So i was reading another thread here, "How did you feel after your first birth-be honest" by Lulabell1, and decided that I NEEDED to make some ground rules for when my LO arrives. So I thought I would share them. Feel free to share your own rules, as I would love to see what others plan on doing.
1. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether we choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask you to wait a couple weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing our child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages us to include you less. (saw this in a thread about guidelines for non-pregnant people and thought it was perfect)
2. We do not want visitors at the hospital; not during labor, not after the birth. This is a private time to be shared between just us.
3. When we bring the baby home, there will be no visitors until we say so.
a. Do not show up whenever you feel like it, you will be turned away.
b. Do not call/text everyday asking how the baby is doing or to visit, you will be told no.
c. Again, the only people entitled to time with the baby are us, the parents. No one else needs to see or hear about the baby every single day.
4. When we do decided to allow visitors, again you do not just show up when you feel like it. Do not call/text every day, we will tell you when it’s okay to visit. This will only be when both of us are home and feel like having visitors.
5. When you are at our home, you will respect the wishes of both parents. If one or both say it is time to leave, then it is time to leave. No ifs, ands or buts.
6. Also, when at our home, if the baby starts crying, this does not mean it’s time to play keep away from the parents. If the baby starts crying, hand the baby over to one of us. When the baby starts crying it’s time to leave.
EDIT: I have these rules for certain reasons. 1: This is our first baby and my husband will only have a month with him/her before he deploys for 3 or more months. Plus he works 12 hours a day. If we always have his family over, then when we will have the time to be just a family of our own for he deploys? And I say his family, because they live right down the street where as none of my family live in state, and all of our friends live 40 plus miles away so i know they will call and ask when they can visit.
2: I will be taking online college classes during this time, and while baby is sleeping i will be during school work. So I don't need people just dropping by when they feel like it.
I kind of understand what you're saying with some of these. Hubby's sister told him the other day that she is "coming down to stay with us when the baby is born". I was kind of annoyed that she just invited herself like that, I said to hubby I want at least a couple of weeks at home on our own to settle the baby in. The last thing we need to be thinking about is getting the guest room ready and entertaining people when we have a newborn to look after!
Best thing to do is not to announce your going to the hospital thats what we will do. My mom already knows not to post on facebook. I do, however, want my family there. Well mainly mom, grandma but there will be strict rules for me during labor. I kind of want to show off my little one though I just dont want him getting sick so I'll be super super cautious of that.
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