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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 02:26 AM   #51
chrislo4
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Ah hun, i dont have anything to say that someone else hasnt already said but you know where i am if you need an inbox to just rant in etc. Sorry your going through this xx


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 03:09 AM   #52
Lil_Apple
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Oh my word I dont know how I would be feeling right now



That feeling of not being trusted must be terrible as thats what it is isnt it. I do hope that when you baby is born their are undeniable features of your DH in the baby. There was NO doubt just by looking at DS1 that he was my DHs son (no that he was questioning) hope its the same for you and this test business will then no longer be needed xx


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 03:21 AM   #53
notmommyyet
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tell him youll give him a dna tyest but you want a lie detector test to prove hes been faithful. what a jerk. But id just do it and make him feel bad for doubting you. Or tell him "I want doctors notes to prove your infertility so I know you have a valid reason for doubting me and causing me this stress, then I will gladly taje one" Either way not cool of him. hugs!


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 03:23 AM   #54
disneyleanne
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I would give him the DNA test but for me the relationship would be over, I couldn't stay with someone who didnt trust me.


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 03:31 AM   #55
Sunnie1984
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Wow.

Ummm.... I'm not sure I'm the best person to offer advice, as my DH is not insecure at all, and therefore I'm probably not in a similar situation to you.

But, I think speaking to his mum is a good idea, hopefully she can get through to him how irrational he's being.

I agree with previous posters, if he can prove that he is infertile, then take the DNA test. (Because, from your post and how upset you are, I'm positive that he will have absolutely no problems having children!)

I think that is a fair compromise (although i'd still be furious!) because if he legitimately believes that he is infertile, then he has a reason to ask for the test (although I don't understand why he began TTC with you if he honestly believed he was infertile).

If he won't take a SA then you have a major trust issue on your hands. THat means that he is using "infertility" as an excuse to ask for the test, and knows that he probably is perfectly capable of conceiving a child.

If it's an excuse, then there are obviously serious problems in his head, that he needs to sort out.

Personally the relationship would be over for me, if my DH asked for a DNA test, because he would essentially be accusing me of cheating. But then I'm not in your position with an insecure husband, so maybe I'm being a bit harsh to say that.

Good luck with all this, I'm sorry you have to go through it.

x


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 03:54 AM   #56
griffinh
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such big

for me, I would do the dna test, prove im faithful, then leave him. how can someone who is supposed to trust and love you put you through that? why would he agree to ttc and have a baby if he believed he couldnt have them???

he's an idiot sweetheart x


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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 04:19 AM   #57
LostAndAlone
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at the same time though, we are all women! We really dont know 100% what goes through a mans head. We get pregnant and yes they should believe us as they chose to be with us but only we truly know who the babys dad is, and yes it is them but in a way can you really blame them if they have a slight niggling doubt that then takes over and makes them paraniod? How many times have we watched jeremy kyle or the maury show and the women are giving it big that "he is the daddy" and it comes out he aint. You never know, maybe 99% of guys have this niggle but they then realise they do trust us and it was silly to think that but then again there will be the odd few who cant shake off the feeling for one reason or another ie it has happened to them in the past and they are terrified they are having a baby that they will love for someone some day to come along and say "thats not yours" !! Im not saying he is in the right here but im just saying, there must be something going on in his head to make him even ask, especially if he aint normally like this xxx


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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 04:59 AM   #58
Sunshine12
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I definately wouldnt speak to his mum. Its nothing to do with her and, assuming he is an adult (albeit isnt acting like one) I dont think it would be fair of you to bring her into the situation. His mum has nothing to do with this x


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 05:01 AM   #59
LostAndAlone
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^^ i agree this could just end up making things worse^^
My oh hates other people knowing our business no matter what it is.


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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 05:03 AM   #60
flamingpanda
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disneyleanne View Post
I would give him the DNA test but for me the relationship would be over, I couldn't stay with someone who didnt trust me.
This would be me too. I'd also make it very clear to him that was how I felt. Like other have said, I suspect this is coming from guilt on his side.


 
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