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Old Apr 10th, 2018, 10:48 AM   6031
vrogers
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Literati- Iím almost positive sheís trying to go to one nap, this nap transition has been the most difficult and frustrating of all!
Your coworkers sound nice, at least, with not wanting anyone to be alone. But alone is not always bad!
Anyone who ever does nights alone is a rockstar in my book! I canít imagine being on my own for one of Lís fussy nights.

Afm- had my weekly appointment yesterday but didnít get cervix checked since my doc gave me the option and I decided I would be too discouraged if no progress so we will check next week! Itís tough waiting not knowing if I should prepare for another c section or if my body will let me do a vaginal this time.
L is definitely going to one nap and Iím hoping once she does, bedtime will be at least a little easier! Yesterday she took her morning nap and woke around 11:30 and then wouldnít take her afternoon nap, so she was a mess by bedtime and fought sleep until almost 9:30.
We have her 15 month check up Thursday!



 
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Old Apr 12th, 2018, 08:36 AM   6032
Ally2015
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Hi ladies, finally getting a chance to catch up!

apple- hope u well and ollie.

midnight0 hope wedding went well! do post a pic or two!!

ali- glad T is sleeping better on some nights, i feel the same with Isa. If he is all good, no issues he almost sleeps through the night in his cot. Other nights not so, and is in bed. Good luck getting some DTD in and hitting your fertile window!

lit- nice to hear from you, glad u are enjoying your job! its amazing you still nurse at night, i dont know how you do it!! Glad u have a little progress on the sleep though, and hopefully it will continue to get better.

Vrogers - your pregnancy is just flying by!!I noticed that if i put isa for a nap too early or too late, he wakes after 30 mins. But if i get it between his best time, which is normally 11-11.30 he naps longer. Maybe try changing her nap time to see if one suits her better? either way, i am sure its just a phase(maybe a long one) but fingers crossed by the time baby comes she is better.

afm- Had a lovely birthday last week, and got back from Italy last night. I was really worried about the plane with Isa, we had to get two- Glasgow to london, and london to milan. But Isa was sooooooo well behaved on the plane, he slept for a good chunk of it, and the rest he was just curious, playing with the seatbelt, eating, and going up and down the aisle smiling at other kids. He was great the whole time too, slept in the cot thing provided at our air b and b really well and was happy to sit in his buggy all day when we were out and about. I really am so proud of my boy, made our trip so much easier.
Italy was lovely, we were in the very north, near the alps. Very pictureque, and we had stunning views of Lake Iseo from our apartment. DH and I used to sit on balcony and chat away, when Isa went to bed, was so lovely. Much needed. My friends wedding was there (which is why we went on this holiday). A very lovely occasion and a great catch up.
We had a couple of issues though, our bags were delayed when we arrived in Milan, and we had to wait hours for it to get sorted. We then had a 2 hour drive (we hired a car) to the bit we were staying at. DH had to drive on the other side of the road in the dark, it was pretty stressful and he actually hit the car against the kerb. The alloy was scratched, and when we returned it, they charged us 390 euros!!!!!! Disputing that, and also contacting british airways about the bag delay as it was very stressful for me, i actually felt so panicked worrying about everything being lost.
Anyway that was Italy. Besides that Isa is doing great, happy boy. I need to go unpack now, hope u are all well and will get on sooner and update again x



 
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Old Apr 14th, 2018, 20:48 PM   6033
vrogers
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Ally- sheís been wanting two naps again these past couple days, keeps throwing me off, but I did read it helps to gradually change the nap time and keep pushing it later so Iíll have to experiment and see what time she needs.
So glad to hear Isa did so well on the flights!That would be my biggest worry too. Sounds like you guys had a lovely trip despite the bumps!

Afm- Lís 15 month check up was good, she weighs a few oz away from 23 pounds and is quite long, and her doc prescribed a steroid cream for her eczema. She also got one shot (canít remember which vaccine that one was). She did well other than when messed with, as usual!
Soo sore and uncomfortable lately, definitely more so than the first time around. Been using the yoga ball a lot and will probably be checked for dilation at my appointment Monday, very much hoping to avoid c section this time but also trying to be realistic and open minded.
Itís gotten much quieter on here, hope that just means everyone is busier than normal!



