Please tell me if I'm just being hormonal

tl682 · May 13th, 2011, 19:02 PM

DH and I have planned forever that we would find out the sex of the baby while I was pregnant. We have our scan for this on May 25th.

We saw his mom and sister this past weekend, and they told him that it's better to wait, so he just told me last night that he has changed his mind and doesn't want to find out anymore!! He always does this. We decide one thing, they contradict it, and then he changes his mind to what they say. I'm so mad.

I'm still planning to find out (alone), but I wanted to share that surprise moment with him. I feel like he's totally ruining it for me. This has put me in such an upset mood.

Am I over-reacting?? Am I just being hormonal??

HeeBeeGeeBee · May 13th, 2011, 19:21 PM

Personally I don't think you're being hormonal - I think you have a very good reason to be cross.

I think you should talk to him about how it has made you feel. Could you point out to him that his mother and sister should have nothing to do with his decision. Actually, why did they even question it, or offer their opinions??? Overbearing female alert!!!...a decision is a decision not an invite to discussion. Grrrr...I would be really annoyed given the circumstances. He needs to think for himself and they need to butt out big time! Anyway best to talk this over with him hopefully he will stick with his original plan.

Good luck

Cassie123 · May 13th, 2011, 19:22 PM

I would be upset too. You plan out how things are going to go in your head then people just go and upset your plans without even considering how it will effect you.

It's not like we are the most emotionally stable people at the moment!

There i still time for him to change his mind back again. Maybe it would help if you sat him down and explained how important it is to you that he is there to share the moment with you.
You could also talk about why you want to find out whatever the reason may be. Clothes, decorating, bedding etc.

However if he doesn't come round then you can always find out alone. I did and it was still absolutely amazing to find out that the little person on the screen is my daughter! At that moment it didn't matter who was there and who wasn't.

I hope he comes around in time x

tl682 · May 13th, 2011, 19:28 PM

Every time I point out to him how they control him and overturn decisions that I make with him, how he doesn't think independently, he just gets mad and tells me that he's allowed to change his mind, and that he just likes hearing opinions... Then, we will get into some big argument about how this is our marriage, our baby, our decisions, and he just doesn't understand what I'm talking about... I dont understand that!!

I'm happy to hear that it will be amazing hearing the sex even if he's not there, but I so very much wanted him to be there. I want to be able to share that with him, to talk to him about it from then on, and to buy things for the baby. I feel like he's just ruining it for me!!

me n my3boys · May 13th, 2011, 19:34 PM

mommy in laws suck me and mine bump head all the time i tell her alot has changed since she was pregnant 33 years ago this is our moment not hers

me n my3boys · May 13th, 2011, 19:36 PM

or u could find out alone then yell it at him and his mom then blame it on hormones

HeeBeeGeeBee · May 13th, 2011, 19:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by me n my3boys

or u could find out alone then yell it at him and his mom then blame it on hormones

I like the way you think!!!

Or, you could just plain ask him to do for you. Ask him to find out with you because you want to share it with him and look back at it together as a shared memory, and that it would make you happy. I don't see that it's an unreasonable request, maybe put it to him that you don't want to do it alone and you need him to be there for you....?

MrsAgar · May 13th, 2011, 19:45 PM

I would be really upset too! That is such an exciting moment and who better to share it with than your baby daddy. You should try to explain to him exactly that. I hope he changes his mind and I'm looking forward to hearing what you're having!!

prdlyexpectng · May 13th, 2011, 20:14 PM

i would be mad too, not mad because he didn't want to find out all of a sudden, but mad because he doesn't want to find out because of his mom and sister! i cannot stand when my OH doesn't do things because his mom/sister/sisters-in-law don't want him to. it is totally annoying. i would be upset if i were you. you need to tell him it's not about his mom and sister it's about you and him and the baby and the choice u already agreed on.

tl682 · May 13th, 2011, 20:27 PM

Right, when I say that, he says, "they know better than we do, because they have been through it..." It's so annoying!! It makes me so mad!! He's always done this, with little things and big things... I dont know how to make it stop...

