It does help to have a little guy babbling mama mama all day and making me laugh with his antics, but I have such a deep ache. And you all know where my mind is going: what is wrong with me that this happened Again!
I called the OB this morning and talked to a different woman (thank god) and when I said my name, she immediately apologized (either she heard what Charlie said - he wouldn't tell me what he said, just that he made his point) and said there was no excuse. I told her I was bleeding and she said because the number was so low, it shouldn't be too bad this time. I have to go back in 2 weeks for another blood test to make sure it's at least down to 2 or lower (she said they consider 2 not pregnant).
I know Charlie is a wonderful husband and does everything for me, but he didn't even offer to stay home today! Given what I went through before, you would think he would be worried enough to just offer to stay home (granted he works 4 mins away). I think I'm just over-emotional and really could have used him home. But then I think what made me mad was he asked me: so I guess we're not going to the zoo tomorrow?
I swear to god, I almost kicked him. I know they just don't fully get it but the zoo? as if I'm going anywhere!!!
on a side note, I would guess we can't try right away, like we were going to, because they will test the blood in 2 weeks? or should I just say, the hell with it, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be????
I'm glad Charlie chewed them out.
Don't start stressing on 'what is wrong with me', because there might not be anything wrong with you. I have had two miscarriages too. One at 8.5 weeks which was awful and ended with in the hospital, and a chemical like you, a couple weeks ago. I am starting to think I have a luteal phase defect... but we'll see what happens this cycle. It's hard not to worry that we have problems, but at the same time, it's not helpful to our mental state. I know it's different for you because you are still probably emotionally raw from your MMC in Feb. I personally don't see why you would need to wait at all this time round. We didn't. Even if you go for a blood test in two weeks, you'll most likely only be ovulating then. How long are your cycles?
Don't let this discourage you. I know so many women who have had mc and chemical pregnancies in between successful ones. Hang in there Beth. We're always here for you.
It is so easy to worry, but I'm trying not to because it's just not healthy. I did have a thought, though that I wanted to run past you all because I honestly don't know if they are related.
a friend (and her sister) of mine told me to have them check my progestrone levels because they both had losses due to low numbers and were put on it to help the early pregnancies take root.....my related question is this: when I was pregnant with Poppy, I literally was one month off of birth control, which has a progestrone in it. Is that why that one was successful, because I had been taking BC for 10+ years then got pg right away? We don't seem to have an issue Getting pregnant, just staying pg.
Should I ask my dr about if they are related and check my damn numbers? I go back in 2 weeks, and I'm wondering if I should call sooner and ask....
or am I just grasping at straws? (possible)
The cramping is still there, but not too bad, bleeding like a regular period. You are right, Chris, I am still very raw from the MMC, that I still get very emotional about it. I told Charlie last night, "God forgive me, but I'm glad we didn't hear the heartbeat this time like we did with Cookie, I wouldn;t have been able to handle it." Then I started crying because how horrible is that for me to say!!?!?!?!?
I have to go fake like I'm working remotely for a few minutes. I think I ate all the chocolate and ice cream within a 50 mile radius already.
Aww I'm glad because I was afraid maybe my post came off as insensitive.
I think getting your progesterone checked is not a bad idea. I want to do the same. Like I mentioned before, I think I might have a luteal phase defect (short LP) and the treatment for that is progesterone suppositories after OV and during the first 8-10 weeks of pregnancy. If I don't get pg this cycle I am going to the doctor. This will b cycle 9. I had an appt. scheduled for July but cancelled because DH and I were on a break TTC... and for reasons that came to light in May, I believe DH was the problem. Without getting too personal, many things have changed for him these last three months and his health is on track which is why I believe I fell pg last month with one BD. However... was my CP a one off? Or do I have a Luteal Phase Defect? Time will tell. I have been charting for three months now and I seem to have a 9-11 day LP. Not great. Before I had Sophie I always ovulated on CD14 (or so I thought) and had a nice long LP. I guess with age these things change?
