Basically, the stress is getting way to much for me!

I'm 17 weeks pregerant and I need a sodding break!

My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregerant, so me and OH moved into MIL's, however my brother is sick again!
He has schizopehina and the new pills the dr have put him on have messed him up again, he's very sudicial atm. My mum and dad want me to go back to theirs to keep an eye on him while me and OH sort out a house, I know I'm going to sound like a HORRIBLE sister but I don't want to move back because I get very upset about it all and it's not what me and buba need. I love my brother but I don't need to live there surely, they don't see that though.


Also my work are messing up my hours I'm contracted to 12 hours a week but they vary from 20 - 60 hours per week but now they put me right down to 12 hours a week due to staff wage cut back. How are me and OH going to surive on his basic wage and 12 hours a week from me?
I also have a 'work performance interview' on Tuesday, what the heck does that mean? They have been trying to get the other pregerant girlies who work with me to cut their hours down to bare nothing, which obviously money is a BIG issue for me and I will quite happily work 40 hours a week!! I'm scared of what they are going to try and force me into!

OH says I ought to go to the drs and get a week off sick on stress so me and the baby can have a break, but low and behold my work don't pay sick pay! So I'm just mega stressed out and I don't know who to turn to for help or what to do about anything.

Sorry for the ramble girlies, I'm just so upset.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this!!

In response to being asked to move back in to keep an eye on your brother, as harsh as this sounds, your parents kicked you out... I would not move back in. I know you probably care a ton about your brother but it's not your responsibility to be his babysitter, especially when you have stress at work and you're pregnant!

As far as work goes, I'm sure your work performance meeting is nothing serious but I would DEFINITELY inquire about getting more hours. If they don't want to give you more, I'd start looking for another job... I've been in this situation alot, as I am only working part time right now and was looking for full time work when I got pregnant, and I too was worried about how we'd make it with me being only part time, but so far it's worked out - money's just a bit tight.

Hang in there and keep us posted.

OH said about the same thing about moving back in, I'd just be looking after him. But I feel awful like I'm letting them down if I don't do nothing. I just feel like telling them they are putting me under more stress if I move back because at least here I can spend time with OH and he manages to keep me calm. :'(

I can't quit and get another as I'm entitled to Mat leave & pay from them when I leave for matertiny leave so there's no point in leaving. I am going to ask them why my hours have been cut, and if they say it's due to me being with a baby, I'll dig my heels in and kick up such a fuss.

Erm, they kicked you out and now expect you to jump to it because they need someone to look after your brother?! You are quite entitled to tell them to take a running jump! I know you love your brother, but at the end of the day he is their responsibility, their son. You have to think of yourself and your little family - that's who you are responsible for.
Big ((((hugs)))) to you, because I know you must be feeling pulled in all different directions.

Don't feel like you are letting them down - THEY kicked you out! And good for you to dig in your heels if they tell you it's because you're having a baby! I'd hang in there then to get your mat pay and leave!

I agree with everyone else on the parents. You are now effectively a parent, and nothng is more importnant than YOUR child. If I was in your shoes I certainly wouldn't be putting my bub & myself through the potential stress & uncertainty of moving back with the parents.

At the end of the day, as the others have said, it is their responsibility to care for their child, as it is yours to care for the LO inside you. I definitelty would not be moving back.

In terms of work, I would be going into that meeting with a clear stance in my head. By that I mean, no coaching or "concerned" words from the employers will move you from the positition that you want MORE hours not less, and that you will not cut back or leave! Just be strong in your stance and don't let them bully you into second guessing yourself.

Remember you are not only standng up for yourself when you are meeting with them but also your bub & the new family you and your OH are working so hard to create.

You have the strength inside you, look to OH for support & remember your LO is depending on you! You'll get through it Yazz_n_bump and you will be a stronger person for it :-) Chin up!!

And remember we are hear to have a vent with in need!!

With regards to your parents, they have showed you an amazing lack of support when you needed it, and now they are hypocritical enough to ask you for support? What would happen when your brothers meds settle again?? Do they kick you straight out again? IMO parents should support all their children regardless, not just when it suits their needs! As for your work be strong. Make it very clear what you want out of the meeting. They are unlikely to cite your pregnancy as a reason for anything. You just have to focus on your performance and commitment, ie how many extra hours you have always done and still wish to do. Good luck Hun

regarding work not sure if you arein uk or not but if you are and are only work 12 hours in the 8 weeks in the qualifying period for maternity pay then unless your company has a specific policy you wont quaify for smp. it's one of my ongoing concerns but such is life.

look after yourself and ask for a copy of the maternity policy if you don't already have one.

So sorry about all the stress you're going through - at least you have a supportive OH. I hope things get better for you xxx

does sound like you need a break. Its rough enough with the hormones of pregnancy without extra issues.

There are a few things you need to do though:

1. Find out from your parents what will happen if your brother is stable again and also why they kicked you out. Do they have a long term plan and will they support you? Do they perhaps miss you and feel bad about kicking you out - you need to know where they stand or if they are really just looking for a babysitter for their son.

2. Get your maternity policy from your work - if what Flipsy wrote is true for you then the company may be trying to get out of paying maternity leave by cutting back your hours (especially if they are doing it for all the pregnant women) and then depending on your contract that you signed at the beginning you may be able to fight this if you can prove it - speak to the other pregnant women at your work after you find out what the policy is.

3. Lastly decide for yourself what is best for you and little one - is it living with OH or living with your parents? WHere will you get the most help? Can you take a break and get some rest or is working and earning the money more important? Once you know what you want and what is best for you and babes then try to find some peace about what you do decide to do.

again