I've been feeling really down the last couple days

Long rant ahead

Not sure if it's hormones (plus the fact that I have a history of depression anyways) or that my life just sucks.

I'm feeling very unimportant. I actually miss working and the really bizarre thing is the exact reasons why I quit to be a stay at home mom are the same reasons why I want to go do it again. And now I'm just feeling very useless and feeling very jealous of people who have exciting jobs... but at the same time I'm feeling too sick to even get out of the house and do anything about it.

I still have morning sickness. I got off real easy with my last two pregnancies but this time it's making up for it. I'm 16 weeks and I still get I used to love food.... Cooking was one of my favorite things to do (pathetic but true) as was eating.... And now I can't even enter the kitchen with gagging. And in honesty it's much better now than it was a few weeks back but the foods I am now able to eat are incredibly limited and most of my food aversions are towards iron and calcium rich foods... and because of my inability to consume food sources of iron I am pretty positive anemia has already kicked in... I'm already experiencing several of the symptoms... fatigue, tachycardia, shortness of breath.... So I have a midwife appt on tuesday and will likely get my hb checked again then get some iron supplements.... But I'd much rather just be able to eat.

Then there's the fatigue... I just can't get anything done... I'm just so so tired.

And I feel like a slob. I never leave the house, I never put on makeup, I really really need to shave, but feel like even if it did do those things I'd still be ugly. My prepregnancy clothes are too small, I just look fat in maternity clothes. Then one of my pretty distant relatives decided to post a link to her website on facebook which I went to only to discover it was her own personal porn site.... Why on earth she'd post the link on facebook when she has family members as friends is beyond me but turns out not only does she have a pretty face her body is damn perfect too and now I just feel more like sh*t!

And then yesterday my daughter brought a letter home from school discussing the lock down drill they had.... What a sad sad world we live in that kindergarten children have to participate in lock down drills

sorry i wish i had some words of wisdom.. maybe then i could use them on myself