Letting other family members get excited - Page 2

seoj · Aug 10th, 2011, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justkitty

I really want her to be excited and don't understand what she means really. I'm
happy to window shop it's just hard as me and my dh want to chose things together and if I show her what I like she tells me why it's bad.

It's getting me worked up as I love her to bits and don't want her to feel she can't be excited.

I'm guessing she just means that you two are having a bit of a spat right now... so she's not able to get as "excited" as she would like. But that is not your fault... she's the one that disrespected your wishes... and makes unsolicited comments.

Again, just let her know you WANT her to be excited and you just really need her support and encouragement through this pregnancy. As we all would want. It's OK if she has a difference of opinion... she can do what she wants to do when it's her baby. lol. Trust me- I've had friends literally laugh in my face when I voiced I would do this or that during my pregnancy or after... but truth is, it's MY choice not theirs. So you just have to take some of it with a grain of salt and let it go... or else people will drive you mad!

Best of luck hun!!!

yellowbuttons · Aug 10th, 2011, 11:35 AM

She's being insensitive. I find that pregnancy is a bit like weddings - if it's not yours then you just don't get it (unless you've been through it and come out the other side) and don't understand why the person concerned is "making such a big fuss".

I agree with xdxxtx, invite her to go window shopping for baby stuff, that's always fun!

justkitty · Aug 10th, 2011, 12:54 PM

So I rang my mum to get some perspective and the first thing I was told was to consider how she felt being stuck in the middle. I politely pointed out it wasn't about her and I wanted to know if my behaviour had been odd. She said she felt id dictated alot when we first told them ie not telling anyone but then went on to say her friends daughter had pcos and miscarried so she understood why.

She then said im a bit stressed so may be reacting a little over the top emotionally. I was ok but then she said I'd made a few decisions she didn't agree with. When I asked what, she said she thought we should only have got copies of the scan for the grandparents ie her & dad and not our extended family. We copied the pic for my nan as she has alzeimers and will forget and dh doesn't see his grandparents often and they'll like showing it to their friends so I think her point is invalid.

bbymac · Aug 10th, 2011, 13:10 PM

It sounds like you and your sister need to sit down and have a talk about how she would feel if the tables were turned.
I'm not as sure about the conversation with your mom. It sounds like your family thinks that a pregnancy is an entire family affair and everyone gets their say. Are you the first one in your family to be pregnant? Maybe you should have a talk with them about boundaries?
Good luck momma! this sounds like a sticky situation.

Aug 10th, 2011, 11:35 AM	#12
yellowbuttons Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: UK Posts: 415	She's being insensitive. I find that pregnancy is a bit like weddings - if it's not yours then you just don't get it (unless you've been through it and come out the other side) and don't understand why the person concerned is "making such a big fuss". I agree with xdxxtx, invite her to go window shopping for baby stuff, that's always fun!

Status: Online

Aug 10th, 2011, 12:54 PM	#13
justkitty Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 674	So I rang my mum to get some perspective and the first thing I was told was to consider how she felt being stuck in the middle. I politely pointed out it wasn't about her and I wanted to know if my behaviour had been odd. She said she felt id dictated alot when we first told them ie not telling anyone but then went on to say her friends daughter had pcos and miscarried so she understood why. She then said im a bit stressed so may be reacting a little over the top emotionally. I was ok but then she said I'd made a few decisions she didn't agree with. When I asked what, she said she thought we should only have got copies of the scan for the grandparents ie her & dad and not our extended family. We copied the pic for my nan as she has alzeimers and will forget and dh doesn't see his grandparents often and they'll like showing it to their friends so I think her point is invalid.

Status: Offline

Aug 10th, 2011, 13:10 PM	#14
bbymac Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Southwest Indiana, USA Posts: 48	It sounds like you and your sister need to sit down and have a talk about how she would feel if the tables were turned. I'm not as sure about the conversation with your mom. It sounds like your family thinks that a pregnancy is an entire family affair and everyone gets their say. Are you the first one in your family to be pregnant? Maybe you should have a talk with them about boundaries? Good luck momma! this sounds like a sticky situation.

Status: Offline

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