nah luckily I don't have that problem. It'll be just my DH and me at the birth. I totally don't mind our parents visiting once he's born, but I definitely don't want them there beforehand! I don't think I could handle visitors and the pain at the same time anyways. Then once we get home my Mom wants to help out, which is fine. She already said she would take some time off work if I wanted. But that first day home I don't want anyone coming by the house. I'm not sure if the in laws will be stopping by - they only live across the street. But the help would be nice. Just a big no no for the labor part!

I think if this wasnt my first id be far more open to here being here and wouldnt really care. But to me, thoses first few days alone as a family are important to me. Not to mention but i want to breastfeed, and i want to be a little more comfortable with it before I have a house full of people. I know that because of the way my husband was raise, and where they are from. She will have different opinions on stuff, and I just want to settle in for a few days, than have them over. But being a second baby, I dont think id care half as much as i do this time... Plus im terrifed of having contractions when someone else beside my husband is here, im a raging bitch when I feel like shit, LOL.

thats excactly what my mil will do this time, her day, and e ruined it sounds like her sorry you went through this!

My SIL has been saying she wants to be there. I've told OH that this is NOT going to happen. I've been through labour once before, and I know it's not exactly easy stuff. And this is a woman I can hardly stand being in the same room as, let alone have in the room while in labour! Eventually she'll have to be told directly that she isn't coming in, right now she just seems to be assuming that she will be. She is gonna start such a fuss!!

Do these people want to be in the waiting room and wait to see the baby in the nursery, or do they actually want to witness the birth?

Oh gosh me too. Whenever I read these stories about MILs/SILs forcing themselves to be there at the birth (while they're more or less clearly not wanted) my jaw just drops.

Are these women insane? How little respect do they have for the mother? Seriously what claim do they think they have? The total violation, it boggles the mind! But maybe it's cultural thing? Why can't you tell them that it's not negotiable? I don't get it, again it may be a cultural thing, but for crying out loud it's you that's giving birth and it's your baby, I'd think that people should be bending over backwards trying to make sure YOU're not upset instead of the other way round?

Just the thought of my MIL being in the same room! They'd have to tie me down to prevent me from throwing her out myself! Shudder! They weren't there at conception and they very well won't be there at birth either.

No, we're not going to tell anyone till we're safely home and rested, then they can cuddle the baby all they like when they visit but they don't have to see us at our most intimate and vulnerable moment.

I hope you get a word in and good luck!! xx

I'll be in Hawaii, MIL in Oregon, but she's already stated she'll be trying to fly out around my due date.. But I don't mind much, I want my parents and my DH with me as I'm doing a natural water birth at a birthing center, I love DH's mom, and even though I'm embarassed now, I don't think I'll care much when it's happening, so she'll be there while it happens it's her grandbaby too.

I guess in my mind, giving birth is an extremely amazing moment, it's a time when the family is growing, the next generation is being born, family is so important to me and DH, I can't imagine not sharing such a wonderful event with my family. It is an intimate moment, but if I can't share that with my family and DH's family, then I personally feel like I have my priorities a little off..

That being said, I also TOTALLY understand why a lot of women DON'T want their MILs to be there, I was lucky to have a wonderful MIL, and even then I understand everyone has different feelings and beliefs, my personal beliefs are that this experience is one to be shared with the family. But mainly I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe birth!

(but on a side note, I would NOT allow my SILs or BIL there.. MY OWN brothers won't be there )

i am talking about actual birth, while pushing ...

Oh, hellz no!

Seriously if you're into that kind of thing, good for you. The problem lies more in the fact of people insisting on being there and thereby disregarding the actual wishes of the parents and how stressful that might be for the mother. Preferring to not have the village gathering around your vagina whilst you're crowning does not mean you necessarily have a sub par relationship with your inlaws.