When baby arrives ground rules - Page 3

gamblesrh · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k.heffler

So i was reading another thread here, "How did you feel after your first birth-be honest" by Lulabell1, and decided that I NEEDED to make some ground rules for when my LO arrives. So I thought I would share them. Feel free to share your own rules, as I would love to see what others plan on doing.

1. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether we choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask you to wait a couple weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing our child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages us to include you less. (saw this in a thread about guidelines for non-pregnant people and thought it was perfect)

2. We do not want visitors at the hospital; not during labor, not after the birth. This is a private time to be shared between just us.

3. When we bring the baby home, there will be no visitors until we say so.
a. Do not show up whenever you feel like it, you will be turned away.
b. Do not call/text everyday asking how the baby is doing or to visit, you will be told no.
c. Again, the only people entitled to time with the baby are us, the parents. No one else needs to see or hear about the baby every single day.

4. When we do decided to allow visitors, again you do not just show up when you feel like it. Do not call/text every day, we will tell you when it’s okay to visit. This will only be when both of us are home and feel like having visitors.

5. When you are at our home, you will respect the wishes of both parents. If one or both say it is time to leave, then it is time to leave. No ifs, ands or buts.

6. Also, when at our home, if the baby starts crying, this does not mean it’s time to play keep away from the parents. If the baby starts crying, hand the baby over to one of us. When the baby starts crying it’s time to leave.

can i still it? please? i know alot of people that are going to do this.

Indigo77 · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:29 PM

Do you think people would be offended if I made them dress like this before handling the baby?

x Helen x · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indigo77

Do you think people would be offended if I made them dress like this before handling the baby?

k.heffler · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamblesrh

Quote:

Originally Posted by k.heffler

So i was reading another thread here, "How did you feel after your first birth-be honest" by Lulabell1, and decided that I NEEDED to make some ground rules for when my LO arrives. So I thought I would share them. Feel free to share your own rules, as I would love to see what others plan on doing.

1. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether we choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask you to wait a couple weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing our child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages us to include you less. (saw this in a thread about guidelines for non-pregnant people and thought it was perfect)

2. We do not want visitors at the hospital; not during labor, not after the birth. This is a private time to be shared between just us.

3. When we bring the baby home, there will be no visitors until we say so.
a. Do not show up whenever you feel like it, you will be turned away.
b. Do not call/text everyday asking how the baby is doing or to visit, you will be told no.
c. Again, the only people entitled to time with the baby are us, the parents. No one else needs to see or hear about the baby every single day.

4. When we do decided to allow visitors, again you do not just show up when you feel like it. Do not call/text every day, we will tell you when it’s okay to visit. This will only be when both of us are home and feel like having visitors.

5. When you are at our home, you will respect the wishes of both parents. If one or both say it is time to leave, then it is time to leave. No ifs, ands or buts.

6. Also, when at our home, if the baby starts crying, this does not mean it’s time to play keep away from the parents. If the baby starts crying, hand the baby over to one of us. When the baby starts crying it’s time to leave.

can i still it? please? i know alot of people that are going to do this.

Go for it! I came up with this because of my MIL. She is acting as if the baby is hers. She constantly has know every single little detail and is demanding that we tell her the gender and when I go into labor. DH and I have decided that we are doing neither, lol.

k.heffler · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:34 PM

Indigo77, that is awesome. I think people probably would be offended but I totally get why any first time mom would want that.

fidgets mammy · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:34 PM

The only ones i have are
Me and oh at birth only
My son to be the first visitor in hospital
When i get home, visitors don't ignore my son to fuss over babies,
They do not under any circumstances pick the babies up without my say so
If they become upset give them back
They do not bombard us with unwanted advice
And do not tell me how shit i look.
Also do not tell my son to be careful, qiuet, not touch etc.
Oh and they make me a cuppa.

