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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 03:34 AM   1
laura109
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Here starts the unwanted advice


Me 'my 2 year old is definitely ready to start nursery next week as i feel being at home with me all the time is not enough for her now'

Response.... Well thats because you have always played with her and gave her all your attention so now she expects it.

Me... No i really haven't it has been a struggle this year to find ten minutes to sit & play as im forever cleaning up and dealing with pregnancy'

Response 'youve always sat on the floor with her thats where you have gone wrong'


Me.... She keeps asking if her baby brother can come out now

Response... You have told her to much too soon you should have waited as shes getting obsessed.

Advice about new baby..... You will have to make sure you feed the baby, change him & put him down you need to make sure you dont give the baby more attention than your daughter...

My response.... I wont favour one over the other...

Advice...well i will tell you if i notice you doing that!!!

Advice (3rd year running) if you are getting her a dolls pram for Christmas you dont need to get her anything else for Christmas really juat get that...

Me... The prams a max of £30 so she will get another £100 as we will get her more than one thing.

Response... U dont need to everyone else gets her stuff u will get her far too much.


Thanks mother. Clearly you have no faith in me at all!!!



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 03:51 AM   2
WackyMumof2
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Some people can't keep their negative comments to themselves. Best response to all those though? 'She's not dead yet so I'm doing something right'. Shuts them up EVERY time.

If it helps, DS3 fell over my arm and landed on his head (I was sitting on the floor and trying to hand something to his father and he decided to lean back now that he's on his feet). Poor little dude was screaming. My MIL came running over and said 'here, give him to me' then added, 'you better take him to the doctor and not let him sleep for several hours'. Yep, way to go. Your son and I have 2 other children. How about you back the f**k off, have some faith, keep your comments to yourself and let us parent our way! I understand your frustration. I've been dealing with these kinds of comments for 10 years. You just get to the point where you learn to switch off and not say anything.



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 04:09 AM   3
Talia12
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Argh I got mad just reading your post hun! I totally sympathise! I get some of those same comments from my mum (especially about always giving my son lots of attention) and I get a load of other "advice" I don't want from MIL and her family! Oh and the Christmas present stuff...this year for Easter my mum told me and my sister "just get the kids 1 small egg each, they'll be just as happy" 🙄 Excuse us for wanting to make our kids happy on special occasions! We were so mad we went even more overboard than normal, it was an absolute chocolate feast haha Try not to listen! But I totally sympathise. Last week I was just absent mindedly telling my mum I've seen the car seat I want for the new baby. And she said "it's far too early, in my day we didn't get stuff like that yet." I didn't even say I was going to! Just that I'd chosen it. I went into a massive teenage sulk with her haha.



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 07:56 AM   4
laura109
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Ugh isn't it annoying. It's literally unhelpful advice and opinions. It makes u feel like you are a child having a child. Im almost 29 lol!!! We are capable of judging things ourselves arnt we. The worst bit about it is my mum raised us cold with no affection shown and we are not very confident because weve never been shown love and praise. Telling me not to cuddle my baby is almost like she is saying im not allowed to enjoy holding him. Worst advice ever as they grow up so fast and soon are running about independent not wanting a snuggly sleep.

That easter egg thing sounds like my mum lol!!! Weve never spent more than £150 on her but my mum like yours tells me off if i buy early.

I got my pram at 18 weeks ordered at 17. My mum didn't hesitate to say it was abit early. The thing is the chances of loosing the baby at that point are slim and if the worst did happen we would get rid of the pram. You cant go through your pregnancy in a negative way. I think four months is more than acceptable to start gradually getting big things. They are such party poopers lol!!

If they end up right and our kids end up horrible and spoilt it wont be them dealing with them anyway lol x



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 08:31 AM   5
Talia12
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Haha very true your mum sounds just like mine! I was so mad because I've finally started to relax into this pregnancy a bit and want to buy things and she starts saying it's too early. 🖕 Haha.
Totally agree too, me and my sister both breastfed for a long time and my mum was always like "oh after six weeks with you two I wanted my body back!" Yeah well attitudes have changed! We no longer think you can spoil a child with cuddles. And like you say all too soon they don't want to just sit on your lap and cuddle so you have to cherish it! Same thing with playing with them.
Bit of a tangent but if you've seen the film Hook there's a little rant his wife does at him about exactly that and it makes me get tearful every time I see it!



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 08:33 AM   6
Talia12
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Yep I'm crying haha!!



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 09:54 AM   7
laura109
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Aww love it. Its so bluddy true. Unfortunately my mum comes froms that cold strict era shes 65. She very much fed us and laid us down to avoid clinginess. My little girl plays up abit in asda. That is all my fault too apparently!! She loves to say you sat in the trolley and that was that. She loves an opportunity to tell me where im wrong. All that old day rubbish has been proven incorrect, children being ignored led to emotionally unsettled kids. I can vouch for that even at my age, i envy people with that close bond with there mums. If my children come home for tea and want to go out with me occasionally when they are adults then i will feel ive done my job well. So i try to let it go over my head. Is your mum like Mine emotionally?? I still visit mine & shes ok at times but she can make me paranoid. She called me sad last year for liking lush bath products lol!! She genuinely thinks any other than basics is over the top xx



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 09:59 AM   8
laura109
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P.s you should buy whatever you like hun just tell her afterwards. She will only grumble. My parents were a nightmare in my first pregnancy trying to stop me finding out the gender. I expected the same this time but i knew so they asked this time. Im glad because i felt controlled last time and couldn't share things like the nursery or outfits we choose with anyone.

Its your pregnancy and its good to be prepared and ready for the little ones arrival. Do u know the sex yet? Im having a boy this time. I was shocked for a day or two now im so excited xx



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 10:41 AM   9
Talia12
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Aw yes my mum is the same! Like we are friends and everything and she's excited about the baby, but she's from that quite cold generation too. I think they were told babies should have a routine from very young etc, don't carry them too much, don't let them use your breast as a dummy, don't let toddlers get in bed with you, don't let your child have any input into what they do, wear, eat etc! And I just don't agree, like I expect my son to do as he's told obviously but he doesn't always haha and I want him to feel he can speak up too because I never did, when you said your mum said you sat in the trolley and "that was that" it sounded just like my mum!!! Like "when you woke up in the night I fed you your bottle without making eye contact and you went back to sleep and that was that." Oh lovely! I actually enjoyed/enjoy nighttime cuddles with my son and still sometimes crawl in his bed with him till morning if he wakes in the night. He won't want me to forever.
Found out this week we are having a little girl first in the family. I'm excited too, badly want to shop like mad but I'm broke this month went to IKEA this morning and got a pack of fitted cot sheets though haha. £6.50 not exactly a splurge but later this month the bank account will have a large pink dent in it with a tutu on!
Have you got a name for your boy yet? Does he have lots of clothes already?



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 12:13 PM   10
laura109
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I think you are the first person that ive ever felt understands my situation with my mum lol. Its hard to describe them isnt it as they provided for us and never hurt us but theres something missing. My mum said the same to
Me about eye contact. Just like you i want my daughter to be open with me and stuff and I also love our snuggles and bond. At the same time i tell her off when need be im not ridiculously soft.

We like Freddie :-) how about your little lady? Little girls are so fun to dress up. I still love buying my little girl clothes. We are currently doing up her bedroom its going to be lovely. We have a few sleepsuits in nb 0-3 and 3-6 and a couple of t shirts and trousers. Got him a pooh bear cardi too and a few beautiful blankets. When are u due hun? Xx



 
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