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Old May 23rd, 2009, 04:26 AM   1
littlestar
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We turned the test down...


Went to the midwife for a check up yesterday, everything is going well my blood pressure has lowered which is apparently normal.

we heard the heartbeat for a fraction of a second (i started giggling)

and she discussed the down/spina bifida blood test with us. we decided not to have it, the uncertainty of the tests accuracy bothered me. we're now 15 weeks and i've only just relaxed into being pregnant after all the upheaval with my thyroid and the anxiety surrounding that i didn't want to have to go through all the stress and unknowns again.

also potentially knowing the result could come back as high risk without proof of issues - i couldn't sit through the remainder of my pregnancy with that knowledge.

so we both decided we would rather not know if there is issues, even if the tests did come back positive i wouldn't terminate, it's taken us a year to conceive as it is.

do you think i've been selfish in deciding not to go ahead with the test?

i know there is differing opinion about bringing downs children into the world but i know several children and grown ups with downs and although i know they have many difficulties but we'd love them just the same.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:04 AM   2
soon2b6
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This is an agoniseing decision isnt it? We too decided not to have the test, I felt that it would likely come back high anyway cause Im 36 and then I would have to choose whether or not to have amnioscentesis (SP?) I feel that with a 1-2% risk of m/c it was waaay too much so why would I want the worry of the potentially poor blood test result? I have also heard about the number of false positives that this test produces.
It is a highly personal decision and I dont think there is a right answer. I do think that bringing a downs child into the world it just fine, not at all selfish, why should that childs life be less important than one without downs (or whatever) But I also understand that there are lots of other consierations with downs (heart defects and the like) but on balance we felt we couldnt do the test.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:20 AM   3
AtomicPink
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Noooo, i dont think you have been selfish!

My friend had it done and was told she had a fairly high chance, but LO is fine! All that worrying for nothing.

I refused, because nothings 100% so I dont want the worry.

Relax and enjoy it!



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:38 AM   4
charlottesma
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I turned it down this time, it was my promise to myself that after the agonising wait with Charlotte that I would not go through it again.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:45 AM   5
Eala
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I don't think you're being selfish. If getting the test would only cause you more stress, then it's not good for you! Some people want the test so they can mentally prepare themselves, but for me, I wouldn't be able to do that with just a "1 in 250" chance, if that makes sense? Like soon2b6, I wouldn't have amnio because of the mc risk, so without that definite "yes/no" I think I'd just end up torturing myself for the rest of the pregnancy.

This is such a personal decision, everyone will have their own opinion on the "best" thing to do. At the end of the day, the best thing to do, is what's best for you, and no-one is "wrong"



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:45 AM   6
soliloquise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlestar View Post
Went to the midwife for a check up yesterday, everything is going well my blood pressure has lowered which is apparently normal.

we heard the heartbeat for a fraction of a second (i started giggling)

and she discussed the down/spina bifida blood test with us. we decided not to have it, the uncertainty of the tests accuracy bothered me. we're now 15 weeks and i've only just relaxed into being pregnant after all the upheaval with my thyroid and the anxiety surrounding that i didn't want to have to go through all the stress and unknowns again.

also potentially knowing the result could come back as high risk without proof of issues - i couldn't sit through the remainder of my pregnancy with that knowledge.

so we both decided we would rather not know if there is issues, even if the tests did come back positive i wouldn't terminate, it's taken us a year to conceive as it is.

do you think i've been selfish in deciding not to go ahead with the test?

i know there is differing opinion about bringing downs children into the world but i know several children and grown ups with downs and although i know they have many difficulties but we'd love them just the same.
no you are not selfish at all. the point is that you have said you would love and want a disabled child anyway so why have the test you know? i would say you are very unselfish compared to many people.. you would love any child given to you. that is great i think and no way should you feel bad about that.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 05:51 AM   7
littlekitten8
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We opted out of the testing as well. We had decided after 3 miscarriages that there was no way we were having an amnio with its risks. So there was no point in us having the tests as if it was a high result we just would have spent the rest of the pregnancy panicking. Plus we would never abort a downs or spina bifida baby anyway so we just decided that was not something we were terribly concerned about turning down. Dont feel selfish hun cos its all personal choice and that baby will obviously be very loved no matter what.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 06:37 AM   8
ellie
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I don't think it is selfish, but actually thoughtful? my midwife was saying that most people just 'blindly' take up any tests that are available without any real consideration of the consequences of either result. From what i've read about it and like others have said the results are not very reliable and low risk doesnt mean no risk of any problem, high risk doesnt mean definitely a problem.
Frankly, after much discussion with OH, we realised that ANY result could come from any pregnancy no matter what the blood test says. You just don't know ... we are trying to be open to our child no matter what they are like (for example, you cant diagnose all potential problems in pregnancy, what if the child grows up with autism? or a mental illness? or another physical problem that occurs when they are a bit older?) and there is always some risk in bringing a child into the world. Of course we are concerned about the health of our child, but as we wouldnt terminate anyway we decided not to have any of the tests either and to stay open to whatever happens.
It's a very personal choice though and totally up to you and your OH. So don't feel bad about your decision as long as YOU are happy with it.



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 07:47 AM   9
lucilou
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I definitely don't think you're being selfish.... I had the blood tests because we decided we wanted to have as much info as possible as long as the test wasn't a risk. You know, to prepare ourselves more than everything. Luckily my result came back low risk but I can totally understand how stressful it would be to get a high risk result. To be honest, I might not have the tests next time. Getting a low risk result has reassured me about downs and spina bifida (although as I didn't get an actual number with my result it could still be as high as a 1:250 risk), but it hasn't stopped me worrying about all the other things that could still go wrong! I guess you never really know until the baby arrives, so you might as well just deal with it and take it as it comes!



 
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 07:56 AM   10
Nanaki
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I dont think you are selfish for turning the tests down, I also turn the test down because we have discussed about it and my husband understands because I am the one who is carrying the baby for 9 months, so other reasons for it, I don't want any stress/worrying it might affect the baby. I don't think I am being selfish, its my decision at the end of the day!




 
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