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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 17:10 PM   21
Talia12
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I have no doubt at all that you'll be okay, because you gave yourself permission to feel this way and it's completely understandable. But take a little bit of time to process and don't worry about what other people think - oh and vent to us if you feel the need.
Hugs and congratulations on your two little best friends!



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 17:22 PM   22
mandaa1220
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Also something cute to think of with two little boys is matching Jammie's on Christmas morning... ugh I love brothers in matching Jammie's!!!!



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2017, 18:54 PM   23
second.time
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Congratulations on your little boy! And take all the time you need to process and come to peace with any gender disappointment you may have. I hope your family and friends are supportive and loving to help you welcome your new baby.

One thing that upset me was thinking another boy would be more of the same. A girl would be new/different. I kept imagining my second as a perfect copy of my first. But he shocked me by looking very different from his brother. And his personality is different so far, though he's only a few weeks old. This boy will be a new person, totally different and exciting, even if he's a second boy. But I know letting go of the idea of a girl can be hard, and deserves its own process of healing.



 
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Old Jul 29th, 2017, 01:07 AM   24
laura109
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Congratulations and I think you will get excited now as your process it. You will love him and feed him and care for him regardless. In a years time you wouldn't trade h for the world. Also when we are pregnant we can only bond so much with our bumps. Its hard to imagine loving them as much as your other child but that's because we already know our other child. He will have his own amazing personality and looks and i think you will simply fall in love. But its also perfectly ok to of wanted a girl. Just be open as you have been and all will be ok x



 
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Old Jul 29th, 2017, 05:17 AM   25
MrsButterfly
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Congratulations on your boy. I know how hard it is to process your thoughts after finding that out. Go easy on yourself and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Talk to trusted people if you can that you know won't judge. I came to terms with everything while pregnant but didn't bond with my second bump in the way I did my first and I'm sure part of that was the gender disappointment. But now he's here I just adore him and wouldn't trade him for anything. Altho I do still try and avoid looking too much at the baby girl clothing sections in shops... big hugs. Feel free to drop me a message if it's helpful to chat as I've been right where you are now but have come through the other side, and I promise you, it's great.



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 11:43 AM   26
Johnsa37
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Originally Posted by MrsButterfly View Post
Congratulations on your boy. I know how hard it is to process your thoughts after finding that out. Go easy on yourself and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Talk to trusted people if you can that you know won't judge. I came to terms with everything while pregnant but didn't bond with my second bump in the way I did my first and I'm sure part of that was the gender disappointment. But now he's here I just adore him and wouldn't trade him for anything. Altho I do still try and avoid looking too much at the baby girl clothing sections in shops... big hugs. Feel free to drop me a message if it's helpful to chat as I've been right where you are now but have come through the other side, and I promise you, it's great.
Thank you, this is just what I needed to hear. I have been crying way too much since Friday. I really don't feel like I am connecting with this one like I did with my first. Even after seeing the ultrasound pictures... we haven't bought a THING yet. We haven't talked about names, and we haven't even discussed room arrangements, nursery, etc.. I actually feel horrible even mentioning this....

I keep telling myself that I will feel better and get more excited after receiving good news (hopefully!!!) at my anatomy scan later in August.



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 11:45 AM   27
Johnsa37
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Originally Posted by laura109 View Post
Congratulations and I think you will get excited now as your process it. You will love him and feed him and care for him regardless. In a years time you wouldn't trade h for the world. Also when we are pregnant we can only bond so much with our bumps. Its hard to imagine loving them as much as your other child but that's because we already know our other child. He will have his own amazing personality and looks and i think you will simply fall in love. But its also perfectly ok to of wanted a girl. Just be open as you have been and all will be ok x
Thank you!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I WILL get excited... once I stop crying.. seriously, I am ridiculous... But I do know that I will be just fine eventually!



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 11:53 AM   28
Johnsa37
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Congratulations on your little boy! And take all the time you need to process and come to peace with any gender disappointment you may have. I hope your family and friends are supportive and loving to help you welcome your new baby.

One thing that upset me was thinking another boy would be more of the same. A girl would be new/different. I kept imagining my second as a perfect copy of my first. But he shocked me by looking very different from his brother. And his personality is different so far, though he's only a few weeks old. This boy will be a new person, totally different and exciting, even if he's a second boy. But I know letting go of the idea of a girl can be hard, and deserves its own process of healing.
That is so very true!!! Thank you for the reminder. I do keep picturing an exact replica of my son, but I also know that they can be SO different. I will be fine... eventually!



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 12:50 PM   29
laura109
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Ahh don't worry cry away!!! Its ok to wander about the what ifs and it doesn't make you a bad person because you wanted to experience a daughter and but girls things for a change. You will get there! Its not as easy to be excited second time around even without gender disappointment. Its chaotic!!! I feel like i am so overwhelmed knowing how much we need to do bedroom wise etc. also my toddler interupts my thought and ny appointments lol!! Its just a totally different experience isn't it. But one day you will love saying my boys!! Its rubbish but dont be hard on yourself because you are not bonding. Its only a blurry image on a screen and a bloated belly in many ways. Until we lay our eyes on them its not that easy to bond. I have moments of excitement now but to be honest the first 17 weeks were just abit rubbish. Keep chatting on here and give yourself time. No rush to find a name etc. even if you wait another 6 weeks plus xx



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 14:26 PM   30
MrsButterfly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsButterfly View Post
Congratulations on your boy. I know how hard it is to process your thoughts after finding that out. Go easy on yourself and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Talk to trusted people if you can that you know won't judge. I came to terms with everything while pregnant but didn't bond with my second bump in the way I did my first and I'm sure part of that was the gender disappointment. But now he's here I just adore him and wouldn't trade him for anything. Altho I do still try and avoid looking too much at the baby girl clothing sections in shops... big hugs. Feel free to drop me a message if it's helpful to chat as I've been right where you are now but have come through the other side, and I promise you, it's great.
Thank you, this is just what I needed to hear. I have been crying way too much since Friday. I really don't feel like I am connecting with this one like I did with my first. Even after seeing the ultrasound pictures... we haven't bought a THING yet. We haven't talked about names, and we haven't even discussed room arrangements, nursery, etc.. I actually feel horrible even mentioning this....

I keep telling myself that I will feel better and get more excited after receiving good news (hopefully!!!) at my anatomy scan later in August.
I think all totally normal. I found the last few weeks of my pregnancy incredibly emotional and tough. I was very last minute with everything this time. Everyone at work was really getting at me as I hadn't done anything. Finally got things down from the loft to clean etc at 38 weeks. And really have only bought stuff since he's arrived. I had thought he'd just have everything from my eldest but since he's got here I've wanted to get little things just for him.

So if you don't feel any more excited during your pregnancy, please don't worry. The first moments holding my little one this time were really overwhelming and full of emotion as it was a massive rush of love. Whereas I never had that first time round as I was already totally in love with him as a bump.



 
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