Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jun 15th, 2016, 08:19 AM   11
Tanikins
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 6,818
One of my close friends is due 5 weeks after me. This is the best thing ever. We can share our awful preggo stories to people who understand.

She sounds very selfish and not a good friend.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 15th, 2016, 11:57 AM   12
Miss_Cellany
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South East, UK
Posts: 890
When I was pregnant with my first my best friend fell pregnant with her second and was about 3 months behind me. It was lovely and meant we had maternity leave together and now our little boys are growing up together.

If she can't be happy for you and is that self centred she's not a very good friend.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 15th, 2016, 12:35 PM   13
Nikko88
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Maine
Posts: 790
We are friends with people for a lot of different reasons. If she's not giving you a reason to make an effort, it's okay to let the friendship fall by the wayside or devolve to acquaintanceship.

Especially long term friendships where your expectations of the relationship don't match up to the reality. Doesn't mean you need to stop talking to her. Just understand that if you are disappointed in the interactions, you needed go out of your way to keep it going.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 15th, 2016, 12:40 PM   14
beanzz
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,406
With my first pregnancy 2 of my friends were also pregnant and it was great, we were all excited for each other and talked babies constantly! We all visited eachother and new arrivals after we gave birth and still meet up to this day for hang outs with the kids... To me that's friendship. With this pregnancy them two were the first out of our friends that I told. If I felt like I had to hide it from them for any reason other than not being ready to tell I wouldn't class them as true friends

Tell her! And if she reacts badly and somehow makes you out to be a bad friend just for being pregnant at the same time as she isn't really your friend and you know not to waste too much energy on her xx



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 16th, 2016, 07:05 AM   15
rosegarden620
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 770
Thanks everyone!! I really appreciate all the sound advice you all have given. I think I am going to tell her, expect nothing and just stop making an effort.

I dont really gain anything from our friendship, sadly. She doesn't make half the effort I do to talk to her and that's not even the bulk of it.

I guess I was just holding on to the fact that she is one of my oldest friends, but I understand that doesn't always equate to a healthy relationship. My last pregnancy she wasn't exactly "there" and that was fine because plenty of other people were. It's not like her friendship is all I have. I have real friends who love and care about me. Last pregnancy there was a good 4 months we did not speak! I was practically due when she called me!

So I'll just wait for her to call me and tell her then. The truth is, we aren't close enough where me being pregnant should be any type of news for her.

I feel better reading all your replies. Thank you for your kindness !



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 16th, 2016, 07:15 AM   16
campn
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Flori-duh
Posts: 4,881
Rose, I also had a fall out with my bestfriend of so many years for about 4-5 years over completely nothing. When we started talking again it was nice but it wasn't like before, it was so different the second time around. People really change and even if they don't, it's a completely new relationship you've to start all over again. We can't go back to where we left it at. It hurts, but somehow you won't be too upset.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 16th, 2016, 09:41 AM   17
rosegarden620
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by campn View Post
Rose, I also had a fall out with my bestfriend of so many years for about 4-5 years over completely nothing. When we started talking again it was nice but it wasn't like before, it was so different the second time around. People really change and even if they don't, it's a completely new relationship you've to start all over again. We can't go back to where we left it at. It hurts, but somehow you won't be too upset.
This!
After those three years thing just never picked back up. Which was ok bc before the three years things were rocky for the most part.

I was the friend who almost had no
Life and after those three years I very much had a life and a career and a loving husband.

I'm sure it was odd for her to see.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 16th, 2016, 13:25 PM   18
Tasha S.
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 845
I wouldn't stay friends with a woman like that! It sounds like a one-way friendship to me! I would stop reaching out to her, and see if she reaches out. I would also tell her that I'm pregnant, and if she doesn't like it, I would tell her how selfish she sounds. It might end your friendship, but it might help her understand why her other relationships aren't so fulfilling.

She might be used to being the centre of attention due to how she was raised. She might not have any bad intentions, but her behaviour definitely needs to stop and she needs to grow up!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 17th, 2016, 19:51 PM   19
DannaD
Waiting To Try (WTT)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 914
Text her saying ''Hey! I'm pregnant!'' and wait for her to answer, which she probably won't, and burn that bridge. Time shouldn't be the only reason to keep a friendship.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jun 18th, 2016, 13:44 PM   20
rosegarden620
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 770
It's been two weeks of minimal to no effort of reaching out for her and she has not reached out for me.

So, I see where this is going.

Thanks!! We will see how long it takes for her to contact me but I believe it'll be a "never" thing.



 
Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO