I know it's early days but I'm really stressing about it. For those of you expecting your first baby, it's probably a good idea not to read on as I might scare you also. Apologies in advance also but it's going to be long.

Right I have two other children. My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. I had a pretty straight forward labour with my son, it was a hospital birth and 12 hours from start to finish. The only thing is I ended up with second degree tears and the midwife did a terrible job of stitching me up afterwards - so much so that I was in agony for months afterwards. Never the less things got gradually better and when Ryan was 15 months old I found out I was expecting Hannah.

I decided from the start I wanted a homebirth with her, and it did all go to plan sort of. I had a 7 1/2 hour labour from start to finish, the only thing is just as Hannah's head was crowning the midwife was just about to tell me to breathe through it and Hannah just shot out in 1 go, the midwife got hell of a fright. It turns out that my scar tissue from where I had given birth to my son gave way completely and I tore in exactly the same place.

The midwife I had with Hannah did a much better job of stitching me up (I'm half wondering if that might be the reason my scar tissue gave way) and things healed pretty well and then when Hannah was 3 weeks old I started losing massive blood clots (TMI) - next thing I know blood is literally pouring from me so much so that I nearly pass out. My husband had to phone for an ambulance..and it turned out to be a post partum heamorage (sp??) due to retained products and I had to have an emergency d&c which wasn't pleasant given the fact I had a fanny full of stitches (TMI again).

My midwife back then basically told me that I'd have to be seriously careful if I ever had anymore children as another tear like the previous two could leave me incontinent & she highly recommends a c section for future births.

Now that brings me to this pregnancy. I have told the midwife all of the above & based on that and the fact I am a group b strep carrier she is referring me for consultant led care.

I really don't know what to do now though, do I just tell the consultant straight that a c section would probably be best or do I brave it up & go natural again in the hope I don't tear as bad?. Can I be refused a section or do I have the right to choose? Just the thought of going through a natural birth again really scares me incase I tear bad again. I had a urine infection the other week and I'm already because of that suffering from a tiny bit of stress incontinence (TMI but I get a tiny leak after going to the loo) so this is really on my mind constantly lately.

What would you all do? Help - my heads in the shed!!!!

Kat x

I'm not surprised your heads all over the place after such a tough time with your previous two births hun

What the midwife has told you sounds pretty scary and I wouldn't blame you at all if you chose to just go for a section this time around but at the end of the day only you can decide.

If it was me I'd try to get some good advice on the risks of attempting another natural birth and how likely it is that you will tear badly again versus the risks of having a c section and take it from there.

If you do decide you would rather have a c section than risk another bad tear I don't think they will refuse you, after all you do have a valid medical reason for asking and it's not as if you just don't want to try a vaginal birth.

It may also be that your consultant wants to push you towards a c section anyway if what your midwife said is accurate.

Good luck with your decision and I hope that things work out well for you, whatever you decide xxx

Hi, sorry you are having to go through this - it does sound scary.

I think you will have to wait for the consultants advice and maybe discuss both options with him, but in the end also decide for yourself which you would prefer - it does sound like C-section will be a good idea.

I am in a similar situation - I gave birth after induction to a 8 pound 3 ounce baby girl last time with a very big episiotomy and a struggle to get her out - they were very worried about shoulder dystocia as I am daibetic. I was basically told by the gynae I had then that next birth would be a C-section, but I am now with another gynae and he is already suggesting a C-section - he told me baby must weigh less than my DD to try for natural (with an induction) Its still also early days for me, so will wait til the much later scans to decide and also discuss the risks of both options until I am happy that I am picking the option that will be best for both my baby and me.

From my experience, the choice is yours - you should be able to opt for a section...BUT there's no hurry if you can't decide...if you're not sure, you can ask for a consultation at 36 weeks and make a decision then based of expected size/your health/how things have been going for you.
Don't stress about it too much (although that makes me a hypocrite!) and take your time.