the kids a lot. Shit's gonna get real in another week when I go back to work too! We had such a nice day yesterday with each of us taking turns running errands and getting chores done, and then had a fire out back and roasted marshmallows...made me sad to think that's what our weekends could always be like if he had a normal day job.

Oh, keep forgetting to mention I am finally losing some more weight...down 4 lbs in the last three weeks. Green smoothie almost every day, less snacking, and going on walks is definitely doing the trick.



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 13:05 PM   5106
Apple111
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Not sure if this is working but did try to upload a pic of ds cake today , his little face was a picture. All went really good. It was really nice weather so the play area was empty so we had it basically to ourselves for the party. He did really well with presents. Ollie was great all the way through bless him awake 2 hours taking it all in lol.. All shattered now , we are away for 2days at this farm break tomoz and i havnt packed yet !
Not had chance to read posts hope everyone ok x

Cake not going to do my diet any good .. It's delish .. Be rude not to ��



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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 15:05 PM   5107
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Ali - ahh, that's annoying that one of his stacking rings is still missing! I am thinking maybe next time I can suggest we let the kids play in the back yard if it's nice out... We'll see!
Sounds like T is really needing to be held a lot when awake! Does that mean he can be put down when he's sleeping? If so, I'm a bit jealous! Haha. That doesn't sound like he is napping much though. It would be very difficult with him awake so much and not having your hands free! He is awake for quite long periods for his age, too! Hopefully he gets to an easier stage soon.
The renovations above you sound incredibly annoying! I have no tolerance for renovation noise, especially when it interferes with me sleep! Grr. I hope that is over soon.
That is interesting your pediatrician was concerned about O not responding to her when she asked if he wanted a sticker. It sounds like you're probably right that he was just focused on whatever he was doing. I suppose it is good she is being watchful though. Hopefully he won't need speech therapy. It certainly would be a hassle to have that weekly commitment. However, I'm sure it wouldn't take long before he didn't need it anymore, if he does need it! My sister is a speech pathologist, actually.

Apple - cute pic of Ollie, and such a nice cake! Thanks for sharing. I am glad the party went so well!!

Slammer - that does sound like a sleepy day for Jack! Violet has those days probably every 4 or 5 days or so. It's weird, because I don't think she could be having that many growth spurts! It sucks you were trapped all that time. I don't mind holding a sleeping baby, but it sure gets uncomfortable if you have to pee or get really hungry during the nap, which always happens to me! Violet has a lot of interrupted naps because my dd1 will never fail in needing a diaper change or something in the middle of it.

That is kind of sad your DH is going back to work. Sounds like it has been nice having him around. That sounds like you had quite a great day yesterday! I am a bit jealous as I have only seen my DH for maybe 30 minutes since Wednesday! Ugh. I hope you settle back into your routine and the transition to him back at work isn't so bad.

Well done on losing so much weight! I am at a standstill basically. It took me nearly 3 weeks to lose 1 lb! Ugh. This past week I really made a conscious effort to eat healthier, but it is hard because I feel like I am starving/low blood sugar all the time, and I doubt I have even lost anything. My fitness class starts this Tuesday so I hope that helps a tiny bit. Walks are not helpful at the moment since I have to walk so slowly and not very far with dd1 along.

Angel - I have been using a saline spray for Violet, but I don't find it works very well. I try not to use the nasal bulb because it makes babies so hysterical, I find! I am assuming this is a cold, but I am sort of concerned that it is lasting so long. It coincided with dd1 having a cold at first, but dd1 has been better for ages, but V is not. Her only symptoms are nasal congestion and a slight cough. No runny nose here either.

That makes sense you want to do everything perfectly after everything that you had to go through with your dad. However, I can assure you that whether M sleeps perfectly by herself in a crib, or co sleeps until she's 8, the only thing that REALLY matters and that she is going to remember is that she is well LOVED and cared for by you. Baby sleep will not matter at all in the grand scheme of things, so try not to stress! I know it is hard. I definitely worried unnecessarily about doing things "right" the first time, and I wish I hadn't!



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2017, 16:49 PM   5108
vrogers
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Literati- thank you SO much for the encouragement, you're so sweet! Thankfully my dad and dh's mom both live fairly close so it wouldn't be a huge deal to let them watch the baby. Also, L has been slowly going to bed around 9:30-10 instead of midnight and the past 2 nights dh and I put her to bed and spent time together in the living room. Even that helped! It's good to hear that at least some things get easier and I'm more confident than I was when she was, say, 2 weeks old so surely i will get even more so as she gets older...I hope!
Oh man, I'm sorry about your friends son messing up the house! It's too bad your friend doesn't insist on staying to help, I would hope if I take L to a friends when she's older and she does that I would stop her from wrecking toys or at least stay to help clean! That's frustrating. Meeting in a park might be better, and the older kids could play close by while you guys are able to talk, then no clean up? Might be worth at least trying!
Does your dh take anything for his migraines, or would nothing work? My dh gets bad migraines (but thankfully not frequently) and he will usually take excedrin or BC powder, but usually has to lay in a dark room and let it pass it seems like. That's gotta be frustrating for both of you-him in pain and you having to do everything by yourself.
Glad your Friday was so much better! Also I'm glad I'm not the only one still wearing my maternity clothes! I haven't tried my pre pregnancy pants but I know I won't fit them yet, plus maternity clothes are just so darn comfortable.

Pompey- no need to apologize for a long post, it helps me SO much to hear from you ladies who have been here before and know what it's like and can tell me from experience that it gets better. I have read a ton of people saying the same thing you said, how it's better when they are more interactive. I've kept reminding myself it won't always be this way and I'm sure before I know it I'll miss when I was able to rock her to sleep!

Ali- definitely much more busy than I usually am so I don't blame you for feeling like it's a lot! Your pediatricians nurse sounds so sweet, that actually sounds helpful that she "stole" T and you could focus more on O's appointment.
Glad T is doing so well and slept so long! I'm sure you've said before and I'm forgetting, but are you planning on going back to work full time or staying part time? I'm sorry it was so difficult with the coworker and everything going on all at once!
Thank you so much for saying that, it seems like I have moments where I can't imagine her not being here and then other times where I miss my freedom. I think it will help when she gets a bit older, dh is not a baby person at all so I do a lot of it on my own. He just wants a little buddy to take to the hunting camp and help work on his tractor and talk to haha
And about the rock n play, ours is automatic and L LOVES it and has since day one. She used to sleep in her swing (fisher price puppy cradle and swing) but since she's gotten older she refuses to fall asleep in it. She'll sit in it and be content but won't take naps or anything.
I hope the rock n play works for you guys like it does us!

Slammer- thank you, especially for saying it's okay to find this stage hard! I have quite a few people my age with babies around L's age on Facebook, and it seems like they all just LOVE this stage and have it all together. Of course I'm sure that has more to do with keeping up an image on social media, but for some reason it's nice to hear that I'm allowed to be having a hard time with this stage!
When are you going back to work?

Ally- I'm sorry you have felt the same way! It seems like a pretty common feeling, it really is the most massive change and literally overnight. I also try to remember this little baby stage is SO short compared to the rest of her life...even though it feels like it will never end haha
It does seem like once you get a good routine and think you've figured it all out, everything changes! I'm glad Isa is napping/sleeping well, that makes a huge difference!

Angel- I teared up reading your post because you are not alone!! The first 6-8 weeks for me were HELL, probably a lot to do with uncontrolled reflux but also the overwhelming feeling of missing my old life and not bonding with my baby right away. I'm not sure how much you've been able to read before but I've just been feeling similar to what you described, it's not a 100% of the time, constant miserable feeling like it was before but I do have moments especially when she's fussy or when I'm not able to do things I was able to before. Add in feeding/sleeping problems and it just makes it that much worse and more miserable. Im sorry you're going through it too, it really sucks. You're most definitely NOT a horrible mother at all, this is plain hard and we definitely need to take care of ourselves so we are able to take care of our babies. You are doing a great job no matter what you FEEL like, and if you do end up deciding to ask for help whether that's counseling or meds there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and you will still be a great mom

Apple- oh my what a little cutie!!

I have had this update typed out and been coming back to it for a couple hours now, have had a busy afternoon! Dh's mom came by, we've had a little drama with her (looong story) and now have school work to try to do and fussy baby!
Still working on pumping and it's starting to go into the pump which is huge for me haha
Hope everyone has had a good weekend!



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 04:01 AM   5109
Ally2015
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angel- that sounds so tough, i am so sorry! i agree with what others have said, babies are demanding and change their needs, you are a great mum and doing a great job. Like apple said, thoughts are just thoughts, and when we are tired and exhausted, we can all have these kinds of thoughts. Really sorry about your MIL.
Glad you managed some sleep last night and hope things will get easier for you.

ali- true! sorry you haven't had a chance to have a long nap, i haven't either. Bu thopefully our babies will start on long naps soon! hopefully O won't need therapy and i am sure its just because he was on a mission to explore!

apple- 3 months is brilliant... glad Ollie is more settled on the bottle though. He is soo adorable! thanks for sharing pic. Cake looks great too.
Yes i took Isa to wedding, will upload a pic later of him, he looked so cute!
enjoy the farm break.

slammer- glad dh is feeling better and yah on losing weight. i have eaten so much junk the last week or so, i know i have gained. back to healthy eating today.

lit- what fitness class will you be starting on tuesday? i hope you get more time with dh.

vrogers- i definitely feel more confident now with Isa, glad you are too. Thats great L is going to bed earlier and you get more time with dh, these small things make a big difference. Isa is asleep by 10 normally and i like the time with dh i get then.

afm- went to a wedding yesterday whcih was nice, my parents and brothers were there too . Isa was good but after an hour started getting fussy, so my brother walked round with him and isa vomited all over him. Was really funny haha. Then he fell asleep on me, and was relaxed the rest of the evening.
its really sunny today, going to get out for a long walk, hopefully isa will just sleep in the pram



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 04:04 AM   5110
Ally2015
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Isa with his little bow tie at the wedding yesterday



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