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2018, 16:19 PM   6034
Apple111
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Hi ladies sorry not been in in a while, I donít intend on stopping coming on just hard sometimes with these boys keeping me busy and being back at work. My private work is also going crazy which is good but itís also taking up my time so Iím feeling a bit shattered lately. Iíll get in a routine soon x

Sorry to not reply to everyone individually, I will if I get chance. Iíve had a difficult few weeks, not something Iíve vented on here about as sometimes u just get sick of talking about it and with weddings an new babies on the way I didnít want to be putting a negative on things as Iím really happy for everyone. Xx

Basically Iíve been really concerned about my oh for quite some time now, he is really stressed with work ect and I know Iíve mentioned b4 about family history but he is being really horrible with me. Will be ok for a few days then he will just flying off the handle , nothing in front of boys he is like a saint , sometimes overly so with the lads but with me he is saying some really horrible things. He has been off with my family and they are all now worried about me. He kicked off at Os 1st birthday as well in jan with my step dad who had said nothing, who also had a heart attack 2 years ago..Iím so pissed he has dragged them into it. He is just so angry inside all the time and he will go from one extreme to another. He refuses to get support from anyone saying he doesnít trust people.

We took ds to Legoland today and I said a comment to him ,honestly it was nothing but he said I embarrassed him in front of his daughter, it was just to do with having his pic taken on way in, there was this over enthusiastic woman taking pics, she was in your face but it was just for the kids so me and his eldest daughter (24) just had it done anyway for the young ones. Oh was adamant he wasnít and I just said laughing ď oh get over yourself, we r not going to buy it are weĒ I was laughing at the time, no malice at all. He basically refused to talk me and left after an hour , we had paid £60 to get in, and he took O with him saying it was too noisy for him. He Just met us after but was still really off with me , his daughter noticed. She has txt me since asking if Iím ok. Ds was asking for him and everything but I distracted him and he had a good time. I was really gutted. On way home just us in car , boys asleep, he basically blamed me for him not being right, said because I keep asking him if he is ok and making suggestions of how to help him Iím just reinforcing it and Iím going to make him believe it. Wtf does he want from me. Yesterday he was thanking me for sticking by him , 8 yrs this has been going on, and saying he wants to be right for me and our boys. This evening he has suggested we split. Iím gutted. He has just become robotic, I told him his reaction is not right for the situation and basically pleaded that he just trust me and take a step back and look at what happened but he is having non of it, blanking me, silent treatment all evening , saying donít make my tea or lunch for work, sleeping on couch.
I really donít want to go, I wish I didnít love him it would be so much easier. Iíve looked at houses to rent and there is one near us. Iíd need that for schools ect, itís not best area compared to where we are now but I think Iím going to go and have a look. Iíve been txting a close friend and she has seen this now a few times and is saying enough is enough, my mums the same. I just donít know what to do 🙁 I donít want to be on my own but I know Iím worth more than this. Iím just feeling so sad I feel like Iím losing my best friend. I know he just isnít right, he wonít take any medication or see anyone point blank, itís so bloody hard because Iím a therapist myself so know how much he will benefit. I think it would be easier if i didnít have the insight I have because then I would probably just see him as a dick and have sacked him off ages ago, but I look at bigger picture but I donít know if Iím allowing too much now 🙁Sorry for long vent ladies, I really am, Iím just quite emotional at the moment, just trying not to cry in front of my boys. Oh knows Iíve just put my name down for gall bladder op as well and that Iím worried about it I just donít feel he cares at all x
on a positive, I know itís quieter on here lately with our busy lives and growing babies but I did feel a bit better this evening when I thought to myself Iíve got my few close friends and my B&B mummies to drag my butt through this is needed xx

Hugs to u all x again sorry for vent 🙁



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2018, 21:16 PM   6035
vrogers
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Oh apple Iím so sorry about everything with oh. He wonít even think about going to counseling with you? The back and forth-thanking you for staying and then saying mean things-has to be exhausting and confusing. Obviously you know your relationship and if it is abuse of some kind you certainly donít deserve that at all but otherwise seems like he is being rash with suddenly bringing up separation. It sounds like he would definitely benefit from counseling alone and with you but itís tough because he has to want to go.
I am so so sorry, I canít imagine how you must feel and wish I could hug you, and Iím glad you can come on here and talk about it, I am sure I speak for everyone when I say vent as much as you need, no need to apologize!



