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Old Dec 17th, 2009, 19:35 PM   1
Shocklee16
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My baby's daddy left me the other day


SORRY THIS IS SO LONG! BUT PLEASE READ AND HELP ME! :'(

So the night it happened everything was going great. We went out with his mom and they were all drinking at the restaurant. Then we get home and I ask him about some girl he added on his myspace. We fought and now we are no more. Its such a long story...but I am so hurt. I have not been able to really eat and sleep. I packed my stuff and moved to my grandma's. He said he wanted to still be friends and that I could still live there with him and his mom. But it would just make everything more hard and worse on me. I cant do this on my own. I dont understand. He says he just wants to be alone now...why??? I have never done anything to him. He says I treat him like shit and I only care about myself. He just lost his job the other day and everything from there has gone down hill. I dont even want to live anymore. I have been looking for jobs like crazy too support all of us, even though he doesnt wanna be with me. But idk what to do. I cry all the time and everyone tells me it can only get better. But I need him in my life. He says he will be there to care for me and little ethan but idk...why does this have to happen to me??? Im so sad and heartbroken. He is the only guy I have ever really loved. he is my firsy true love. What do I do?? Im trying to give him space but it is just so hard. Im so lost without him here with me. I just want to die. If I was not carrying our child I would have been dead already....this is by far the worst thing that has happened too me. He still wants to go to my doctors appt's but after all this idk if I even want him too, or for that matter idk if I even want him in the delivery room when I have our baby...I am honestly lost and clueless...I miss him so bad and he acts like nothing has really happened...he dosnt show any emotion or acts like it bothers him. I asked him if he is still in love with me and he just said that he does love me but not in love with me...but see im so confused. Because like I said everything that night was going great. What could have changed in a few minutes? Or a few hours?? Please help me! I really need some guidance and some help too get through this....this is not healthy for me or my baby. I cant stop crying. I hurt sooo bad and im so broken right now. I did everything too make him happy...I hope he has a change of heart when or before our child gets here. He is just being a 19 year immature douche bag...but I still love him despite how badly he has hurt me.



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 00:05 AM   2
catfromaus
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didn't want to read and run hun, hope everything starts to look up for you and that this is just temporary. Try to find someone to talk to about things, don't let them get bottled up. Its not good for you- or LO.

Cat
xxx



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 00:48 AM   3
bek74
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I'm sorry that this is all happening, but please don't use bubs to get back at him. Allow him to attend scans, appointments and be there when HIS and YOUR baby is born, all these milstones and steps in beans life can't be given back once you deny him them.
I am sorry to say it like this but he has left you, not the baby. Maybe in time and during the rest of your pregnancy things may change, you guys may work things out. Maybe him losing his job, a baby on the way, maybe he is overwhelmed and stressed out, men sometimes (most times) have troubling dealing with challanging situations.

As to wishing you were dead, thats terrible, nobody is worth taking your life over and you need to keep in mind all the things you have to be thankful for.
Having lost two family members to suicide, it isn't a nice statement to make.

I hope everything works out for you



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 01:22 AM   4
better2gether
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It sounds like all the stress he was under just made him snap. Perhaps you asking about some girl on myspace was the last straw for him. Believe me, I know about myspace. My boyfriend and I had a good week or so were that was ALL we fought about. We fought because it was barely dressed girls and I thought it was disrespectful towards me. He didn't see it that way. At the end of the day, I KNEW he would never mess around on me. At that time, pregnancy was really miserable for me and I was taking it out on him. I still don't think what he did was right... But looking back (and having the hormones settle a wee bit), I see that I have to pick my battles. And fighting over myspace is not something I'm proud of. Seems so petty.

At the same time, your boyfriend said that he isn't in love with you anymore. You shouldn't want someone who doesn't want you. Hun, you are MUCH better than that. You deserve MUCH better. I know it hurts now, but you should let things be. If you two were meant to be together, then let him come back to you. If he never does, he was never fully in it to begin with. You don't want to keep pushing and pushing him. That will only cause more resentment and anger. Just focus on you and the baby. Relax, rest, pamper yourself! I'm sorry you're going through this.



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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 02:35 AM   5
jackie.d
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im so sorry that you are going through this. i remember when my first love came back from iraq (army) and he broke it off with me.. said the same things. i thoiught i was going to die aswell and was the first time i felt pain like that. but im still here and if that hadnt have happened i wouldnt have everything i hvae now. i know its going to be so hard for you hun and i can imagine the pain you are feeling. but you will get through this and if you dont get back together with him you will have a beautiful little baby their to give all your love too and who will love you so much more in return. i know this wont help but you will be ok hunni, just focus everything on your beautiful little baby. xx loads of hugs xxxx



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 11:08 AM   6
marie-louise
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aww hun, I know you must be heartbroken but please try and focus on the fact that you are carrying something so precious and you need to be in good health for ethan's best interests. It is very rare for people to remain with their first loves all their lives, I remember when my ex and I broke up when I was 19 I was devastated and I thought I would never be able to feel normal again. It took a few months but slowly I healed and now I am married and so so happy with my hubby, I look at my ex now and thank god we broke up. I understand that it is more complicated in your case as you are pregnant but there is no point in torturing yourself by staying with someone who doesn't want to be with you, it will wear you down and you will become more and more insecure which isn't good for you or ethan. I would recommend that you go to the docs to talk about the low feelings you are having, surround yourself with family and friends who love you and look to the future as a yummy mummy!!! Good luck hun and look after yourself xx



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 11:24 AM   7
Zen_Jenn
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I don't have much to add, I think Marie-Louise did a pretty good job.
I broke up with my first love at 22 after 5 years of dating, I thought I was going to die, and couldn't eat for weeks. I think it's one of the hardest things to deal with. But it will make you stronger.
Find some music that makes you feel good, keep busy, surround yourself with friends and family. Try to move on, and don't hold out for reconciliation. Be strong for your baby, he needs a strong mummy.



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 11:38 AM   8
Cerellia
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@ Shocklee

You have to be strong! Don't tell yourself you can't do it. You can, it's all for your baby!
First, make sure, you are not alone. Can you talk to your grandmother? Or a close friend? You need people around you who care about you.
Secondly, think about how to get things sorted, financially. The baby has a right to get allimony payments from the father. If he (or his parents) can't pay them, the social welfare office should help out (though I don't know how this is like in the US).
Anyway: Don't wallow in sorror but think ahead: How you will manage your life with the baby, where will you raise it, ect.



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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 12:38 PM   9
Beltane
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I think you should get some time away from him. Sounds like his testicles haven't dropped yet! Stay strong!



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2009, 15:29 PM   10
xpatchx
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I think everyone is right, if he isn't in love with you, then he isn't. And you have to be strong for your little boy BUT... why stay with you until now, have a baby with you, let it get this far, and do this now? what a silly time to do it. I know he can't help his feelings, but he must have been in love with you 23 weeks ago or else you and your turkey baster had a hell of a time.

I think he picked a terrible time to tell you, and he could have waited for yours and the babies sake, or he should have told you before you got pregnant.

I know I'd feel exactly the same if I lost my partner. My world revolves around him. But I'd find it somewhere to cope. You will too. Be strong. We're here for you x



 
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