May 13th, 2011, 19:02 PM	#1
tl682 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: New York Posts: 1,325	Please tell me if I'm just being hormonal DH and I have planned forever that we would find out the sex of the baby while I was pregnant. We have our scan for this on May 25th. We saw his mom and sister this past weekend, and they told him that it's better to wait, so he just told me last night that he has changed his mind and doesn't want to find out anymore!! He always does this. We decide one thing, they contradict it, and then he changes his mind to what they say. I'm so mad. I'm still planning to find out (alone), but I wanted to share that surprise moment with him. I feel like he's totally ruining it for me. This has put me in such an upset mood. Am I over-reacting?? Am I just being hormonal??

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May 13th, 2011, 19:21 PM	#2
HeeBeeGeeBee Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Ireland Posts: 150	Personally I don't think you're being hormonal - I think you have a very good reason to be cross. I think you should talk to him about how it has made you feel. Could you point out to him that his mother and sister should have nothing to do with his decision. Actually, why did they even question it, or offer their opinions??? Overbearing female alert!!!...a decision is a decision not an invite to discussion. Grrrr...I would be really annoyed given the circumstances. He needs to think for himself and they need to butt out big time! Anyway best to talk this over with him hopefully he will stick with his original plan. Good luck

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 19:22 PM	#3
Cassie123 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: South West UK Posts: 548	I would be upset too. You plan out how things are going to go in your head then people just go and upset your plans without even considering how it will effect you. It's not like we are the most emotionally stable people at the moment! There i still time for him to change his mind back again. Maybe it would help if you sat him down and explained how important it is to you that he is there to share the moment with you. You could also talk about why you want to find out whatever the reason may be. Clothes, decorating, bedding etc. However if he doesn't come round then you can always find out alone. I did and it was still absolutely amazing to find out that the little person on the screen is my daughter! At that moment it didn't matter who was there and who wasn't. I hope he comes around in time x

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 19:28 PM	#4
tl682 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: New York Posts: 1,325	Every time I point out to him how they control him and overturn decisions that I make with him, how he doesn't think independently, he just gets mad and tells me that he's allowed to change his mind, and that he just likes hearing opinions... Then, we will get into some big argument about how this is our marriage, our baby, our decisions, and he just doesn't understand what I'm talking about... I dont understand that!! I'm happy to hear that it will be amazing hearing the sex even if he's not there, but I so very much wanted him to be there. I want to be able to share that with him, to talk to him about it from then on, and to buy things for the baby. I feel like he's just ruining it for me!!

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 19:34 PM	#5
me n my3boys Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: eh Posts: 41	mommy in laws suck me and mine bump head all the time i tell her alot has changed since she was pregnant 33 years ago this is our moment not hers

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 19:36 PM	#6
me n my3boys Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: eh Posts: 41	or u could find out alone then yell it at him and his mom then blame it on hormones

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 19:45 PM	#8
MrsAgar Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 285	I would be really upset too! That is such an exciting moment and who better to share it with than your baby daddy. You should try to explain to him exactly that. I hope he changes his mind and I'm looking forward to hearing what you're having!!

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 20:14 PM	#9
prdlyexpectng Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: the Earth Posts: 2,389	i would be mad too, not mad because he didn't want to find out all of a sudden, but mad because he doesn't want to find out because of his mom and sister! i cannot stand when my OH doesn't do things because his mom/sister/sisters-in-law don't want him to. it is totally annoying. i would be upset if i were you. you need to tell him it's not about his mom and sister it's about you and him and the baby and the choice u already agreed on.

Status: Offline

May 13th, 2011, 20:27 PM	#10
tl682 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: New York Posts: 1,325	Right, when I say that, he says, "they know better than we do, because they have been through it..." It's so annoying!! It makes me so mad!! He's always done this, with little things and big things... I dont know how to make it stop...

Status: Offline

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