 
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Old Apr 17th, 2018, 00:58 AM   6036
Apple111
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Thanks for reply vroggers/ Iím just not sure what to do really. I did go and look at a house today, my oh doesnít know but I wasnít happy with it. I donít think itís abuse I think my oh is struggling to manage his emotions because of life events and he is keeping it all inside but not managing this so he just blows a fuse with me. He never does it in front of the kids or his older kids and I just get on with things in the house ect or do something normal like take boys to see my mum so they arenít aware but I just know as they get older they will be aware as my teen is aware if Iím not right and I donít want that for them.

I spoke to oh last night and he is just shifting things onto me. Saying I say things and comments, that get him annoyed. I didnít take it for a min, I told him no way is he it shifting onto me. I know I am overly kind really and Iím constantly doing things to keep him on a level. Iíve asked him to go and see someone even just do it for me and he has said no. He doesnít trust them and doesnít value their opinion. I know Iíve gone above and beyond for him.

I know he loves his babies and is such a good daddy but he needs to understand they we are individual people as well. I just want him to be happy and live the best life he can. Iíve also got lingering at the back of my mind that his brother took his own life and he had two little boys. I know I canít carry that but I canít help but be concerned about oh. He has shut everyone out and is starting to have difficulties with his older kids. I know if I leave he wonít have anyone.

Anyway I donít want to bore u ladies with my issues with this any more Iíll just have to do some thinking. For now Iím going to focus on my boys.

Oh is due to have surgery on Saturday , well implants drilled into his gums, cost thousands 😣he was knocked off his bike a few years back and it smashed all his front teeth out so he needs them re doing. I know he is anxious about that. God knows why Iím thinking about him when he is being so off with me but Iím just going to leave things until after that I think. Iím going to see a house tomorrow near my mum so Iíll c how that goes.

My boys are doing well, ds a cheeky 5 yr old and little O is such a character now, proper stroppy if he doesnít get things his own way .. love them to bits x they keep me sane.

I will get on later if I can and read back properly and comment to individuals. Sorry I havenít managed so far 😣🙁 thanks again Vroggers x hope u r feeling ok.

Midnight , hope u had a loverly day x I was thinking of u hon x

Ali/ Ally & Lit/ hope u r well ladies x
Sorry if I missed anyone x



 
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Old Apr 17th, 2018, 15:22 PM   6037
Ally2015
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vrogers- glad L's appt went well and sounds like she is growing well! how did ur appt on monday go? hope u are feeling more comfortable. Not long now though!

Apple- makes me so sad to read your message! so sorry for what u are going through, and i send u lots of love and hugs. Ur OH sounds very volatile and he does sound like he needs help. I really dont know what best thing to do is in this situation, i really feel for you. Maybe renting ur own place will be better , and bit of space will help. Either way, do what is best for u and ur boys. Keep busy, and like vrogers said, rant away on here and do whatever u need to do.

afm- isa started walking finally! well he still doesn't do it much, but he will just stand on his own and start walking. But hes wobbly, and gets worried and then will go down and crawl instead. Hopefully a couple of weeks or so and he can do it properly! im excited for him.
apart from that all is well and good x



 
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Old Apr 17th, 2018, 17:12 PM   6038
Apple111
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Thank u Ally x

Yay !! for Isa walking , bless him. Ollie was exactly the same when he stared properly and kept going down to his bum after a few steps.. Iím sure isas confidence will come really quickly like Os did and then u r in for a treat haha ..honestly if O sees the stair gate open even from the other side of the room he legs it across to escape..I actually let him the other day to see where he would go.. he went straight into our down stairs loo and tried to put hands down toilet.. he was a little manic with the freedom of a new place he wasnít normally allowed. He then climbed the stairs and went straight into my teenagers bedroom ha x who wasnít overly impressed..

