I'm so sorry this happened to you, we were supposed to be team yellow last time and the tech blurted it out , totally ruined it.. this time I know before even jumping on the table to tell her and learning from you I know not to read the patient portal report because our office works like yours , an email that reports new information , new test results, new after visit summaries ect. So I'll know to not even go in there! I'm sorry it was ruined for You! I'm not sure if it may bring you comfort to know you possibly have saved other women the same upset by posting this!!
this is so rough mama! I am so sorry. I'd be so furious, and I know with hormones the intensity of that is outrageous sometimes. I couldn't help but laugh when you said your MIL being wrong would cheer you up a tad, I feel the SAME way about my MIL.
that being said, take a few days and be angry, but then be happy! You are having an (i'm assuming) healthy child, and although the surprise was a tad ruined, she could be wrong? Keep treating this situation like team yellow. No one has to know! Although it might be *ruined* and this is your last experience, hopefully there are some silver linings in this.
I would be so so so pissed though if that happened, so that being said every feeling is totally justified. I just hope you can find some peace in it!!
I got a reply back from the ultrasound department about the accidental gender reveal:
... We normally have procedures in place that alert me for patients that are wanting the results hidden, and there was a malfunction somehow along the line that this alert did not display on your account. I try to send out the copies to all other patients that are not wanting this confidential so that the patient can have a digital copy of the babies ultrasound for permanent records. This was an unfortunate mistake and I am so sorry.
So they do have a system in place, and someone legitimately forgot to add it to my account.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Honestly I wanted to go team yellow with this baby but at our early scan, the tech kind of let it slip. She didn't actually say that it was a boy at first because we told her we didn't want to know, but she did say that she could see what it was before she even looked between the legs, so I figured it was a boy. I finally asked her at the end of the ultrasound and she said yes, it was a boy. Totally ruined it. I can't believe techs think that everybody wants to know even when they say that they don't.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It's always a surprise when you find out, but you should be able to pick when that happens. I had a nurse at my last Ob practice who basically told me I should pick out some boy's names after she pressed me to tell her what I *thought* I was having. One of the reasons I have since switched practices. This time around, baby has been diagnos d with a condition far more likely to happen in males (70%--and with a much milder outcome for males too) so husband is sure it's a boy and I was kind of hoping for girl since this is the last chance for us, but now I'm just like, whoever, just have a normal head and please make it.
The scan we had at children's hospital, the tech noted that they don't even write down gender when we made our request known. Helped a bit to be distracted by our toddler in the room too.
I hope you are able to make peace with this situation. Pregnancy is tough all around, and it stinks that you were the one to get hit with clerical error.
I sort of had this happen with LO. I was suspecting girl and the ring test/Chinese Gender predictor confirmed my suspicions but DH and I wanted to stay Team Yellow so I told the tech at my 20 week scan I didn't want to know. The thing is they have a screen on the wall that they turn on during the anatomy scan so you can watch the baby and when the tech went to get the femur measurement, she got an accidental potty shot because of the position of the baby's leg. But it was fast that I sort of convinced myself that I could still have been wrong. I wasn't though and it did spoil the fun of having a yellow bump but in the end, there was always a chance that I was wrong so I just figured I was probably right but maybe not.
And yes, they can be wrong. My aunt found out she was having a boy at 26 weeks or something like that. She had to have back surgery as soon as she delivered so she figured she'd find out and have all her stuff ready to go since she couldn't be up and around for a few weeks after delivery/surgery. Then she had her baby and almost fell off the bed when the dr told her it was a girl and there was no doubting it. Somehow they thought they saw boy parts when in reality it was just the umbilical cord.
Aww, I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, and it's nice that they've apologised for their error. Plus, excellent that MIL is wrong :P It might be that she's someone who just prefers children over babies, and not that she's intentionally favouring your oldest. One can hope, anyway. You can always threaten DH that he'd better be super nice to you in the delivery room or you'll tell him the gender just before baby pops out :P
I unfortunately had something similiar happen. A bit of background: DH and I had been trying for almost 2½ years to conceive, had been through 6 failed IUIs (all BFNs) and 2 IVFs before conceiving our baby (had also 2 CPs, one after our 7th natural cycle trying and after IVF #1). We'd decided that gender was totally unimportant as we were super happy to just be pregnant after all that so we told our regular techs and the 2 doctors at the hospital we didn't want to know. It went fine until my very last scan which was a growth scan (my midwife suspected me of having a big baby). The doctor knew we didn't want to know but then a tech we hadn't seen very much came in to look and said "Yep, it's very obvious what baby is!" Wow I was so pissed! So DH and I highly suspected we were having a boy based on that comment which was correct.
Glad they apologised though! I don't think we ever got one from that thoughtless tech
Any opinions, advice, statements or other information expressed or made available on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com by users or third parties, including but not limited to bloggers, are solely those of the respective user or other third party. They do not reflect the opinions of BabyandBump.Momtastic.com and they have not been reviewed by a physician, psychologist or parenting expert or any member of the BabyandBump.Momtastic.com staff for accuracy, balance or objectivity. Content and other information presented on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical or mental health advice from your physician or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com. BabyandBump.Momtastic.com does not endorse any opinion, advice, statement, product, service or treatment made available on the website. If you think you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services immediately.