having your child with you when you give birth

amore · Dec 10th, 2011, 09:46 AM

It has just dawned on me that there is a real possibility ds will have to come to the hospital with us when I am in Labour

We moved to Oxfordshire in June and dont have any family or friends in the area so if my labour progresses quickly there is not much chance of any of my family arriving in time (they will probably take a minimum of 3 and a half hours to get here).

I was just wondering if anyone has had their child with them during labour and how their child reacted?

mum2beagain · Dec 10th, 2011, 10:10 AM

I have no experience but the hosp I'm having baby in is a strict no under 14s in delivery suit child or not xx

ShexiShell · Dec 10th, 2011, 10:14 AM

oh i wouldn't have my kid there .. But if u aint got a choice then u have to .. i think personally it would traumatise my kids

bumpbear · Dec 10th, 2011, 10:21 AM

Can't you arrange a last minute paid child minder until your family arrive at your house? There is no way you can predict how you're going to react to the pain, so if it is frightening your OH will probably have to take DS outside and leave you on your own which doesn't sound ideal!

wavescrash · Dec 10th, 2011, 10:27 AM

This is only my second but I'm not having my daughter in the room while I deliver because she's shy about private parts and is a bit squeemish and would get very freaked out by everything. My step-dad will likely wait with her in the waiting room or something like that.

I do have a co-worker who said her daughter was in there when she delivered her youngest and her daughter loved it. Said she was right up there next to the doctor, watching and helping as she could. It just depends on how you think your child will react.

fizzypop · Dec 10th, 2011, 11:16 AM

This is my first but I'd imagine it might be a bit frightening for some children. Poor you, I hope you aren't stranded and people get there in time.. I can't think what else you could do other than the suggestion of a paid childminder.

X

_Lexi_ · Dec 10th, 2011, 11:22 AM

I would definetley start looking into a paid childminder. I ended up on labour ward earlier in the week, and a girl was in labour and they wouldn't even let her dad sit in the waiting room, he had to go down to the closed cafe and wait there. They only let partner/birthing partner on to the ward, let alone the room. It might be worth checking with your mw if it's even an option to have your child in there. Personally, I don't think I would want my child in there. It could be quite frightening and traumatic for them seeing you in pain and going through contractions. x

lisab1986 · Dec 10th, 2011, 11:23 AM

I had a homebirth last time and my lil boy was 11months and he saw me in labour..was asleep through most of it as it was during the night but when he woke he came and gave me a cuddle and after he had had breakfast and sat around for a couple of hours..when i was due to give birth my friend took him upstairs...came down seconds after id given birth to give his brother a cuddle..he was totally fine

amore · Dec 10th, 2011, 11:41 AM

Thanks for all the advise ladies. My son gets himself in such a state when he is left with strangers, and has become very clingy since I am pregnant, so I think he will be more terrified/distraught being left with a childminder he doesnt know than being with me (I am really calm in labour and cope fine with the pain) but thank you for the suggestion, if he was much younger that is what I would of done

Lisab - I am glad that everything went well with your hb and your little one was ok being there. I wish I was able to have a homebirth as I think its so different to the hospital environment.

I really hate the idea of him being there as he thinks that I swollowed the baby and that the baby will come out by magic when its ready so I dont want to expose him to the reality lol. I think oh may need to just stay in hospital cafe with him until someone arrives to help. I am being a bit selfish really as I dont want to be on my own

zizii · Dec 10th, 2011, 11:50 AM

Can you not leave your son in the waiting room for a short period of time? The nurses will be able to keep an eye or your husband can sit with your son in the waiting room while he arranges someone to look after him??? You could take your son some activities so he does not get bored! And if you point out to the nurses the situation they will make sure he does not wonder out?

Have you considered asking your mum to come and stay with you/ or someone from family 1/2 prior to ur due date??? They could just look after ur son at home!

