I don't want to rant to much but I have to get this off my chest. Not really sure if I'm asking for advice or what but if I write it down I think I'll feel better so here goes!
So, my hubby has this circle of friends who've all been best friends since primary school. They all have wives or girlfriends and me and hubby have been together longest. We used to all get along very well, having parties, bbq's, going on nights out etc. THEN I got pregnant with my son almost 4 years ago. As soon as they found out I was pregnant I never heard from them at all. Every one of them went away on a weekend holiday to a lodge, even the ones who hadn't been together long at all, they were just dating at the time, but it was a last minute decision and we were never asked - pretty obvious it was because I was pregnant!
Anyway, they all disappeared anyway, asked out with them once in a blue moon and pretty much ignored at 'couple' gatherings (hubby was asked out with just the boys) and I spent ALOT of time obsessing over it, why wouldn't they speak to me etc etc and eventually decided I didn't give a shit and stuck with the one or 2 friends who were always there for me.
Then after my son was born I became best friends with one of the guys new girlfriends, she was fab. Always there for Jayden, spending alot of time with him, taking him places. Then she got pregnant and we were still very close, getting excited about the new baby and I gave her EVERYTHING from when my son was a baby - car seat, play mat, rocking chair, moses basket, ALL of his newborn - 6 months clothes and a whole lot more. I bought her her bouncy chair and baby monitor. Then after her son was born I helped out as much as I could (she is a very lazy mum) and then just cut me off. Again, I spent ages obsessing over what I had done to deserve to be treated like shit after everything I done (she was on her own when her hubby went to Afghanistan and I was the one from the 'group' who looked out for her) and again decided I didn't give a shit! And found out she'd been bitching about me behind my back, saying I let my son away with murder (I'm a very strict mum) and all this other stuff. So I cut her off.
But we became friends again after I confronted her and that was fine.
Then I fell pregnant again.... she was all of a sudder very interested in being a close friend again! So we took our boys on days out etc............ then our friend announced she was pregnant 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard from her. Another one of our friends are pregnant so, yet again, I've been forgotten. I'm really not giving a shit anymore, I've had enough of the lot of them! I just wanted to write this and get it off my chest as my hubby doesn't really listen when I bitch about his friends, which I get.
Sorry this is so long, and well done if you got this far xxx
Sending you big hugs, you don't deserve to be treated like that and they don't deserve your friendship!! Urrrgh. Sone girls can't leave the school playground behind! Try not to let this drag you down - easier said than done I know.
You'll soon meet some new mummy friends when you have your little girl anyway. Stuff em! Xxxxx
Totally agree with you - I'm the 1st to be pregnant for the 1st time out of our 'group' which are/were also hubby's friends and girlfriends/dates etc and we've been hung out to dry - truth is they're a bunch of immature judgmental morons - didn't even hear from them over our wedding a few weeks ago! And one of the girls is supposedly my best friend!! I told her how I felt and she was just so ridiculous, demanding and nasty that I just decided after that there was no going back - i shouldn't have to explain that i was disappointed not to have heard from her before, during or after our wedding (which was just our families)...so I chatted it through with DH and we decided we'll just leave them to it and not make arrangements with them....they don't get it all anyway
It's annoying and frustrating at times and you know what? It's nothing we've 'done' it's their own inadequacies - Hang in there!
We'll all fill our lives with those that are on the same page as us and I don't just mean the fact that we're having families, I mean mentally and in life in general. I'm looking forward to it!
Oh dear, I'd say don't waste your time with people like that. Your real friends will stick with you no matter what.
In my group of close friends only 2 of us are married, one has kids, I'm pregnant, 2 are divorced and one is single with no kids. We have all stuck together since school and husbands and kids aside we always find time for each other. I'd stick with your true friends and not worry about anyone else.
Thanks ladies, I knew you would cheer me up! The thing that bugs me most, I guess, is the 'friend' who was there when I had Jayden ditched me when she had her own son. I completely understand that she may not have much time to spend with my son, but after spending pretty much 2 years with him (we went 3 holidays together) to not seeing him or asking how he was in a 3 month period, despite me asking her out many times. It felt like she was using my son as a subsitute for the one she didn't have yet This makes me sooo mad! xxx
oh dear, to be honest ive found that a lot of people are like this. you think there your friends and then you announce that your pregnant, and then its like its too much trouble to be friends. my so called best friend did this. i moved from basingstoke to birmingham about 120miles up north, something like that. anyways he was fine with me moving and we still talked, and when i came down to visit my fiance´s family id come and see him too, not once did he say ill come up to yours. hes very obsessed with working...not that its anything serious, he works in a shop. but anyways when i said i was pregnant, all i got off him was attitude "your stupid for getting pregnant, blah blah blah" so i had a go at him and said he really hurt my feelings. well he didnt talk to me for a while. i was down there for a visit and i thought right, ill be the bigger person and text him n see if he wants to meet up, he said yea, i finish work at 10. so i waited till 10pm and went to meet him at his work. it was shut so i tried calling him....no answer of course so i went back to OH´s parents. the next say his reason was, "i wasnt feeling well so i went home to bed" and he hasnt spoken to me since..... i dont understand what his problem is, and i guess some people just see you differently when your pregnant.... im getting angry now just even writing it down cuz i just dont understand why hes done this to me.... but im not going to let him ruin a second of my pregnancy. chin up chick, its weird but at times like this, you do find out who your real friends are. xx
eugh! what a nasty set of people, to be honest if i were you i wouldnt have even bothered with them after the last time let alone this time! fancy giving her all your baby things and buying her some new things and then bitches about you! what has she got to bitch about! "oh she is soooo generous what a cow!" "yeah you're right such a cow to give you all those things!" gah!
i had a friend who one day decided to hate me for literally no reason - honestly i had done nothing to her! so i cut her out
5 years later i got pregnant with my son and she started almost stalking me, requested to be friends of fb 3or 4 times said no to each request, kept asking my family and friends what i was up to and to get in contact with her. no no no no no no no, i wouldnt say i bear grudges but i do not forgive and forget, people like that are a complete waste of my time and so is this girl to you. she is a waste of your time and energy - forget her!
It's difficult to cut them out completey because they are best friends with my hubby. But I shan't be wasting anymore energy on any of them. I suppose I'll always wonder what I done to piss them up so much but really, I can do without them all. My best friend in the world is one I speak to maybe once a month, but she's the kind of person I don't need to see or speak to all the time and when we do speak it'll be exactly where we left off last time! She loves my son as a nephew and recognises me as a mother but also gives a shit about my son. THOSE are the people I need in my life xxx
arent people silly
i had this too all my friend were still into partyin and most were going to uni
i had a couple of people that stood by me through the pregnancy i even had a couple of old school mates suddenly have an interest in me. my son is 5 in 3 weeks and im still the only one that has a child out of my friends that i comunicate with
ive got a few new friends and one of them is married with 2 kids so thats nice but i pretty much dont talk to people that i once called good friends
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