It is sad right enough but when is there a right age to have a child? You do what you feel is right for you both.To me age is only a number.You'r right if people have nothing nice to say then don't say anything!! My kids are my life too and I just love being with them I always say if it's meant to be then so be it!!!
Mine is similar but different lol, i have 3 kid with my ex and my mum was fuming when I got pregnant for 3rd time, as my ex was an IDIOT to put it mildly and she told me to have an abortion although nowshe loves my kids so much she dotes on them but thinks 3 is to many even though she had 3!!! She was 40 when she had me by accident so she is older now and does not have much patience, I am now with my new partner who is 8 years younger than me and althouh he said he might want kids "one day" he was not reallly that bothered, but I explained at 36 that we could not wait years, so we decided to try, I know his parents will be more than thrilled they are ALWAYS asking us to have a baby and will be so super excited when we tell them, but they live 300 miles away. I am dreading telling my mum she will be so angry, say i am irresponsible, what about the kids I already have, that we dont have enough money, what about work, who will look after it etc, Im so scared to tell her, even though Im am so chuffed and excited I dont want it spoiling. So am waiting a while. Also I was ill with diabetes last time so I know she will think im stupid. Sorry for my rant and I hope when you tell your DH family it goes down ok xxxx
It makes me so mad. WHY can't family/friends be happy for you?! I'm sorry you are all getting some ugly comments.
I'm a little afraid to tell my MIL. She will act happy, but also ask questions about it being good or not, as I have some medical issues. She'll, once again, try to get me to put my kids in public school (I homeschool. My kids are my life too!), etc.
But my family will be happy for me. They know I've wanted another child, and were sad for me when I lost one a few years ago.
Just try to enjoy being pregnant. You and your dh/kids are happy with it, that's really all that matters (I know though, easier said than done).
This is my last chance of having a child and I have been blessed to fall pregnant pretty quick.I have thought about having another baby for a number of years but always put it to the back of my mind cos of his family which I know I shouldn't.Our 2 kids were born a year apart and I thought that would be it but as they have grew over the years I've felt broody.I'm not getting any younger and just feel this would be our last chance.I just wish family and friends like you say would be more supportive rather than give lectures afterall noone is perfect.I just don't have that same happiness as my last 2 pregnancies but guess worrying how it will go and starting all over again is in my thoughts a lot.
No need to apologise Jo is good to have a rant every now and then and I hope all goes well.Thanks Jo and Dorian!!! xx
I am in a situation where it makes it hard to be excited about my pregnancy. I am 34 and this is my first baby. I am healthy, very educated and responsible. My boyfriend recently divorced his wife (who he has two young children with) to be with me. Their marriage wasn't working it had nothing to do with me). He has joint custody of his children and pays significant child support. (My point being that he takes care of his kids). Anyway......his ex wife doesn't know about my pregnancy and neither does his family. i just know the negativity that will transpire when they find out. they will call me a golddigger, homewrecker, etc. it makes me sick...and not altogether happy to be pregnant.
Congratulations April I sure know exactly how you feel.It was very similar for us back then when I was pregnant with our first,his mum and dad weren't exactly thrilled at the start and 2 of his kids didn't speak to him for years.It did get better as time went on but think now will be a different story.I'm not looking forward to my husband's family being told our news.Still have 4 weeks to wait so I'll be a nervous wreck until then! I know as soon as I tell my kids they will be happy which will make me feel so much better and they are all that matter as far as I'm concerned but still don't want hassle from his side.How far on are you?Wish you all the best x
Thank you, Dee, congrats to you as well! I am just shy of nine weeks pregnant. A couple of years ago I had an abortion (which I feel horrible about), the situation I was in at the time was very abusive (emotionally) and I was very scared. After that...I didn't really know if I would get pregnant again. I was getting older and scared my fertility was declining. I met my current BF (who truly is wonderful) and i figured it is now or never. I will be 35 when my baby is born. We ended up getting pregnant immediately. This personally took me by surprise. I don't want to feel bad about this baby. I have waited my turn at this...I am just not interested in anyone's criticisms. This is my only baby...i wish people would just shut the H*ll up. (Sorry...i get upset when I think about people's righteous attitudes).
Thanks I am 8 weeks tomorrow.So sorry to hear what you went through and don't feel horrible about it,you did what was right for you.I fell pregnant in May although I had an early miscarriage.It came as a complete shock that I fell pregnant so quick and my first thought was I can't go through with this thinking of the family issues.Within a week I miscarried and felt so bad thinking it was my fault I had lost it with my negative thoughts but I knew unfortunately it was just one of these things.After much talk we said we would give it another go and here we are!I feel a lot better this time but still worry which is sad.I don't want to feel bad about this baby either cos we have been given a second chance and I just hope it all works out x
hi dee....i am in a very simular situation...im 37 with 3 children, my partner is 51 and he has 3 older children, im too worried how his children will react...my partner thinks they will love it, im very worried about telling my mum i think she will go mental...but the way i see it she dont help anyway so why should she moan, im sure it will all go well.....would be good to hear how it all goes! best of luck nikki x
Hi Nikki,great to hear from you It's hard not to worry what they will think,I remember before I fell pregnant that I couldn't care less what anyone thought but now we are here I'm dreading it!I honestly can't see his children being happy at all but at the end of day it's nothing to do with them guess you can't please everyone!How far on are you?I'm 8 weeks but not saying anything until after the scan and ave decided will get all the tests one too.Hope all goes well for you too,keep in touch xx
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