Iím working a long day tomoz as I have private patients after my normal day job. To be honest Iím glad to be out of the house for a while.. I will miss the boys though .. oh situation is just quiet at the min, Iím just keeping out of way. I just find it better atmosphere at times like this if Iím keeping busy. Tonight Iíve been swimming with ds and O then had a bath, n painted my nails. Iím now chilling in bed. To be honest I canít be bothered talking about stuff really . Iím looking forward to seeing my friend at work tomorrow. She keeps calling n txting me so is in the picture n is being really supportive .
Oh is just quiet at the min, doing the perfect daddy bit but giving me space which Iíve asked for. He has asked a couple of times tonight if there are things I want to discuss.. I know he means have I decided to go but Iíve not decided anything and Iíll decide if and when Iím ready to. Iím not making any decision based on high emotion I need things to settle a bit so Iím going to focus on me and boys. Iím going to see a house near my mum on Thursday. Iíll see how I feel after that x



 
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Old Apr 18th, 2018, 13:08 PM   6039
vrogers
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Apple- it sounds like you have a good plan, looking at the house and focusing on your boys. I canít imagine how it would feel, but maybe some space will be good and heíll have some kind of epiphany and realize it would be worth it to get help, be that medicine or therapy or both. You sound incredibly strong! Let us know how the house is and keep us updated.

Ally- yay for Isa walking! L was the same, started out shaky and fell a lot but within a couple weeks she got better and better. It happens so fast!
Thank you for asking about appointment, I was still 1 cm dilated but 70% effaced (think it was 40 something before) and went from -4 to -2 station, so at least thereís that!

Afm- like I said to Ally, found out at appt Monday that dilation was still 1 but am now 70% effaced and -2 station. My doc said thereís still time for things to happen and if I still want to labor (and keep realistic knowing a section is likely) then sheís good waiting.
L has been increasingly clingy the last month, not sure if she senses change or if itís developmental and unrelated to new baby. She loves her daddy and freaks out when he comes home from work, but she constantly wants to sit in my lap and have me hold her, which is difficult with the giant beach ball stomach and incredibly sore boobs! Poor L, Iím anxious about how sheíll handle a sibling.



 
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Old Apr 19th, 2018, 15:10 PM   6040
Apple111
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Vroggers / it must be hard with L wanting hugs with your bump. Iím sure it will be a little strange for her initially but Iím sure she will be giving little one hugs and kisses in no time. Our ds was older at 3 when O was born but we just try to make time for him to have 1:1 cuddles as much as poss. Howís L getting on with the dolly x I wonder if she will play with it more once little one arrives? How are u feeling yourself , are you getting excited x do u feel ready ? X I never felt ready for any of my 4 ha x

Well Iím not holding my breath but after a long conversation going on until 4 am last night my oh has decided that he will go and talk to someone about how he feels. I told him how I felt about this and how let down that he wouldnít even consider it when he knew it meant a lot to me. We will see. He has also decided to apply for a new job , itís doing therapy with kids. Less pay but gets him out of management and back to working with people 1:1 and there is no risk to carry like he has at the min. At the min he manages a crisis team in a&e and itís really stressful , demanding and time consuming. I did go to look at the two house as planned just in case I decide or needed to move out. One was ok and one stunk of curry really strong 😂 it made me hungry but Iím not sure Iíd like it full time haha x

Ds and O are doing great , I picked O up from nursery and he was loving it in the outside garden legging it round in sun. I always try and spy on him for a little while when I collect him to see how he is when Iím not there. He does seem to look to be happily playing but just has a meltdown when he clocks me ha.. Iím having my hair done tomorrow , Iím looking forward to that , hope u ladies are all ok x



 
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