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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 02:12 AM   1
lillypad123
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struggling to be happy


First off please dont judge, i know im very lucky to be pregnant.

Well here goes..
Im nearly 16 weeks, this will be number 3, the first and last for my partner and me. This pregnancy was discussed big time and was very much planned. As far as i was concerned i was happy with the two i have and wasnt looking to add to my clang but my partner wanted to have one together.
Anyway, as it goes im nearly 16 weeks and not happy to be pregnant!! Im over the morning sickness, the tiredness, ive had to stop work so finding it hard not bringing anything in, im not looking forward to the ex's finding out, im not looking forward to telling the kids.
Yes last time round i had post natal depression and im hoping it hasnt started again ans this early, i just wish i could get excited about it, everyone else seems to be but me, im just not enjoying it this time round.

Has anyone else felt this way before?

Thanks for not judging



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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 02:29 AM   2
Mummafrog
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I don't judge you at all but I don't really have anything to share with you either.. I just wanted to send and I hope things pick up for you soon. Maybe when baby starts kicking you, you'll start to connect and I'm sure your kids will be so excited and that might help you feel more excited too.
One way or another you will fall madly in love with this baby, it's just taking you a little longer than others to adjust to the change. Maybe don't put pressure on yourself to feel things right away? And don't judge yourself, just let the love come naturally when it will. This is my first baby and at 16 weeks I was still worried because I felt disconnected, even though I was deeply excited and happy, but I'm slowly connecting and my head is catching up with my heart about it all



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 02:57 AM   3
1eighty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lillypad123 View Post
Yes last time round i had post natal depression and im hoping it hasnt started again ans this early, i just wish i could get excited about it, everyone else seems to be but me, im just not enjoying it this time round.
awwww hun, the hormones are messing with you and it may have caused a slight depression in you already. have you spoken to a doctor at all? they might be able to recommend something you can do to help. up here (scotland) they suggest extra vitamin D and omega oils - you're in the middle of summer there so i imagine sunshine is the least of your worries! but perhaps some omega oils would help a little?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummafrog View Post
Maybe don't put pressure on yourself to feel things right away? And don't judge yourself, just let the love come naturally when it will.
^ this, very much this. i'm also having trouble connecting with this baby (for different reasons though) but i'm putting faith in time and hoping that when the kicks start becoming regular and defined that the connection will also come.


the more pressure you put on yourself, the worse things will be when you can't live up to your own expectations. so, don't put those expectations on yourself and just take things one day at a time.

hugs!



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 03:08 AM   4
OnyxSnowfall
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Maybe you should speak to your Doctor/Midwife about it? You shouldn't have to continue on feeling so down :/



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 05:04 AM   5
lazymum
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I would certainly talk to the doctor and may be go for some extra supplements. However I think it is not surprising you are in two minds and can not just relax into a new baby excitement. It is your third baby and a new partner so you life is more complicated than it was in your first pregnancy. A lot of thinks to worry about.
I am in my third pregnancy as well but still feel unsure. I know that we desperately need a bigger house ( and there is no prospects of getting one soon). I am really concerned how I am going to work because I need to travel a lot for work and it is going to be difficult with a toddler and a new baby. I worry about money, about my relationships with friends, husband, older child as I never have time for anyone…. So there are a lot of things on our plates. We a bit older and wiser and I am not surprise we are more concerned then happy at this point.
Hope it is going to change soon.



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 08:26 AM   6
Miss406
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I feel exactly the same...
Baby was very much wanted but a bit of a surprise at the same time and in the first few weeks I was just shocked, now I am over the shock I just feel unhappy too for a lot of reasons.
Huge



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 09:03 AM   7
Linnypops
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Aw love, it's obviously quite a stressful situation for you, it'd be odd not to be feeling a little uncertain about things especially since you've previously suffered PND and will not be wanting that to happen again. I think any woman would be having mixed feelings. The good thing is you are better equipped now, having been through it before, to tackle it head on before the baby is born etc? Chatting to your mw would probably help as other ladies have suggested?

Also, as other ladies have said, there's no right or wrong feelings about things, excitement will come when it's the right time - I also find it hard because i mc'd v shortly before this pregnancy and have had 2 spotting/bleeding episodes. Even after my 12 week scan went great I still felt like i couldn't properly connect....So, go easy on yourself, one day at a time X



 
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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 21:44 PM   8
lillypad123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1eighty View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lillypad123 View Post
Yes last time round i had post natal depression and im hoping it hasnt started again ans this early, i just wish i could get excited about it, everyone else seems to be but me, im just not enjoying it this time round.
awwww hun, the hormones are messing with you and it may have caused a slight depression in you already. have you spoken to a doctor at all? they might be able to recommend something you can do to help. up here (scotland) they suggest extra vitamin D and omega oils - you're in the middle of summer there so i imagine sunshine is the least of your worries! but perhaps some omega oils would help a little?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummafrog View Post
Maybe don't put pressure on yourself to feel things right away? And don't judge yourself, just let the love come naturally when it will.
^ this, very much this. i'm also having trouble connecting with this baby (for different reasons though) but i'm putting faith in time and hoping that when the kicks start becoming regular and defined that the connection will also come.


the more pressure you put on yourself, the worse things will be when you can't live up to your own expectations. so, don't put those expectations on yourself and just take things one day at a time.

hugs!
We're not quiet in the mid of summer yet, have only had a couple hot hot days but i know what you mean, i bope it dose get better because i dont want to have this baby and feel the way i do, thanks



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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 21:47 PM   9
lillypad123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazymum View Post
I would certainly talk to the doctor and may be go for some extra supplements. However I think it is not surprising you are in two minds and can not just relax into a new baby excitement. It is your third baby and a new partner so you life is more complicated than it was in your first pregnancy. A lot of thinks to worry about.
I am in my third pregnancy as well but still feel unsure. I know that we desperately need a bigger house ( and there is no prospects of getting one soon). I am really concerned how I am going to work because I need to travel a lot for work and it is going to be difficult with a toddler and a new baby. I worry about money, about my relationships with friends, husband, older child as I never have time for anyone…. So there are a lot of things on our plates. We a bit older and wiser and I am not surprise we are more concerned then happy at this point.
Hope it is going to change soon.
Thanks, yes we are in the same boat, we will be fitting 7 of us into a 3 bedroom house and we have no hope of moving as houses are expensive here after what happened 3 years ago! So the house we habe now is the one we will have for a very long time,
I have midwife next week and will talk to her about it, thanks



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Old Jan 6th, 2014, 21:48 PM   10
lillypad123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss406 View Post
I feel exactly the same...
Baby was very much wanted but a bit of a surprise at the same time and in the first few weeks I was just shocked, now I am over the shock I just feel unhappy too for a lot of reasons.
Huge
I am so happy im not the only one feeling this way.
Thanks, hope things start looking better for you too



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