how did you feel after your first birth- be honest!
How did you feel after your first birth? im not to far away from having my first baby and getting emotional and worried and family and friends are really grating on me at the moment and i am beginning to think when it comes to the big labour day family are going to be obvioulsy so into the new baby and not even bothered how i am feeling! am i right in thinking i will be tired, emotional, grumpy and hormones left right and centre ? will people start to annoy me cause they want to spend time with baby etc?? i no this sounds all negative but i am beginning to think how can i do this all on my own and have a peaceful time after when visitors arrive etc... when i got married the whole planning process was so stressful i would never ever do it again and if i did i would run away and kind of wished i did that in the first place cause on the wedding day it was lovely but i was so drained by all the family arguments and drama and how it seemed to be all about them and not me and my hubby i really dont want that feeling once i have given birth!! and im sure my hubby feels this too, i am beiginning to think i have married not just my hubby but the whole family and also my family are becoming so annoying and selfish! grrr... not having a good friday!! anyone with some great ideas on how to let feelings fly over my head i would really appreciate it ....x
You will feel every emoition possible!
I did find the hormones a struggle to deal with for a couple of weeks, i wasnt expecting it i cried everyday for no reason the i would feel sad, 5 mins later i would feel happy!!
If your worring about family conflicts i would try and put a few ground rules out there with your OH and he can say to his family what you dont want, like loads of visitors dont feel like you have to say yes, you could say that for the first day or 2 of being at home you want it to just be you, your OH and your LO to settle in!!
My mum was very interfering it drove me nuts i used to dread seeing her because she would just take over and not let me comfort my own baby! In the end i just had to say look iam his mother and i do know how to comfort my own baby just leave him be, she got the message in the end but i had to be firm with her! If they think they know best it can cause alot of anger which you dont want, which is why i think its better to make your feelings and worries known before the birth!! x
I'm pregnant with my first too and also getting anxious about both sides of the family all suddenly appearing as soon as the baby is born. I have told my family that I think I will want some space as 1. I will just have given birth and likely to be tired/sore/emotional and 2. my OH will only have 2 weeks paternal leave so I would like us to have some time together just as a new family before everyone else descends. My family seem no keener on putting off their attendance but have agreed they will stay in a hotel which is a bit of a relief. They are however already talking about booking hotels and I've told my mum to tell my siblings not to as we don;t know when baby will arrive-keep thinking the last thing I'll want when I'm due is a house full of people looking at me waiting for me to go into labour!!! I'd rather they booked to come down 3-4 weeks after due date but they think that's too long to wait. obviously it's nice they're excited so I don't want to offend them!
sorry this isn't helpful advice but just wanted to empathise. other than worrying about baby being okay, the family stuff is what I worry about.
I mainly felt exhausted but elated after the birth of my first child. You will be so tired, that having someone cooking you a meal or helping out in some small way will be a great relief. Beforehand, I too was worried about family taking over and us having an influx of visitors. However, as it turned out, I needn't have worried. People were considerate and didn't inundate us. I think it helps that we are a good 2 hours drive away from family, so with them not being on the doorstep, that helped. I think it depends a bit on the type of people your family are as to how they will react and expect to behave after the birth. As other people suggest, you could perhaps set some ground rules (wishes) and I'm sure if you put it nicely, people will understand and go with what you feel comfortable with. I had my sister stay with me for a few days and her help was invaluable. She would help with baby and breastfeeding and just generally be around when I was at my most knackered. The birth is such an emotional time, you will feel all sorts of emotions and be grateful of some help. Good luck x
As all our families had to fly over and stay With us I insisted no one was to come for two weeks. Mil would have been in the room wholistic I gave birth of I'd let her. No way. I wanted my time with hubby and new baby. As it happens my dad flew over on day 6 but that was fine. Just didn't want his family here to be honest.
You'll probably be shattered. Good bonding tune for hubby while u nap as you'll be on a 24 hour day. But do u know what ....,, it's THE most amazing feeling to hold your new born in your arms that first time. The most important thing is your beautiful new bundle and that's all you will focus on. You will be how you will be and others will fit around you. Don't worry you're on such an adrenaline boost you'll cope. I had one hour sleep a night at first. I was wrecked but it was still a precious time x
After birth I was sore and exhausted, and a few people came round the day I delivered. Oh had a nap! He said he was tired, and I think I cried a lot haha. I was in shock that I'd actually had a baby. The next few weeks we had non stop visitors and I'm not doing it this time. Lo was passed around like a parcel and this time I'm going to say no visitors for the first few days and then they can call if they wants to come over! Also, I attempted to tidy up, not going to bother this time!
After Laura was born I couldn't stop looking at her and couldn't believe I'd done it. Yes I was sore but I was elated and so proud of myself. It's an amazing feeling, like a natural high
When the visitors came I wanted them to see my prized possession, wanted to hear them tell me she was perfect and amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed the attention. People brought me clothes for her and if they text to say they're coming get them to pick you up a McDonalds breakfast or something en route
It's not good for them to be passed around either. And they get over stimulated. I hate when others treat them like dolls.
This is sooooo right!!! We had a 'suprise' late baby shower/welcoming when my son had just come out of specail care, it was about 3 or 4 days after, i understood why they sprung it on us because my sister was on her 2 weeks r+r from afganistan and i wanted her to see him as much as possible but we also had every other member of the family here too they all wanted a hold after about an hour he screamed the house down and apparently i wasnt capable of calming him down (because my mum and grandmar wouldnt give him back!)
We're planning on letting the grandparents come for an hour each (if we are in hosp) to meet baby, then spending the next 10 days/ 2 weeks on our own. Our parents live 1.5hours away so I don't want to have to have them stay over when we'll be up every few hours. My husband has saved up holiday for 5 years so he can take 6 weeks off when I have the baby. We can't wait for that special time together!
My mum is of course upset/annoyed as she assumed she'd be moving in the day we had the baby! Er, no!! Like the OP she made planning the wedding so much more stressful than it had to be, can't face going through that again. I hope she will realise that once my husband goes back to work and I am at home with the baby,there will be lots of time to stay over and bond with her grandchild. Just not in the first 2 weeks!
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