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Old Dec 12th, 2016, 16:00 PM   1
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Pregnant and stressed

Hi, I'm new here. I joined because I need some help. I'm 19 yrs old and I'm 1 month pregnant I believe. I already told my boyfriend and he's very happy. But I'm not sure how to tell my mom. Today she got mad and said that if I turned out to be pregnant she would disown me. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like running away but I don't wan to take away her opportunity to see her grandchild. Also, I'm not sure when I should tell her. Any advice??

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Old Dec 12th, 2016, 16:29 PM   2
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 195
That's tough. My mom would have been disappointed in me if I got pregnant before I was established. But I don't think lying to her is the way to go. Maybe find a back plan and then tell her. Hope this helps.

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Old Dec 17th, 2016, 06:01 AM   3
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 2,230
People say really stupid things when they are angry, tell her as soon as you can, you are 19 not 9 and if she gives you a hard time she is just being a dick xxx Good luck, h&h 9 months xxxx

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Old Dec 17th, 2016, 06:24 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
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Location: England
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I think you should tell her as soon as possible, to give her more time to get used to the idea before baby arrives. I'm sure she won't disown you - once she's had some time to get used to the idea, she will probably be excited. My mum loves being a grandma, she says in some ways it's even better than being a mum. Good luck!

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Old Jan 4th, 2017, 11:32 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
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Is she fully supporting you or are you and your bf working? If she's fully supporting you I'd get a job first and show some independence before I tell her. Try to establish some rapport by showing her initiative and responsibility. If you're already doing all that you can then tell her now and make a plan to get your own place with your bf if you're living with her and can financially afford to be on your own. Have some sort of plan going forward that you can discuss with her, it might reassure her doubts about you. I agree with pp that people say mean things when they're stressed or angry, ignore that she said that to you, what's done is done and you can't reverse time. She can, however start treating you more respectfully if you're doing all you can to show you're doing everything in your power to be successful and carve a path.

It'd be shameful for her to not support you if that's what you're trying to do and please be aware that even in the most positive circumstances people will be cruel. My own mother has said nasty things about how she's going to refuse to babysit on occasion, refuse to buy my kids toys, clothing etc, do this that and the next thing for our children even now that I'm 41, fully established, have 2 degrees, gainfully employed (17 years with the same company), happily with my partner for 19 years (married for 10), and own 2 properties. I usually give it 24 hours before I confront her every time she's nasty and tell her how she's hurt my feelings although I'd prefer to use some choice four letter words with her. But being confrontational is not the way to get her to show compassion and get her to support me when clearly she seems to have a problem with that from the get-go! Do what you can to win her over, but realize that it'll be much easier once she sees your beautiful baby in her arms and you might have to put up with some crappy tone until then (I certainly did)!

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