Beth ABSOLUTELY demand that they check your progesterone as soon as you get your bfp. They should do that anyway when they run a beta (Hcg level). With both of my pregnancies my levels were low (15) with Ethan and medium (29) with Reece at approx 4+2... My dr out me on the vaginal suppositories (much less on side effect than the oral) and I used then till 12 weeks even though she said I could quit at 9!! My feeling was I wanted to do whatever I could that might help get thru first tri (the placenta takes over around 13 weeks). JMHO but YES get that checked!
Thank you both, I appreciate your help - I honestly have no clue what mine is, low or normal or what, so I know the nurse practitioner comes in tomorrow, should I call her and ask or wait for the 2 weeks blood test? She may think I'm over emotional (which I am) and I don't know, think I'm crazy??? Maybe I can ask what it was from the time I went in this past week?
And Chris - not insensitive at all. honestly, it made me tear up (only because I know you can relate) but fortified me in a way to say, she is right, I have a healthy baby already, it is obvious I CAN have babies and stop over stressing. I took an OPK kit this month as well and saw it positive (I get the ones where the smiley face appears, I can't tell with the other ones, all the lines look the same!), but the positive smiley face appeared 3 days in a row, so we kept the bd up (and got the woo-hoo UTI, lol - oh it feels good to laugh a bit) so I O'd a day later than I normally thought I would have if I stopped the OPK on the first positive day. what that means, I have no idea, I am rambling now.
Quickly checking in to check on Beth. Hey girl how ya doing?? I think getting progesterone checked is a great idea! I asked my do for about it and got a mixed review from her nd. My oerinatologist, saying that they thought supplements did no good. HOWEVER,there's just too much information out there and I knew so many who had it that I went to my naturopath's office and got a topical progesterone to use for the first trimester. At the end of the day there were no negative side effects and it gave me piece of mind.
Beth how you feeling sweetie? I think progesterone is definitely something you should talk to your obgyn about.
Chris how are you? How was Sophie's bday?
Friday was my last day in the office. I'm officially on maternity leave. Thank goodness. I was ready to be done with work. My coworkers gave me a surprise baby shower which was really nice. I had a baby shower today. So tomorrow or Tuesday I will be at bru returning things and buying things. Csection scheduled for Wednesday Sept 4th.
How is everyone else? Jamie? Angela? Viv how was callums big day! When is the wedding. Never how are you doing?
Well I'm off to bed I have a non stress test in the morning. Have to go twice a week. I'll check back tomorrow afternoon.
Anna and Steph and everyone, thank you for checking in on me. I'm doing ok. Just sad, tired and worried. I'm blah today.
I had told my mom that I got the positive test because I was so nervous and wanted the extra prayers. She just said Oh when I told her and I said I was nervous and she said why? Took my back a bit and said, because of the miscarriage earlier. She said oh well, I guess. it will be fine though. So when I called to tell her it was ending, she said that's too bad. Then nothing else. No other call from her, knowing what I went through the last time. But she calls me Friday and is all cheery and chipper and says: "HI! so what's New???" Seriously?? I said, well, I'm still going through this miscarriage. She was silent for a minute and said, oh yeah, how it is going? when I said I was struggling a bit, she said Really?? Still?? I got off the phone real quick after that and she told me to call her back when I was in a better mood. Seriously???
She called me today and said: so I was calling to see how "you-know-what" is going.
I'm so done with her right now. She did have 2 miscarriages herself, so I don't know.
I wimped out and didn't call them yet about the progesterone. I'm so afraid they will think I'm crazy (esp since with the MMC, I was crying over the phone and one of the RN's told me to calm down, it wasn't helping anything) or overly emotional or something. I know i shouldn't care, but I do. I will try and call this week. Why the hell I have to wait 2 weeks when the number was 17 confuses me, so that is next week for the blood test.
I'm exhausted but ok. Charlie said it's up to me on when to try again, he said: you're the one dealing with the physical aspect of it, whenever you are ready, i'll be ready.
I'm going to think about it, I thinking I just want to continue this month and see where that goes.
love to you all, steph, you looked so lovely in the FB pictures at the shower!
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