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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 14:11 PM   1
Johnsa37
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Opinions on finding out gender...


So we are pregnant with #2. We have an almost-3-year-old little boy who is amazing, but I would really LOVE a girl. I don't think we will have any more children. I am almost positive that we are having a boy again... but part of me secretly is hoping that it's a girl. I just feel like so many people are having girls that I am bound to have another boy. Also, I just feel like the more I want a girl, the less likely it is that I will have one. I don't know why, I just feel like I'm destined to be a boy mom

My husband and I are going to a private gender scan tomorrow. We were originally planning to NOT look, and have the u/s tech put the results in a sealed envelope. We were then going to use that for a gender reveal on Sunday night with our families.

I am really worried about my reaction when I find out that it is another boy. I am afraid that I will start crying in front of our families at the big "gender reveal" if it is a boy. Even though I am trying to mentally prepare myself that it very well could be another boy, there is a little party of me holding out hope.

So I am debating and would love your advice.... should I find out tomorrow at the gender u/s? My husband for sure wants to wait until Sunday, but I feel like finding out tomorrow would give me some time to process, prepare, get familiar with the idea before sharing it with everyone. I can already imagine the "oh ANOTHER boy.." comments from my in-laws, and I want to cry just thinking about it. However, I really don't want to find out before my husband because I feel like that is weird, and it might be super obvious depending on my reaction and mood during the weekend

Help!!! Will I be better off finding out earlier? Or should I wait and just see what happens at the "reveal"?



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 14:43 PM   2
MrsC10
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Perhaps if you don't find out at the scan itself, but get it written down and then when you get home you can sneak off somewhere quiet to look on your own? That way you're husband won't see your reaction and give the game away and if it is a boy then you have time to yourself to gather your thoughts. Maybe run a bath or something?
I think it would be better to find out in advance IMO so that you can prepare yourself for the actual reveal day just in case it's not the outcome you had hoped for.

Whatever you decide, good luck! I hope it all goes well for you x



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 14:48 PM   3
Ckelly79
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I totally agree with MrsC10
Good luck huni x



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:07 PM   4
mandaa1220
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Find out with your husband privately. I was worried about gender disappointment this time. We had a scan on Saturday and a party Sunday. My mom wanted us to wait and find out at the party, but I really just needed a few min to myself if I learned I wasn't having a daughter.

I'd have been thrilled to have another little boy, but I would've been a little sad too. You don't need to feel like you HAVE to fake it in front of your family and friends, then maybe break down later.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

We did end up finding out it's a girl



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:09 PM   5
Johnsa37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mandaa1220 View Post
Find out with your husband privately. I was worried about gender disappointment this time. We had a scan on Saturday and a party Sunday. My mom wanted us to wait and find out at the party, but I really just needed a few min to myself if I learned I wasn't having a daughter.

I'd have been thrilled to have another little boy, but I would've been a little sad too. You don't need to feel like you HAVE to fake it in front of your family and friends, then maybe break down later.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

We did end up finding out it's a girl
Congratulations! I am tearing up just reading your response... I am a mess anyways, I am just so afraid of losing it in front of people.



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:12 PM   6
mandaa1220
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I totally understand. My mom and I got in a fight over it actually and I had to just be honest with her. I was trying so hard to be all "oh I don't care, as long as the baby is healthy". Wanting a girl didn't mean that I wouldn't love another son, it just would've meant potentially mourning the loss of the daughter I'd never had. You shouldn't feel bad about that, but I do feel like women need to allow themselves time to digest it, instead of either (a) breaking down or looking stunned as your family videos your gender reveal or (b) faking it for the camera and going to the bathroom to cry after.



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:13 PM   7
krissie328
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I was going to say what MrsC said. It sounds like you will need a bit of time to process it so it would be better to do that in private.



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:16 PM   8
Johnsa37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mandaa1220 View Post
I totally understand. My mom and I got in a fight over it actually and I had to just be honest with her. I was trying so hard to be all "oh I don't care, as long as the baby is healthy". Wanting a girl didn't mean that I wouldn't love another son, it just would've meant potentially mourning the loss of the daughter I'd never had. You shouldn't feel bad about that, but I do feel like women need to allow themselves time to digest it, instead of either (a) breaking down or looking stunned as your family videos your gender reveal or (b) faking it for the camera and going to the bathroom to cry after.
Totally agree. If it is a boy, I will obviously come to terms with it and love him with all of my heart... but it would totally be mourning the loss of a daughter that I will never have My husband does not really understand, but he is fine with me finding out before the party.



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 15:17 PM   9
mandaa1220
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Find out first and update please

Sending pink dust your way!



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2017, 16:19 PM   10
MrsButterfly
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Find out privately together first. I was in the exact same position as you. Hoped for a girl but convinced it was a boy. My little one turned out to be a boy. We definitely won't have any more babies. I did need a little time after our gender scan to process is all, be sad for a while about the girl I won't have. And I definitely needed that time alone - wouldn't have wanted family fussing around me after I just found out.

But I just wanted to say that already the bond between my boys is amazing. My eldest absolutely adores his brother and I can tell they are going to just be the best of friends forever. I have come to really love the idea of being a mum of boys and the centre of their little lives. So whatever happens, it will be wonderful either way for you and your family.

Enjoy your scan.



 
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