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Old Mar 18th, 2015, 11:29 AM   11
40isnotold
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I was 39 before I decided I wanted to try to have a child and 40 when I got pregnant. Now, I am 41 and am due to have my twins in May. 34/35 is still young. Besides, who cares what other people think?



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Old Mar 25th, 2015, 07:08 AM   12
BabyJayne
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People and their unwanted opinions really do my nut in! I am 35, and will have just turned 36 when I have this baby. My DD will have just turned 5. We have had people asking for aaaaggges when are we having another, are we planning any more, shouldn't we be getting on with having a brother or a sister for DD etc etc. And now I think people assume we were trying for ages and couldn't get pregnant (I don't know why - may be this is just my hormones interpreting stuff wrongly), but this is how we planned it. We wanted a baby when DD was in school full time. We wanted a 4-5 year age gap. If anything, this pregnancy came a couple of months earlier that we would have ideally liked as I wanted a baby September or a bit later so it would be older in the school year. My due date is September 1st - so right on the school cut off point!!



 
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Old Mar 25th, 2015, 08:31 AM   13
LilFooshFoosh
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We just ignored people's opinions, all the comments we got came from family. It wasn't the exact same as eveyone thought we were too young when we decided to do stuff.

When we bought our house- too young, you are going to lose it and end up bankrupt (age 22)

When we were engaged- too young, haven't experienced the world, haven't seen what all is out there (age 22)

When we announced our first child- don't you want to see the world, you haven't lived your life yet now you are giving it up (age 26- this one really annoyed me, what were they expecting me to do about it? It was a planned pregnancy and I was at least 12 weeks... unbelievable)

It doesn't really matter what the situation is people have expectations of how things should be done and if you don't conform (of course without knowing what the various expectations are) you are doing it wrong.

Being a parent comes with the same comments. Sometimes snide remarks work, but I've found for me the best is to just say thank you for your input and ignore them.



 
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Old Mar 25th, 2015, 18:49 PM   14
bump2be
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Other people are funny! Who cares what they think...it's your life. I had my 1st aged 30 and my aunt madea comment about me being 'old' for having my first child. Goodness know what she thinks now I'm having a 2nd at 35



 
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Old Mar 26th, 2015, 04:02 AM   15
MrsTB
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Just say with the extortionate costs of childcare these days I had no choice but to wait til my career was more established & I was earning more...why were you going to look after this baby?!!



 
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Old Mar 26th, 2015, 10:21 AM   16
bump2be
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That's a great point Mrs. TB! No way I could have afforded childcare when I was less established in my career.



 
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Old Mar 27th, 2015, 15:09 PM   17
PurpleIvy44
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It's too bad that people just can't be happy for you! So many women are putting careers first or not finding the right person until they're in their 30's so I find that having a child in your "30's" is now the norm. I'm 38 with my 2nd and even though I was 35 with my first, no one said anything negative. I just got a lot of "we didn't think you were going to have any" and "boom" now I'll have 2 after 35.



 
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Old Mar 30th, 2015, 03:21 AM   18
Larkspur
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I'm 39 and OH is 51 and people keep asking if we're going to have a third! (No.) Rest assured that in some places, nothing is more normal than late-30s motherhood.

I find the best response to people making dire predictions is just to smile indulgently at them and say, "You may be quite right."

They will not be able to argue with you as you agreed with them, but they will be left with the uncomfortable feeling that they have not managed to bother you one little bit.



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2016, 23:50 PM   19
adrie
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My mom is the only person to have commented on the fact that she never thought I'd have kids because I was 32 for the birth of my first and will be 35 with the birth of the second. She was 18 when my sister was born, 23 with me, and 25-26 with my brother. Never finished high school, low level jobs, etc., etc. I put myself through college in my mid 20s, paid off the loan, and now work in the field with the prospect of promotion. We don't live practically hand to mouth like my parents did.

I used to respond with something to the effect of, "well, who was I supposed to have kids with"? (some exes in the past, a couple wanted kids but weren't right for me)

Finally at the last outing when she said it yet again in front of all the family (my sister and brother were there also) I said "I can't believe we all came out of you!" and everyone laughed...



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