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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 22:15 PM   11
KatBar
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Agreeing with finding out privately first.
We had a rough road TTCing - IVF to get our first little man, and then x2 embryo transfers that ended in MC, and a natural chemical mc, and now pregnant successfully (to date) with another little boy. I honestly thought I'd not give a shit about gender after all I'd been through trying to get our miracles, yet when I found it was another boy, my insides kind of sank a little. I was actually disappointed at myself for being disappointed to be honest. But after spending a few days thinking my feelings through, I realised that I wasnt disappointed that our Bub was a boy, I was just mourning the fact we'd never know what it was like to have a girl. I'm now well over any disappointment and cannot wait to meet this little man in Jan !
Given you already know that you want a girl, I really think it'll be good for you to have that time to yourself, to process your feelings before then announcing in front of all the friends and family. That of course, is if you are having another boy.. but you never know, it could be a girl still. Good luck !



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 00:28 AM   12
laura109
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I found out first time i was having a girl. This time i went thriugh a stage thinking id love to have a boy but i bet i wont be able to have one. My mum had 4 girls & longed for a boy so i figured I wouldn't have a boy. but at 14 weeks i was told its a boy. I personally feel like i have to know so i can plan.

If you dont find out will you imagine what you want for 9 months and be disappointed or would you struggle for 9 months and feel disappointed. I think it depends how you handle things. I am so impatient and need to be organised in my head thats why i choose to find out. You have a 50/50 chance so you never know x



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 00:55 AM   13
Talia12
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Definitely find out first. you already know how you feel about this and it's completely understandable that you do - you just need to prepare yourself. And I completely understand about those comments - I've said to dh, if we do find out and it's a boy, we're going to tell people we decided not to find out. Because my sister had two boys and the second time around she got comments like "never mind" and "maybe next time" and I do NOT want those kinds of reactions when I announce my baby's gender! People wouldn't say that about a newborn, but they think it's kind of fair game for a foetus...! So that's my plan.
I do hope you get your girl but either way it'll be amazing and the reveal will be fun! Update us



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 10:52 AM   14
Johnsa37
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I just wanted to thank each of you for commenting! All of your responses really hit the nail on the head. I do need time to personally process before sharing it with friends and family. I am going to find out today - not sure my husband is going to, but I am fine if he wants it to be a surprise on Sunday.

It is DEFINITELY not that I wouldn't love another little boy -- I do think another boy would be better for our son -- it is just that I would be sad that we won't be able to raise a little girl. I will come back and update after the scan this afternoon! Fingers crossed!

THANK YOU all for the virtual support! I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this, so thank you!!!!



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 11:02 AM   15
mandaa1220
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Can't wait to hear!!! Good luck!!

I know exactly how you feel! I never spoke to my friends in RL about it, because I didn't want to sound like a bad mom!



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 11:15 AM   16
Eleanor ace
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You're definitely making the right choice, you don't want your party to be filled with stress and anxiety waiting to find out the gender! Good luck at your scan



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 12:27 PM   17
Stormynights
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Good luck with your scan!



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 15:04 PM   18
second.time
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Good luck at your scan!

I think you're being smart to find out. I wanted to go yellow for my second but actually decided to find out the gender during my NIPT because I didn't want to spend nine months having everyone saying things about a girl, or hoping for a girl, and risk feeling disappointed at my son's birth. I really liked having that time to mentally prepare.

To my surprise, finding out about the second boy wasn't nearly as upsetting as I thought. I had a day or two of getting used to never having a daughter, but I very quickly embraced the idea of two boys and bonded with the baby. I also haven't had anybody say anything negative. When I told people we were having a second boy, I was afraid they'd say insensitive things, but strangers and family have all been so enthusiastic and excited for me. Maybe they can pick up on my own happiness.

It also helps that my second son is here and is such a wonderful baby I wouldn't trade him for any other baby.

But you shouldn't feel bad about any negative emotions you have. I DID get depressed and disappointed during the first pregnancy and it was hard. It's a natural reaction, it's hard to give up the idea of a daughter. So if you find out you're having a boy this time, I hope you'll be gentle with yourself over any negative emotions you have.



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 16:04 PM   19
Johnsa37
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Thanks for all the kind words. It's another boy. I definitely need some time to process and come to terms.



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 16:14 PM   20
mandaa1220
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnsa37 View Post
Thanks for all the kind words. It's another boy. I definitely need some time to process and come to terms.
Ive been checking in hoping all was well. Seriously don't feel bad about taking time for yourself. It's 100% okay to feel how you do. There's a gender disappointment group here that may be helpful.



 
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