Wow, that's horrible. In the US, if the father doesn't pay, he doesn't have a right to see his child. And with this guy saying he doesn't want this baby, the fact that he can see him/her at his pleasure is terrible.

u sound like a strong person although i guess at this time u are more in shock and the hurt maybe hasnt sunk in.i did think its a bit suspicious that he doesnt want the baby but wants to be there at the scans ect.....i think id be inclined to think he was seeing someone else.i hope he still see;s the kids though cause its pretty devastating even for a 2/3 yr old when dad walks out.
glad u have your sis for support and i hope he sorts his head out for all your sakes.

Wow. I can't even imagine how you are feeling. This is such an awful time for him to be acting so selfish and childish. I agree with you, it seems as if there may be more to this than he is letting on.

im really sorry to hear this and agree with the above posts that he is being a knob and doesnt deserve to go to the scans. i just want to say from the veiw point of someoneone who's parents broke up when i was 5ish- they will remember, my parents did it in a very calm and civilised manner and i was able to see my dad everyother weekend, but i still vividly re-call the day he left. so all i want to say is try to make it easy on your kids, dont call him names or discuss him in front of them (however young) and dont forget they will love their dad even if you dont so any word they hear against him will be confusing and upsetting. Im sure you know all this but i know when your upset its easy to forget.

good luck with everything. x

I agree with this. Try as much as you can to keep your contact with him calm and polite in front of the kids - they'll still love him, he's still their dad, even if he's not your partner anymore. If you need to discuss something potentially controversial, do it over texts or e-mail, or while the children are being looked after by someone else (e.g. at school, nursery, with grandparents), just in case either one of you loses your temper or says something that the children shouldn't hear.

But you have every right to deny him access to your medical appointments and to be present at your child's birth. You are the patient, it is your body and your privacy that are at issue, and you should only have people at the birth that will be 100% supportive of you and make the experience as relaxing as possible. The baby won't know or care who is there for appointments and the birth, and if you separate permanently, his or her relationship with the father will likely be different from that of your older three children, who have already bonded with and love him.

I hope it works out for you, and I hope you have a lovely experience at your scan, with a healthy baby waving at you.