I dont tgink these are asking too much.

fidgets mammy · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:37 PM

I made people anti bac their hands before touching him.
Oh would shake his head in embarrasment.

k.heffler · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fidgets mammy

I made people anti bac their hands before touching him.
Oh would shake his head in embarrasment.

I think that is a good idea. Babies can get sick so easily.

Indigo77 · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fidgets mammy

I made people anti bac their hands before touching him.
Oh would shake his head in embarrasment.

I was joking, but now that I think about it, a lot of people will be flying in.
I almost always get sick when I fly.

Was anyone offended?

mom and ttc · Mar 17th, 2012, 12:44 PM

wow, those are extreme rules.
those rules can only apply for someone who doesnt have other kids... sorry. and has people to help.
my MIL went way to far last pregnancy, so this time she wont be allowed near the hospital at all.
we are planning on being induced 1 week before so my family and in laws can fly in and help. and my sil might be flighing in this time, which is nice to have everone here to help with our 2 yr old and our 2 dogs

my MIL and SIL will be allowed into the hospital after i am cleaned and stitched (most likely get an episiotomy again) and be in my own room

then they can bring my DD who will see her brother first, then they can come.

i dont care if people visit, just come on over! doorbell is not a problem with a newborn, they dont care about noise at all.
but dont expect me to cook or anything, i know my mil wont do shit, and my mom will clean her butt off and help with everything

i will have a shower and will leave to Hawaii when our LO is 8 weeks old, so everyone can see him if they want.

when my DD was little we went to lunch the day after we got home from the hospital and took her to the store and got easter pics taken. first time she got sick was at 11 months!

also hand santizer is actually harmful for babies, since it kills all the germs. but washing hands is def. needed.

Mar 17th, 2012, 12:29 PM	#22
Indigo77 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 15,966	Do you think people would be offended if I made them dress like this before handling the baby?

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Mar 17th, 2012, 12:34 PM	#25
k.heffler Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Pueblo, Colorado Posts: 100	Indigo77, that is awesome. I think people probably would be offended but I totally get why any first time mom would want that.

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Mar 17th, 2012, 12:34 PM	#26
fidgets mammy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: north east england Posts: 3,173	The only ones i have are Me and oh at birth only My son to be the first visitor in hospital When i get home, visitors don't ignore my son to fuss over babies, They do not under any circumstances pick the babies up without my say so If they become upset give them back They do not bombard us with unwanted advice And do not tell me how shit i look. Also do not tell my son to be careful, qiuet, not touch etc. Oh and they make me a cuppa. I dont tgink these are asking too much.

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Mar 17th, 2012, 12:37 PM	#27
fidgets mammy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: north east england Posts: 3,173	I made people anti bac their hands before touching him. Oh would shake his head in embarrasment.

Status: Offline

Mar 17th, 2012, 12:44 PM	#30
mom and ttc Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2011 Location: florida Posts: 2,709	wow, those are extreme rules. those rules can only apply for someone who doesnt have other kids... sorry. and has people to help. my MIL went way to far last pregnancy, so this time she wont be allowed near the hospital at all. we are planning on being induced 1 week before so my family and in laws can fly in and help. and my sil might be flighing in this time, which is nice to have everone here to help with our 2 yr old and our 2 dogs my MIL and SIL will be allowed into the hospital after i am cleaned and stitched (most likely get an episiotomy again) and be in my own room then they can bring my DD who will see her brother first, then they can come. i dont care if people visit, just come on over! doorbell is not a problem with a newborn, they dont care about noise at all. but dont expect me to cook or anything, i know my mil wont do shit, and my mom will clean her butt off and help with everything i will have a shower and will leave to Hawaii when our LO is 8 weeks old, so everyone can see him if they want. when my DD was little we went to lunch the day after we got home from the hospital and took her to the store and got easter pics taken. first time she got sick was at 11 months! also hand santizer is actually harmful for babies, since it kills all the germs. but washing hands is def. needed.

Status: Offline

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