Dec 10th, 2011, 09:46 AM	#1
amore Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Oxfordshire Posts: 677	having your child with you when you give birth It has just dawned on me that there is a real possibility ds will have to come to the hospital with us when I am in Labour We moved to Oxfordshire in June and dont have any family or friends in the area so if my labour progresses quickly there is not much chance of any of my family arriving in time (they will probably take a minimum of 3 and a half hours to get here). I was just wondering if anyone has had their child with them during labour and how their child reacted?

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Dec 10th, 2011, 10:10 AM	#2
mum2beagain Other BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: guildford Posts: 2,649	I have no experience but the hosp I'm having baby in is a strict no under 14s in delivery suit child or not xx

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Dec 10th, 2011, 10:14 AM	#3
ShexiShell Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: scotland Posts: 218	oh i wouldn't have my kid there .. But if u aint got a choice then u have to .. i think personally it would traumatise my kids

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Dec 10th, 2011, 10:21 AM	#4
bumpbear Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Londoner currently living as an alien in NYC, USA Posts: 2,417	Can't you arrange a last minute paid child minder until your family arrive at your house? There is no way you can predict how you're going to react to the pain, so if it is frightening your OH will probably have to take DS outside and leave you on your own which doesn't sound ideal!

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Dec 10th, 2011, 10:27 AM	#5
wavescrash Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 3,035	This is only my second but I'm not having my daughter in the room while I deliver because she's shy about private parts and is a bit squeemish and would get very freaked out by everything. My step-dad will likely wait with her in the waiting room or something like that. I do have a co-worker who said her daughter was in there when she delivered her youngest and her daughter loved it. Said she was right up there next to the doctor, watching and helping as she could. It just depends on how you think your child will react.

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2011, 11:16 AM	#6
fizzypop Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: essex, uk Posts: 1,003	This is my first but I'd imagine it might be a bit frightening for some children. Poor you, I hope you aren't stranded and people get there in time.. I can't think what else you could do other than the suggestion of a paid childminder. X

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Dec 10th, 2011, 11:22 AM	#7
_Lexi_ Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 3,273	I would definetley start looking into a paid childminder. I ended up on labour ward earlier in the week, and a girl was in labour and they wouldn't even let her dad sit in the waiting room, he had to go down to the closed cafe and wait there. They only let partner/birthing partner on to the ward, let alone the room. It might be worth checking with your mw if it's even an option to have your child in there. Personally, I don't think I would want my child in there. It could be quite frightening and traumatic for them seeing you in pain and going through contractions. x

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2011, 11:23 AM	#8
lisab1986 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,095	I had a homebirth last time and my lil boy was 11months and he saw me in labour..was asleep through most of it as it was during the night but when he woke he came and gave me a cuddle and after he had had breakfast and sat around for a couple of hours..when i was due to give birth my friend took him upstairs...came down seconds after id given birth to give his brother a cuddle..he was totally fine

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2011, 11:41 AM	#9
amore Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Oxfordshire Posts: 677	Thanks for all the advise ladies. My son gets himself in such a state when he is left with strangers, and has become very clingy since I am pregnant, so I think he will be more terrified/distraught being left with a childminder he doesnt know than being with me (I am really calm in labour and cope fine with the pain) but thank you for the suggestion, if he was much younger that is what I would of done Lisab - I am glad that everything went well with your hb and your little one was ok being there. I wish I was able to have a homebirth as I think its so different to the hospital environment. I really hate the idea of him being there as he thinks that I swollowed the baby and that the baby will come out by magic when its ready so I dont want to expose him to the reality lol. I think oh may need to just stay in hospital cafe with him until someone arrives to help. I am being a bit selfish really as I dont want to be on my own

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2011, 11:50 AM	#10
zizii Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,112	Can you not leave your son in the waiting room for a short period of time? The nurses will be able to keep an eye or your husband can sit with your son in the waiting room while he arranges someone to look after him??? You could take your son some activities so he does not get bored! And if you point out to the nurses the situation they will make sure he does not wonder out? Have you considered asking your mum to come and stay with you/ or someone from family 1/2 prior to ur due date??? They could just look after ur son at home!

Status: Offline

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