Ok I feel like I should clear up a few things as I think people are misinterpreting why I felt put out....
I dont expect no one else to be pregnant, 3 of my friends are pregnant at the minute!
I also dont expect my pregnancy to be the centre of the universe, I am actually quite a private person!
please bare in mind i wrote this just after finding out I have had time to calm down and don't feel as up set.
but I was upset that I tried for 2 years to become pregnant, and DH's family (who ive stated we are not very close too) were finally including more as 'family' ans his SIL was very jealous and even if its irrational I cant help but feel it was slightly out of spite! at least because she was missing the attention!
and 17 is not too young to have a baby, that's not why I pointed out her age, I should of been more clear as its really about her immaturity! she is not very wise to the world and lives in her own little bubble, her and her boyfriend split up every other week and I dont think it is the best enviroment to bring a child into, that would upset me if it was any one as I feel babies deserve the best start in life. I should point out that sometimes accidents happen and people have to make the best of their situation but this was planned!
anyway my point is, i'm more upset about being pushed out by the family (this has already happened) and my poor baby not being as valued as his cousins (like with my DH and his sister) but as i've got used to the idea I know I just need to forget about it and get on with things
Hope this clears things up for people who misunderstood!
I havent read the other comments but i completley understand how your feeling and your allowed to feel that way!!
My sil did a simular thing a couple of days after me giving birth to my son she annouced her pg with a guy she had barely known, i was very pissed off! My mil doesnt pay much attention to our son but tbh i dont care enymore he gets all the love in the world from my DH and i if they cant be botherd then thats their loss!!
They may do a complete change and want to see you all the time when your LO arrives if they dont then you cant change that just let them get on with it! You'll give all the love he/she needs!! xx
I hope my post didn't offend you. I think I didn't word it very well, but I meant to say I do understand where you are coming from even though the experience I wrote about is not family and so it is a little different. So I just wanted to apologise if I offended you and I really am not trying to belittle what you wrote in any way because I think I have felt a bit the same. x
I have to be honest- I'm the complete opposite. because it took us so long, people are so interested to know and lovely!
I can understand the bitterness but on a different situation- my wedding was planned for 18 months and it was my wonderful perfect day and I worked so hard on it. My wedding was my project and what helped me get over infertility and not being able to have a baby (although fair play, 3 months down the line I fell pregnant finally!) It was perfect and I would give up most things to go back to that day. Now my cousin is gettign married in June and I'm so jealous and bitter but so excited for her at the same time as we're close (she was my BM, but for some reason she didnt involve me in her wedding?) anyway....
I so want my day back and I'm so envious that other people are still experiencing that excitment leading up to the wedding.
I can't even look at my wedding photos or sort my wedding stuff out because I cry my eyes out that its gone. Every time I wear my purfume I wore for the wedding and honeymoon I cry because of the wonderful memories.
I completely understand. I had my first m/c in March 2008 about the same time my SIL quietly had an abortion (would have been her second with her live in BF of many years). I had been trying for four years by December of 2008, when I finally fell pregnant with my daughter. Two months later, SIL announced that she's was expecting no. 2 and that they had planned it. It seriously irritated me. Less than a year ago your terminating a perfectly healthy baby and the minute you find out I'm pregnant you start trying?!
Of course, since this was my MIL's daughter her pregnancy became far more important, as is her DD to this day. MIL has no relationship with my daughter, except to occasionally call and insinuate that it's our fault because we live far away. I have decided though, that my dh was raised by wolves and I'm glad we're not close, lol!
I get you too. When I was pg (also after nearly 3 years TTC and a m/c), one of DH's many, many cousins announced she was pg and due around the same time as me. My first - admittedly selfish - response was "great, thunder stolen!" as there had not been a pregnancy in the family for many years. She even bloody had the baby early and beat me, lol! Thing is, we never see them and it didn't really mean anything in the end, it's just one of those things. Sometimes we do have irrational feelings in pregnancy but it's totally normal and you are allowed to feel how you feel.
I know exactly what this is like. I'm 31 and expecting my first baby next month. My parents thought this would be the last grandchild in the family as I have much older brothers at ages 50 and 44. They already have grown up children themselves. I was looking forward to my parents spoiling their grandchild. But then my 50 year old brother and his 41 year old (second wife who never wanted children) announce they are having a baby!! She is 3 months pregnant now. She was so green eyed when I announced my pregnancy. She ruined my brothers wedding back in 2004 by pretending she was ill with food poisoning, because the limelight wasn't on her. Most of the family had to leave early. Now all she goes on about is HER baby to my parents. My folks had them down for the weekend as luckily they don't live near to us, and for the whole weekend she was going on about herself. She even gave my mum filthy looks when she brought me baby clothes. I only have 4 weeks to go, she has 6 months!! Plus its 'my mum', she has her own mother to buy her stuff. She goes on and on about what she has got for the baby already!! She even walked into my parents house rubbing her stomach and showing everyone her baby scan pic as soon as she got through the door..... yet she wasn't interested in mine. I am really not surprised you feel the way you do!! I don't care what people say about jealousy and 'you should be happy your child has a close cousin'. It knocks you for six when someone else steals your baby limelight, especially when they try and knock you out of the picture too.
i am 14 weeks pregnant and I announced to everyone at 12 weeks that i was pregnant.
however family already new from 5 weeks, even my DH's family who he isn't really that close too. hes the black sheep of the family you see, but none the less everyone seemed exited about the baby.
however now his sister (apple of everyone's eye) who is only 17 by the way! has announce she is pregnant at 4 weeks, her and her boyfriend have even plastered it all Facebook minutes after she took the test.
I kind of had a feeling this would happen soon and I kept saying it to my DH but he was saying 'oh don't be silly' but here we are!
i don't know why i am so upset about it but i just feel a bit put out, and now like our baby isn't such a big deal.
i'm not even close to the family and its not like it is my family but i can't help having these negative feelings, i think it is because it is our first child after trying to conceive for two years... am i over reacting? is it just my hormones?
anyone got any advice to snap me out of it!?
my husbands sister in law is mad because i have already out done her with kids and of course now she is trying to out do me in every other way possible, it seems to be a competition with all in laws now and i have already made it clear i will always stay out of it and, no you are not over reacting, also if she is only 17 and pregnant it is just to compete with you and your husband, i got lucky my husband's sister in law got her tubes tied so i dont have to deal with that now.
... my sister had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, when i fell pregnant with my first (it was unplanned) she fell pregnant (using a fertility drug) a few weeks after i told my family i was pregnant but unfortunately she misscarried and she turned around and said i got pregnant out of spite and to just get at her and to rub it in that it was "easy" for me to fall pregnant.... urrm i wasnt even trying :-/... (we normally have a good relationship and got along really well)
it actually hurt my feelings that she felt like id purposely gotten pregnant to show her up and somehow it was my fault she MC. luckily enough before my son was born she fell pregnant again (through ivf) and now she has a beautiful daughter. families can be crazy...
i wouldnt let your SIL bother you, if she has gotten pregnant to steal your spot light, well i feel sorry for her child, being used as a pawn by its mother. obviously the novelty of being pregnant out of spite hasnt worn off and when the baby comes its her own problem that she didnt think it through and didnt do it for the right reason...
My cousin announced his girlfriend's pregnancy the day after I announced mine, was kind of annoyed about that. Mostly just because come ON, couldn't you have just given me a couple days of baby limelight lol!! But also because he's crazy immature. He's been in and out of juvi for years and never had a job. Oi oi oi. I'm worried about that LO, as his gf is about the same. I just hide in my bubble of working 9 hours a day, 5 days a week.
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