Think this might be a bit of a long one *sigh* Before anyone has a go I know that that 20 week scan is a medical exam used to check the health of baby. Baby is perfectly healthy from what they saw.

I had my 20 week scan yesterday. The lady doing the scan was training or something and was being supervised, so whilst I got a full commentary on what was being done I couldn't see the screen at all. The sonographer accidentally let slip that baby was a he, but she thought I hadn't heard. At the end of the scan the screen was turned around for me to see for about a minute. I was very briefly shown the spine, the heart, the arms and the legs. Baby is head down already, so they couldn't get a face profile. I know that isn't their fault, but I didn't get to see his head or face at all. Everything else was shown so briefly that I didn't really see any of it either, she kept trying to show me his arms and things, but she moved the scanner so quickly that I didn't really see anything I was about to ask if they could show me the sex when she put the scanner thingy down and the screen went off and then they threw some tissue paper at me to clean my belly up and that was that.

At that stage I asked if they could tell us the sex or not, and they said yes and that they both thought it was a boy. I was thrilled.

But overnight and today I have been thinking, and I can't help feeling that I didn't get to feel any bonding with the baby at the scan because really I didn't see him. I know it shouldn't matter. But I just feel really disappointed I didn't get to see. My 12 week scan ended up being early at 9 weeks, so I couldn't see anything really on that scan either. I just feel like I've missed out on ever properly seeing bubs whilst he's in my womb, because I won't have anymore scans now

I don't know whether it would be worth having a gender scan done privately or a bonding scan or something, because if he's still head down I guess I still won't be able to see anything?? We can't really afford it anyway unless OH gets offered a job soon, or perhaps I could ask for it as an early christmas present?

How were they with you when you had your private scans? Did you get to see baby for long?

Sorry this is so long. And sorry it's not explained very well, it's hard to describe how i feel, because I don't want people to think i'm ungrateful, or missing the point that baby is healthy. I am grateful all is okay, i just thought my scan would be a great experience and it wasn't.

xx

i would definately say to have a private scan, he will most likely have moved & not be head down at your next one so you should get a good view of his face. They are really worth the money.

If you have the money then go for it hun!
I had a private gender scan at 18 weeks as my anomaly scan was booked for about 22 weeks and i dont regret it for a second!
x

Hun if you feel that disappointed, then book another scan. You could try waiting another week and see if you feel the same go for it. It's surprising how disappointing scans can become for whatever reason, and I think there is more emphasis now than ever before on experiencing seeing your baby. You could also try giving some feedback to your midwife at next appointment so it doesnt happen to someone else. Good luck lovely. x

Hey, get an early xmas present and go for a private scan! I have mine booked for a couple of weeks before my 20 week scan because i just cant wait and fortunately we have the money. At my 12week scan i was fortunate enough to see the baby for quite some time but i have read a lot of people have had similar experiences to you. I also think that having a private scan means you can ask more questions and take longer looking at the screen as you are paying for it so wont feel so bad. Thats my opinion anyway.

i have to say too hon, if i were you i'd probably book a private scan, we had an early one and a 4d one, and i found them both wonderful experiences, so if money does allow, i'd probably go for it xx

Ooh sorry she was like that, when i had my 20 week scan she was VERY patronising as it was my second 20 week scan because at the one before they couldnt get her head so asked me to go back. i knew she was healthy after the scan and asked.. she patronised me basicaly saying i didnt care about the health.. she rushed the scan too.


ANYWAY i think u should deffo get a private scan,the best thing ive done SO friendly (as their getting paid for it not NHS)LOL and u wll deffinatly have a peace of mind knowing what sex ur baby is AND bond, 4d ones are great too x

Thanks everyone I'm glad you can see what I mean. I was worried people might thing I was awful for not being overjoyed. I am absolutely thrilled he's healthy, I just wish I could have seen him! I think him being a little man would have been more real if I'd seen it for myself too. xx

Hunny
when id my private scan it was fantastic, the sonographer had the screen to herself
and we seen everything on a 50'' plazma right besise me, Hands, fingers and toes, eye sockets, etc EVERYTHING baby tunrning and wriggling and waving and kicking
was AMAZING..

If my 20wk fails to satisify me like yours or baby has legs crossed il deffo use the excuse just to book a private gender

There is no comparison with the private scan i had it was amazing everything was explained in dept, seen the heartrate on the screen an actual graph of the bpm and she switched on sound for the heartbeat ...

my private was utterly amazing , Loved every single second of it..
DEFFO RECOMMEND xx

I would definitely recommend a private scan! Ours was fantastic. Sonographer was a doll. Showed us everything we asked, plus got like 8 photos, and i even asked her to get a certain foto (of her little foot) and as you can see in my avatar pic- shes got her little foot above her head!!! Amazing! Im so chuffed with everything about how it went. Even the receptionist was lovely.

This baby will only ever be in there ONCE. You have every right to feel the way you do, its extremely special to all mummies-to-be!

If you are disappointed for a second...id say go for the scan sweetie!! You'l never regret it!

xxxxx