Well done you I had to tell my mum the same thing recently as she'd got it in her head that she would be coming to stay after baby is born. Our house is small so I think it will cause me more stress having her here. She was obviously disappointed but I don't get why people decide what they're going to do before asking! I don't know how I'm going to feel until baby is here so I'm not going to make plans like having people to stay. I like to think me and DH will cope and it will be nice bonding time for us all. Who knows tho - I may be ringing my mum begging her to come and stay a week in!!
Don't cave to her! I had MIL stay with us two days before my due date with my first until he was a few days sort of one month! She lives in a different country by choice but didn't tell us how long she would be staying! To cut a long story short she made my life hell! As a first time mother everything I did was wrong in her opinion, I had to run to pick him up when he cried so I could see to him not her. I was advised by hospital to feed on demand then she went behind my back and told the midwife she was concerned how much I was feeding him! She made life so hard for us all and that started problems with me and OH! You need time to bond with your baby without other people watching your every move! Stick to your guns and be strong!
Good for you My MIL lives down the street and is already talking about taking my son for a few hours every day (from the time he is born! I DON'T THINK SO) and I know I will need to put my foot down. I'm not having him leave me because she wants to parade him around. When he's older, sure, and if she wants to come by and sit with him while I shower or whatever, okay, but not taking him around. She even said that she'll buy us the stroller we'd like if she can store it at her house and we can just call her to pick us up. She's a quarter mile away and yes, space is at a premium here - like you, if anyone stays, they'd be on the couch because we have around 850 sq ft - but I'm not going to keep my son's stroller at her house. I know I'm walking in a minefield especially as she's our landlady and she's already said we can't afford to move anywhere else which blew my mind. Little does she know that we've been saving to buy a house.
My mom said she will come to visit in August and she intends to get a hotel room. Maybe it is because my sister has two very young children or because it's a 10 year difference between when my mom had kids and when DH's mom had her last kid but my mom is definitely the more laid back of the two.
My MIL would stay if we allowed it. Not a chance in fact this time she won't be getting to visit as much either. Last time round the last thing I needed was OH's family constantly coming round to visit. Making me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I was really unwell after having Lewis and was readmitted to hospital several times. What I really needed was time to recover and enhoy my son.
OH and I have already had a discussion about it and he's realised he should not have let his family constantly visit those early days. The worst occasion was when my midwife was in visiting and telling me I had to go back to hospital. OH's brother was on his way to visit so OH phoned to tell him what was happening only to be told we'd have to wait for them to arrive as the kids wanted to meet Lewis. That will not be happening again under any circumstances. My health comes first.
I would tell her no, thanks but will hold on her offer if you feel you need help (some women do go through depression after birth) but you'll be happy that she could come and visit for a short period of time.
Honestly after I come home from the hospital I dont want any visitors for a while. You come home tired and sore and the last thing you want is to feel obligated to play hostess. Like you said with my mom its different as well because shes my mom I dont feel obligated to do things for her, shes really there to help and doesnt care if I sneak off to sleep. Everyone else expects you to sit up and talk about the labor and delivery and the baby its just exhausting.
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